Disclaimer: YYH's rightful owner is Yoshihiro Togashi.

Title: Do You Miss Me?

By: WonderfulDemon123

Chapter 1

Love?

Botan Hotaru hates that word.

People always ponder things like, 'what is love?' – to some people, it means your friends or your family but to most, someone whom you're attracted to and want to be with. She always hear they talk about the good things of falling in love – the 'happiness' love seems to bring whenever you're around someone you care the most about.

When she thinks anything but.

To her, it means nothing. Why does everyone around her never seem to talk about heartbreaks? The anger, pain and anguish called by the so-called love people seem to worship.

Everytime she hears her best friends, Keiko and Yukina talk about love, she can't help but notice how their eyes seem to glimmer, can't help but silently note to herself how happy they always look everytime they see Yusuke and Kuwabara. She listens to them each time they tell her how their relationships are going, she smiles each time she watches the couples kiss – but she never shows her repulsion towards the affection called love. It doesn't sound that surprising really; she always hides herself from everyone anyway, even from her closest friends. They don't know what she thinks; don't notice the way she roll her eyes sometimes, don't realize she thinks their relationships won't last.

However, to say that she has never believed in love would be a total complete lie. It was because she was stupid enough to believe it once that she was in this mess. The mess she became ever since she met him.

Yes, him.

The very existence she loathes so much –

Shuichi Minamino…

or as he's commonly known as by friends – Kurama.

She hates the way he avoids her, the way he turns away everytime their eyes make contact, and especially the way he's always trying to upset her. What was he doing, flirting with all those girls in front of her? The pain, wrath, jealousy and repulsion she feels everytime those goddamn whores lay their hands on him and flirt shamelessly with him. What seems to add more fuel to fire is how he lets them. Every goddamn time.

He is the only one who can ignite all these negative emotions in her. He is the only one who can hurt her so many times; the only one who does it repeatedly. He is the only one she holds feelings for, after all. So much so that at one point, before she even realizes it, she starts to hate him for all the pain he made her feel. And all because she just loves him too much.

She hates the word love.

Especially when it makes her think of the one person she despises on the face of earth.

Botan laid there on the bed, staring up at the wall. Eyes half lidded and blank, teeth biting on her lower lip as she once again reprimanded herself for thinking too much about love. About him.

But during nights like these, she found that she couldn't help herself. During the nights she couldn't sleep, she always over think about things. Things she didn't want to think about. Her mind had a tendency to go to matters that she would rather not dwell in, which was sometimes something she hated about herself. If she could, she would shut her mind up and only let things she wanted to think about stay while the ones she didn't buried deep within the deepest depths of her mind, stopping them from entering her head, never to bother her again.

Too bad she couldn't.

A sigh escaped her as she rolled to her side. She really needed to sleep – tomorrow was a big day, after all. She was going on a summer trip with her friends. They were going to hang out. It was a well deserved break, especially after all the exams they had to take. Everyone was going to be there; Keiko, Yukina, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei and…

Kurama.

The name came out grudgingly in her head and she gritted her teeth, grabbing the pillow from above her head. She buried her face in it in attempt to stifle her frustrated cry. Why on earth did she agree to go? Usually, she would reject every invitation she gets if it meant Kurama would be coming as well. It was so dumb of her to go along… but maybe it was for Keiko's and Yukina's sake.

As they were always busy with exams, the three girls didn't have much time as they used to to hang out with each other, apart from when they walk home from school together. She missed her friends; she missed all the fun she had with them… which was why she agreed, wasn't it? She wanted to spend time with them again.

This was an opportunity; a once in a lifetime opportunity.

She removed the pillow from her face, and for a brief second, she smiled at the thought, but the radiant smile fell when Kurama suddenly intruded her head… again. What was she supposed to do? Did she have to avoid him the whole time during the trip? It would be the usual treatment again – she should be used to this by now.

Sighing again, Botan moved the pillow until it was beneath her head. There was really no use in thinking about what she should do right now… She needed to sleep, or else, she'd miss the trip. She made a promise with the others to meet at the train station at 8 o'clock. She had to wake up early.

With that thought, Botan closed her eyes, trying to let sleep take over. But, try as she might, she still couldn't sleep. Thoughts of a certain redhead still plagued her, bugging her, almost as if they were trying to stop her from sleeping.

Exasperated, Botan's brows furrowed even as her eyes remained shut tight. Frustration was written all over her face and fueling her heart with fire. Angry at herself for letting him control so much of her emotions, and angry at him for doing this to her.

She tried to remain still on the bed, assuming that someway she would be able to sleep if she did so… but her efforts were futile, as more thoughts – or should she say, memories, of the past began to invade her head, relentless in its efforts to keep her awake. And all of them, revolved around Kurama and herself.

From when they first met, became friends, how she fell in love with him and how everything just went downhill from then on…