It was a sweltering day, the inquisition seemingly melting in the sun's unrelenting heat. A certain meat cake with horns made his way to the blacksmith and muttered "the usual". The blacksmith nodded and allowed the Iron Bull to head towards the back, where he lifted 70 pounds of iron in one hand and 2 bulls in the other. He had an image to keep up, and there wasn't a day he would miss the exercise that made him impossibly ripped.
Suddenly, a strange white creature scuttled into the room through a small window, his pale head reflecting light into the bull's eyes and temporarily blinding him, dropping all that he had going. He shielded his eyes, and got a better look at his distraction.
It was the infamous egg man (not to be confused with the sonic villain), with a face to sharp and narrow you could have sworn was used to chisel the bulls abs.
The Iron Bull grinned at his newfound fortune.
"Like what you see?" he asked, flexing his bulbous muscles so round and distinct a bouncy house would be jealous.
The elf like cue ball ginger eyebrows shot up in surprise, then scowled. His intent to steal one of the bulls would have to be put on hold, now with his beefy obstacle flexing in the way. Perhaps it was the way his own head shined light on the glistening, sweaty abs that made his face burn violently, but he did his best to ignore it.
Before the elf could insult the other, the Iron Bull's steel arm wrapped around the delicate frame in a inviting embrace.
"Unhand me you fiend" he hissed, his once pale head resembling a strawberry.
He leaned in and whispers in the massive, pointy ears "I'm gonna be the big bad dread wolf tonight, you egg".
"what."
"hang on, we are going to my place."
The Bull flexed his pillowy bara tiddies around the others small frame, effectively sinking in a few good inches, in a firm grip, and ran to his cave carved out of the mountain, the entrance having to comically large holes in the sides to accommodate for his large horns.
He flexed, setting the skittish figure down and took a moment to admire his room.
It was a dom's paradise, with whips, chains, ropes, handcuffs, leather, all the good stuff.
"Safe word is 'egghead'"
"I'm not saying that"
"Then we don't have a problem"
Solas let out an unholy screech, crawling onto the wall, the roof, and eventually out of the cave in a spider-like fashion. It was so well climbed that the Iron Bull teared up in his good eye with pride.
"That'll do, egg.
That'll do".
Le End