(I picture Annalynne McCord {when she was about 15 yrs old} as Julia Thompson,

Kate Hudson as Charlotte Thompson [Julia's Mom]

Lux Teasdale as Demi Thompson,

and Gena Rowlands as Grammy Thompson)

1

So tie me to a post and block my ears

I can see widows and orphans through my tears

I know my call despite my faults

And despite my growing fears

But I will hold on hope

And I won't let you choke

On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain

-Mumford and Sons, The Cave

•~•~•~•~•

This is the third place this semester.

"Julia, are you ready?" My mom asked, creaking my already cracked door open only a bit as she awaited my answer.

"Yeah." I grumbled irritatedly under my breath, lacing my old DM boots and standing up. I grabbed my small suitcase filled with everything I owned on the way out. Upon reaching the shabby, dusty old living room, I hugged my grandma for a long time. i needed the comfort immensely. I then turned slightly to plant a reluctant kiss to my sister, Demi's, innocent little five-year-old forehead. I struggled to hold my tears as terror filled her big, doe eyes. "Julia! No! I don't want you to go!" She cried, latching onto my body to hopefully prevent me from leaving. Grammy got up off her spot on the couch and came to assist me. "Demi, we already talked abo-"

"No!" She sobbed.

"Settle down sweetheart, it's not forever." Grammy cooed, attempting once more to pry Demi from me as I agreed.

"NOOO!" She shrieked. Right in my ear. I grimaced, but kept my cool.

"Demi!" Mom yelled at her from behind me.

Demi's eyes snapped up to Mom and glistened with fear and fresh tears. I whirled around and gave her my worst death glare. The bags under her eyes were prominent and a dark, aging gray. Stress was evident in her features and overall presence, and veins stuck out on her neck and temples. I realized that Demi could be a handful sometimes and probably has been working on giving Mom a headache all day long, but that is no excuse to yell at a child. She wasn't doing anything wrong, she just didn't fully understand what was going on, and she didn't want me to leave her.

And I don't want to leave Demi, either.

What, did she honestly expect a little five-year-old to be olay with her only sister who's been there for her all her life to just suddenly leave out of the blue, without her? Ridiculous!

I can only imagine what Mom will do to her when she snaps. She would never physically hurt Demi, I knew that, but she definitely would crush her spirits.

I turned back to Demi and attempted to soothe her panic.

"I will call every day from Uncle Robby's house." I smiled. "And we can Skype whenever you like."

She sniffled. "But we don't have a computer..."

"Well Mommy can take you to the library then." I suggested. We were too poor to afford much of anything, let alone computers of any sort. All the money we made went to the small amount of food we could afford and to pay the bills. Everything either came out of our own pockets or were provided through charity or as hand-me-downs. I felt my mother tense from next to me.

Figures. She would detest anything that didn't benefit her and made others happy.

Okay, that's a bit harsh, but I don't care.

"Okay, Demi. Tell Julia bye-bye one more time and give her big hugs." Her voice was sickly and ran thick like syrup. I could tell she was angry but I really didn't care. She didn't care to consider me before saying things so why should I give her that respect? It's not like she would ever return it.

"... Y-you co-coming back. Right, M-mommy?" Demi said shakily, still recovering from her mini-breakdown.

"Yes." She said emotionlessly.

As soon as I moved from Demi's tight hug and transferred her over to Grammy, my mother grabbed my forearm and pulled me to the door. I would have fought back and yelled at her to not touch me, but I knew it would be stupid to upset Demi even more.

Once the slammed front door served as a sound barrier between us, I began to protest and tried to yank my arm from her grasp, but that woman had a death grip.

"Let go of me!" I spat.

She kept hold of me until we finally reached her beat up old Toyota. It was all different colors from the cars we had to scavenge parts from to keep fixing the piece of shit.

She spun me around and got it my face. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" She growled. She was way too close to me.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? You take out your stress on Demi when she is just as stressed as you are about me leaving and then you drag me out here and get in my face because I was nice to her? FUCK YOU!" I was beyond angry and frustrated at this point, and shoved her away from me.

She stumbled back and struggled to regain her balance. When she did, she took a step forward but stayed out of my face, granting me my personal space. But her eyes blazed, and if looks could kill, I would drop to the floor right there.

"How can you speak for me and make promises to her like that?! You know I might not be able to even have enough time for my work as it is!" Tears ruined her eyes. That's one of the things I got from her, iI think. When we're frustrated or angry, or feeling any emotion really with enough intensity, we start to cry. And no matter how mad I got, it always caught me off guard to see my mother cry.

