Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach
Author's Note: I wrote this a long time ago. Back in the Japanese anime when Rukia was to be executed. I just found it a few days ago. It startles me that I can relate to Rukia's thoughts. IchiRuki
Fix You
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An Ichigo x Rukia short one-shot
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Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
- Coldplay - Fix You
What did it feel like to die? How would it feel to be devoured merciless by Sōkyoku, the giant halberd that destroys a soul on contact? Where would my soul go when my presence is discarded?
I did not have the answers to these questions. Nor did I care.
I am such a creature who does not deserve to live, let alone care. And I certainly do not deserve love.
I am unworthy.
It should not hurt me, but it does.
And the tears come streaming down my face. It becomes harder and harder to breathe. Stop crying, you fool. I know in my heart… I do not deserve to live.
This simple fact should not hurt me.
I do not deserve to live.
My inconsistent thoughts drift from one subject to another. Sometimes in slow motion and then sometimes in a blur. During this, I do not notice the heavy rise and fall of my chest. I fail to recognize that night had fallen and it grew cooler in this white, tall tower. I am hopeless.
Hopeless.
Unworthy.
I am hopeless as my lifeless body that has found a spot in the center of the floor. The coldness of the ground froze me, but it did not distract my thoughts that strayed and then dwelled topic to topic.
Death. Life. Love. Friendship. Death. Death. Shinigami. Death. Friends. Love. Life. Knowledge. Earth. School. Death. Life. Happiness. Ichigo. Death. Kaien-dono..
Death.
Life.
Happiness.
Sorrow.
Death.
Love…
Ichigo.
I do not deserve friendship, love, and life.
The tiny pang of desire - the desire to see that orange-haired teenager again – must be crushed.
No, I do not deserve friendship, love, or life.
--
Far away the orange-haired teen was training. His breath came in and out rapidly, while a crimson liquid trickled down his face. Still, despite he was tired and in pain, he maintained his fighter's stance, unmoving. Training hard for battles ahead, here was a man willing to save someone else, risking his own life.
To him, she was worth it. Rukia was worthy of friendship, love and life.
He kept his goal in mind.
To save Rukia. To save Rukia. To save Rukia. To save Rukia.
Ichigo tensed his muscles, clenching his fingers in a tight fist. He was unaware of Rukia's feelings, the feelings that allowed her to accept non-existence so easily. He would fix that though. He'd make sure she was alright. And he'd give her a reason to live. To laugh. To care. To love. To survive.
He would fix her.
Ichigo was not used to losing. This was one fight he could not afford to lose.
--
End
(Aw I wish someone would fix me)
Anyways…
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