If this seems bad, it's because I wrote it late at night.

Note: Rick owns everything!

I hated Tuesday. Most of the einherjar set aside their desire to kill one another and came together to kill me, like some kind of twisted inspirational movie.

It was probably because Jack was...well, I didn't know where Jack was, but when the battle started he began to chase after the Come At Me Bro, apparently taking the letters smeared across his chest as a challenge.

"Magnus!"

I deflected an axe coming at my head and tried to run to Mallory, who was covered in blood and standing in the middle of an angry mob of Vikings. She was trying to stab a berserker with her bayonet and fight off a burly dude with an executioner axe, but it wasn't going very well. I jumped over a body and started to run into the crowd to help her out, but the berserker stabbed her before I could get close.

She gave a thumbs up to her attackers and died before I could get to her. The mob focused on me, so I did whatever a reasonable einherji would do in that situation and ran the other way. I would have gotten decapitated by a spear if I didn't trip over a body.

I stumbled back up and hid behind a tree, which was very manly and heroic of me. I was contemplating playing dead when I heard a shout coming from the ditch a few feet in front of me.

I ran over and nearly retched at the sight of bodies hastily kicked into the hole. T.J.'s head was poking out from under a hairy guy, an arrow lodged in his neck. It was a miracle he wasn't dead yet.

"A little help here?" He whimpered, coughing up more blood.

I sighed and pulled the arrow out, then did a bit of alf seidr and closed up the wound.

"Thanks, Beantown." T.J. rolled the hairy guy off of him and gestured to another bloody hole in his stomach. "Now get this one."

I had just peeled his uniform off and begun to heal him when a spike of pain shot through me. I looked down and my chest and saw the tip of a bone steel sword poking out, wielded by the lanky girl that stabbed me in the back. I used the last bit of my strength to heal T.J., and then everything went black.

THIS LINE BREAK IS REMINDING YOU TO KEEP THE FLAMES IN MUSELPHIEM(DID I SPELL THAT RIGHT?)

I woke up in a jewelry store, which is weird, since I usually wake up in my room when I die. I rubbed my chest, which felt like it still had a sword sticking out of it, and looked around. There was a man I assumed was the owner bickering with a customer with multicolored hair and a scarred up face.

Loki froze the man mid shout and turned to me, mischief flickering in his eyes.

"Magnus! Just the man I wanted to see!" He sauntered over to me and helped me up.

"What do you want, Loki?" Loki, for those of you who don't know, spends his free time annoying me in my dreams.

He spread out his hands. "I need a favor."

"Do I have to do it?"

"Yes."

I rubbed my temples. "Will it hasten Ragnarok?"

"Probably not, but you can never be to sure with women." He grinned.

"What is it?" I sighed.

"Nothing, really, just a bit of revenge I've been cooking up." He walked over to a glass case, pulled out a diamond necklace, and stuffed it in his pocket.

"You see, a few days ago it was my dear daughter's birthday. I wanted to give her a good present, me being the great dad that I am." I rolled my eyes.

"But when I tried to give it to her she threw an axe at me. At me!" He lifted up his jersey to reveal a bloody slash on his stomach.

"Huh. It was Sam's birthday?"

Loki glared at me. "Anyways, I thought I should still try to give her her present, but I added a curse. You know, to, ah, repay her."

"Should I have gotten her a cake? I think I should have gotten her a cake."

Loki ignored me. "So, I want you to give her this necklace. It won't kill her, don't worry! It's just to embarrass her."

"How about no?"

"You don't have a choice." Loki threw the stolen necklace at me, and I caught it by reflex. He chuckled, and the world faded.

THIS LINE BEAK IS HOPING YOU WONT JUDGE ME

I woke up again, this time in my room. For a second I hoped that the necklace wasn't with me, but my hopes were dashed when I saw it glinting on top of my chest.

Jack was washing off in the creek nearby, but he stopped when he saw that I was alive.

"Magnus! I'm glad you're back, because I need to recharge!" He floated towards me.

"Not now, Jack." I picked up the necklace. It didn't seem very threatening, but I had to make sure Sam never got to it.

"Hey, Jack, could you destroy this for me?" I looked at my sword.

Jack scoffed. (Could a sword scoff?) "of course I could! I'm not one of those flimsy swords the hotel gives you!"

"Okay. Will you destroy this for me?"

I laid the necklace in the grass next to him. He swung down and struck the thing, but it didn't break, it just sent off a bunch of sparks.

"Huh." Jack prodded it with his tip. "Even a sword as awesome as me couldn't destroy this thing. Sorry."

I looked at him. "Then how do we get rid of it?"

He floated in silence for a minute. "The only way is to let it run it's course."

"How long will that be?"

"No more than a few hours." He hummed. "Whose it for, anyways?"

"Sam."

"Don't give it to her. She'll bite your head off if you do."

"What does it do anyways?"

Jack prodded it again, only this time it leapt up an flew towards the door. I managed to grab the end before it got too far, but it was a lot stronger than it looked, and I had to dig my heels in to stop it from escaping.

"Help!" I squeaked.

"Not a good idea. If I help, you'll have to face the strain I got in battle."

The necklace pulled harder, causing me to lose my balance. It dragged me to the door, then through the door. I must have looked ridiculous, getting owned by jewelry, because Halfborn was in the hall, and he started laughing when I got pulled by.

"Help me!" I growled at him.

Halfborn grabbed the necklace and tried to pick it up, but he fell on top of me and got pulled along as well.

"Chase!" He glowered. "What did you do?"

"Loki. Sam. Evil necklace." I wheezed.

He must have understood. Halfborn threw out his arm, trying to stop us, and grabbed the nearest thing, which happened to be the doorway to Mallory's room. A chunk of wood and plaster came off in Halfborn's hand and he started cursing.

The evil necklace dragged us into the elevator. It went dead for a moment, then got heavier and heavier until the metal floor started creaking.

I tried to stand up and escape before I fell through the floor with Halfborn, but the necklace had grafted itself to my hand. Halfborn managed to hit the lobby button before we fell nineteen stories to our deaths.

The door opened on the first floor and the necklace detached itself from me. I made another grab at it, but it was too quick. It flew through the lobby and knocked Hunding into the front desk before finding its target.

Sam had just walked(well, flown) in. The necklace wrapped itself around her neck like a vampiric spider, throwing her onto the ground.

Halfborn knew better that to stick around. I, on the other hand, rushed towards Sam to see if she was alright.

She was not. For some reason she turned into a big grey wolf, which made me back off.

Oh. 'Bite my head off.' Very funny, Jack.

"Magnus." She snarled, "Why am I a wolf?"

"It's Loki's fault!" I hid behind a dazed Hunding, not wanting to face the wrath of wolf-Sam.

"Get it off me!" She yelled.

Jack chose that time to make an appearance.

"You can't get it off. It's stuck on there for a least a few hours."

"I...agh!" Sam trotted up to me and growled.

THIS LINE BREAK APOLOGIZES IN ADVANCE

The necklace finally came off. Just in time, too, since I was tired from holding on for dear life to a pine tree.

"Magnus, come down.." The diamond necklace fell to the ground with a thud and Sam changed back in a blur. "...here so I can kill you!" Sam looked down at herself, then up at me, then down at herself.

"It came off! You don't have to kill me! Thank the gods!" I cried with relief.

She flew up to the branch I was holding onto.

"No." She said, floating next to me, axe in hand. "But I still want to."