Hey guys how's it going? okay so I have redone the first chapter and I think it's better than it was before so I hope you enjoy it since I since it has been redone and hopefully made better. Well I don't have anything of importance that I want to say so go ahead and begin with the reading!
I'm sure everyone in this world has felt tired, some more than others but they still felt it to a certain extent. Yet there are some who feel its wrath at full power, it's the kind of tired that screams at you to sleep for all eternity. Whispering into your ear that peace will come if you follow its command, and you want to. You so desperately want to grab a hold of its hand, and let it lead you to a land of everlasting dreams.
But there are things that subconsciously hold you back, like an invisible string that somehow manages to control a puppet, it's something like that. And it's buried deep within me, I don't know if it's in my heart, mind, or my body. Maybe it's all three, hell I don't know where to start to find a place that can answer the questions I have. Sounds like a troubling issue, yeah? Well it is, not anywhere near easy.
A lot of people say that when you always have people around you that sit there and judge you are the worst kind of situations, yet I argue it with my own experience. The worst type of situation is when you are left completely alone with your mind, you can sit there and try to say "I'm okay, I love myself for everything I am." But the tiny voices in your head would snicker and say the complete opposite. And what makes it the worst is you know you can walk away from people but you can never run away from your mind, so the torment will never leave. And It follows you, knows your every move, but why wouldn't it?
Your mind is the one who lets the rest of your body do as you want. Controls everything you do, so which one is worse, having the ability to escape, or being forever trapped in your own mind, never being allowed to rest?
And as much as I would love to just turn my shoulder and act as though I am not the victim of my cruel mind, I know the harsh reality that brings the truth of such suffering.
But I bet you don't want to hear a story like this; it's not a fairy tale and never will be. So should I put up a façade, and pretend that I am a merry go lucky girl? Or do you really want to uncover a nasty trail, which ends up leading to my own self destruction? And as much as I would love to be able to persuade you to turn back now, I know there is nothing I can do to stop you.
So I can only pray that you heed my warning, if you go any further the things you will read only get worse. I will tell you every little detail in which my mind remembers to make sure you know what really happened feel and see the things I felt and saw. The things I will tell you can become very gruesome and sometimes disturbing, so if you are not a person who can stomach this. Do not continue to listen to my little pathetic story, for it's not for the faint hearted.
And with that out of the way I say we are good to go. I think I should start from the very beginning. Let's call it…."Chapter one, lifeline." Yeah I think that is just fine for now, so…shall we start and go through the timeline of my journey of abuse, drugs, death, suicide, and much more, that has led you to the current me?
"I'm telling you the truth Yasuka! I would never cheat on you honey, you've got to believe me!"
There was a woman who looked no older than 25 she had long amber hair, and was around 5'5 arguing with a man who looked to be around the same age. He was taller than the said woman, and had short dark brown hair, with a 5 o'clock shadow.
"Oh I believe you…Believe that you're a lying piece of shit! Who was that man that you were talking to at the bar then? So he was just another one of your 'friends'? haha yeah fucking right!"
Suddenly the man grabs the woman by her neck and lifts her into the air, rage filling his face as he tries to squeeze the last bit of life out of the woman. She struggles and flails her arms into the air desperately trying to free herself from the said man's grip. He chuckles and tosses her to the ground, when her body made contact with the floor she was soon met with a boot to the gut.
"You are just a dirty bitch! And now looked what you did, made me the laughing-stock for my friends because I'm dating a whore like you! God! You make me fucking sick!"
His foot came down once again against the poor ladies face. Tears streamed down her cheeks, from the immense pain radiating all over her body. The tears were soon mixed with the blood that was pouring down from an open gash on the right side of her forehead. Cries filled the room as a small child no older than 4 was huddled in a corner desperately trying to cover her ears. She had hair like her mother but it was much shorter, her bangs were held back with a bright yellow headband.
Her eyes were filled with fear as she watched her mother get beat once again. This wasn't such a rare thing for the young girl to see, practically happened every day. That didn't stop the fear go through her body from watching it though. Looking back over to her mother she sees a large puddle of blood that was getting bigger by the second, the continuous blood flow looking somewhat like a river with the amount that she was losing. The mother's eyes met the frightened girls as she desperately tried to form words. Only producing short uneven gasps and pants, she mustered the last of her energy and yelled.
"Ritsu run and don't y-you dare look back!"
The woman let out a loud audible gasp as a sickening crackle filled the dimly lit room. Ritsu stared at the lifeless amber orbs that were once her mother's which used to be bright and full of energy. A dark shadow loomed over Ritsu, as she quickly scurried to her feet. The man quickly reached for the collar of her shirt, missing Ritsu dove under his legs and made way towards the front door.
Stumbling over a stuffed teddy bear, she trips and lands face first on the hard wood floor. Yasuka made his way to towards Ritsu and grabbed her by the leg dragging her back towards him, not caring that the wood was causing the skin on her knees and elbows to scrape away.
"Get back here you little bitch! You're not going anywhere!"
Crying Ritsu frantically clawed at the floor, trying to get away from the man's grip. Turning around Ritsu kicks Yasuka in the face breaking away from his grasp, she staggers to her feet and bolted for the front door. Throwing the door open she takes off into a sprint away from the dreaded nightmare, she didn't know where she was running but she knew she couldn't stop.
Fearing that he would be right behind her, only an arm's reach away. Ready to finish her off just as he had done her mother. Tears trickling down her red cheeks, as the throbbing pain from her legs and arms continued. Blood was seeping through her shirt and was streaming down her small pale legs.
"Mother….Why did you let that man come into our lives?" I screamed into my head as I continued my never-ending journey down a long trail in the woods.
I knew that if I came here he would never be able to find me, looking around I look for a small red ribbon tied around a tree. Finding it only a few feet ahead of me I let out a sigh and slow down my pace. Climbing up the tree with the red ribbon I sit up on a branch that was perched ways away from the ground.
My heart thumped in my chest and my breathing was erratic, my eyes were shut as my head leaned against the stern tree with my shoulders slumped. Opening my eyes I stared at nothing, as they burned with tears that had yet fallen. Every beating of my heart seemed to take all of the energy I had left, but somehow, it found a way to continue its interminable beats. My mind was past the pain that was striking through my body, it was in a stage of detachment. And I didn't mind, I hoped wished that I wouldn't remember nor know of this pain again.