Seeing my expression change sent the tears spilling over her lashes.

"Mom..."

She let out an involuntary sob.

"Mom, relax. I'm sure she would be just as satisfied with a phone call."

"T-The phone bill... Wha-a-" She stuttered. I hated having to always be the adult, but I also knew she was trying as hard as she could.

"Well then do it the old fashioned way and write a letter with her. She could use the writing practice." I reasoned. I was right. Demi was incredibly gifted and imaginative, her hand just didn't always have the same abilities as her mind.

She sniffled and nodded, and I held her shoulders as she wiped her tears with her palms. When her eyes met mine again, she gave me a sheepish smile. "You're right... I'm sorry." The apology was meant to serve for multiple things, but it didn't make up for anything. I accepted it all the same, and we got in the car to begin the long, silent drive to the airport. I didn't even bother to turn the radio on. I just wanted to be left with my thoughts.

I couldn't stand being away from Demi, and honestly I had no clue how she and mom would keep their sanity without me there, but I trusted that Grammy could be their rock from now on.

From now on...

How long will this be, anyway?

Robby had promised my mother that he would enroll me in college (he was filthy rich) but I had no clue when exactly I would be able to visit them and the familiar feeling of uncertainty followed me around everywhere. I hated not knowing things. I hated not being exactly sure what to do.

I sighed under my breath. The last thing I needed was for my mom to take it as an opportunity to ask what was wrong, because I knew me well enough to be sure that I would not be able to stop myself from saying exactly what I thought of this particular situation, and I wouldn't be able to hold my ground in an argument now, when all I felt like doing was crawling into a ball and sleeping for a few months.

Maybe I am just worrying too much again...

Whichever was the case, I wasn't allowed much more time to process what was going on, because we had already pulled up to the airport.

I tried to keep myself from screaming out of boredom. We spent over an hour in itself in the baggage checking shit, and I accidentally forgot I had my belt on and the buckle caught the attention of the metal detector, adding an extra 30 minutes.

It seemed to be years before we finally got to the gate. I was surprised when Mom called out, "Hey, Robby!" With a genuine smile. Wow, Mom. I'll miss you, too. Thanks.

He was here, too? I only expected him to pick me up when I landed, not care enough to accompany me on the way. I was flattered and appreciated it, but at the same I just wanted to be left alone.

"Hello, Charlotte!" He greeted my mom, then turned to me. "And you must be Julia." He smiled sincerily.

"Yeah, that's me." I tried my best to return it.

"I heard your birthday is coming up in a couple months." He chirped.

"Yessir." I nodded. His happy personality was contagious and I felt myself actually being influenced by his charm.

"Well then happy birthday, dear." I cringed slightly at the affectionate term, but I doubt like looked much different from my original facial expression. I got a grip quickly, though.

"Thank you."

My mom and Robby chatted a little more and discussed the terms for me staying at his house before Robby took my tiny carry-on from me and we climbed the ramp together.

"I hope you feel right at home with me." He looked in my eyes and guided me down the ramp, placing a hand lightly on my back. I didn't like the feeling of the touch, but then again I didn't like the feeling of any touch whatsoever. But this sent an even worse feeling through me, like he was going to hurt me.

I gulped and answered, "Thank you. For everything, not just that. I know you don't have to keep me with you and I just want you to know how appreciative I am."

"Oh, it's no trouble, dear. Don't worry about it. Anything for family, right?" He soothed.

I dismissed the thought I was just having as foolishness. I had only just met him, so of course I was overly uneasy around him. And besides, he seemed very nice.

I nodded and smiled. "Deal... But I would still like to help out... I don't know what's around in California where you live, so could you help me find a job please?"

"Oh, you don't have to help, but of course I could help you get a job. Extra spending money never hurt, right? And you need a car anyways... You know what? I believe I have a position open in my company for you!" He was very helpful and he was right. I didn't know about 'extra spending money', but I could definately send money to Mom and Demi to help out and tell them that I haven't stopped caring about them while I'm away.

"You have your own company?" I asked. No wonder he was so wealthy.

"Sure do. And it pays well." It felt like there was something behind his voice now, but I ignored it. I was being ridiculous. He was doing so much for me, why would he possibly hurt me?

"I will have to take you up on that."

"Deal, then. We can discuss it farther when we get home." He playfully shook my hand to seal the deal. "I promise." He added.

I smiled, overwhelmed with how happy this had turned out for me. This was going better than I had ever imagined.