Hello, my beautiful readers! I'm just getting off of a Hiatus, now that I'm on winter break, and a lot has changed. I feel my my writing has significantly improved, so I am going to re-write a bunch of my stories. I plan on simply editing the chapters, and re-uploading them. Also, the lyrics will be back, but not as prominent as before. I'm not the thirteen year old girl anymore, writing her first fanfics, who was intimidated by the "Eliminator" group. I hope you all enjoy this rendition, because I certainly do. (Still don't own Megamind, or any lyrics used. Warning, this story is still TOTAL crack. ;) )
It was a a cloudy and dreary day in Metro City, a rare occurrence. Normally, the sky was near cartoonishly blue, and the populace joyfully went about their lives. Not surprisingly, only a few civilians were courageous enough to brave the impending storm.
Metro Man was valiantly patrolling the city. The cold didn't bother him any; temperature resistance was included in his vast arsenal of superpowers. He suspiciously scanned the streets, but much to his relief, nothing seemed amiss. It was just the kind of day Megamind would try to kidnap Roxie. The eccentric blue alien always had a bit of a theatrical streak, preferring to garner as much attention and drama as possible. It was one of her rare days off of work, and he didn't want the residant supervillian to spoil it for her.
Using his x-ray vision, he looked through the buildings to her apartment, just to make sure he hadn't snatched her yet. There had been many a time the villainous pair simply materialized With a can of knock out spray, and were off before anyone was wiser. He knew they had some sort of disguise system (that seemed to aid in his numerous prison breaks as well), but Metro Man couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was.
To his surprise, Roxanne was in her bedroom, with a Megamind cut out, a gag gift Megamind had given her in celebration of her 100th kidnapping. It was made of some reinforced cardboard and printed with top-quality ink. He had been the one to discover it, sitting outside of her apartment door with a neat black bow when he arrived to treat her to lunch. The snarky reporter had merely doubled over in hysterics, before she explained the occasion. Sure enough, the moment they stepped out of the apartment complex, she was out like a light, and vanished into thin air.
He furrowed his brow in confusion, refocusing on the situation at hand. Roxanne was dressed in the strangest outfit he had ever seen her wear. She had donned a thigh length, form-fitting black sequin dress, with a dropped back and small plastic spikes adorning the deep v-neck. She carefully leaned over a vanity table, applying a plum lipstick, and laughing for some indiscernible reason.
Music was playing, and with a jolt, he realized she was singing along. Straining his hearing, he was audience to what could only be described as the strangest song he'd ever heard come out of Roxie's mouth.
With a coy glance over her shoulder that pierced him, although logically, he knew her weak human eyes couldn't hope to see him, she twirled. Her fingers trailed delicately along the cutout's shoulder. "'Cause if you run your mouth and brag about our secret rendezvous, I will hunt you down."
With another giggle and a flourish, she was back at her vanity, eyes wide open as she applied a generous coat of mascara. Even then, she wasn't completely still; she still swayed to the melody, a classic, sensual pop piece of work.
He couldn't help but continue to stare incredulously in horror, as Roxanne spun back, holding onto 'Megamind's' raised hand, posed in his classic 'I-will-destroy-you-all' fashion. Grinning giddily, she continued to sing, occasionally punctuating the verses with a chuckle. "Boy, you can put me on you like a brand new white tee, I'll hug your body tighter than my favorite jeans. I want you to caress my like a tropical breeze, and float away with you in the Caribbean Sea."
She twined her arms around the cutout's neck and unabashedly emphasized each beat with with a hip shake. At this point, her words were little more than a whisper, but she mouthed them anyways, shaking with silent laughter. "I'mma treat you like a teddy bear, you won't wanna go no where, in the lap of luxury, layin' intertwined with me. You won't want for nothing boy; I will give you plenty. With that, she flopped backward onto her bed, and half-sang one last verse. "Touch my body."
At this point, his jaw had dropped so far it might never come up. His eyes snapped shut, wanting to get rid of images that would surely be forever burned into his brain. Roxanne, who was like a little sister was dancing for a Megamind cutout. He would never be unable to un-see that. But WHY would she be doing that? Most of all, she looked happy; positively ecstatic and about to burst with joy. That was what disturbed him the most.
If Blue Boy had done anything to her, he was in for the beating of a lifetime. Like a rocket he shot over to Megamind's lair. Small, frozen water droplets whipped past his face as he raced through the cloud cover, stinging his eyes.
He crashed through the roof, unable to contain his fury. A very startled Megamind stared with eyes wide as saucers at his unexpected appearance. He grabbed Megamind by his collar. "What did you do to her!" He screeched. "Did you feed her a love potion, or brainwash her? Or was it some new ray gun?"
"Who are you talking about?" He asked, genuinely confused.
"ROXANNE! What did you do to her?!" His chest heaved, although it was far from weariness. He was tempted to zap the criminal into oblivion, like he should have years years ago.
An evil smirk played at the corners of the blue man's mouth, quirking his expression into one of sarcastic amusement. He finally finally noticed that Megamind wasn't in his usual get-up. Instead of the cape and spiked mantle, he was wearing what looked like a leather tux with a button down white shirt underneath.
"Well, well, Metro Mahn. I think the damsel is getting what you call Stockholm Syndrome." His laugh was little more than a bark, but it was condescending all the same. "Did you ever consider that maybe she likes me, moron? But what makes you think I did something to her?" From the glint of humor in Megamind's eyes, he knew the alien was not nearly as innocent as he played. It was merely another theatrical ploy, designed to build the suspense.
Remembering his questionable means of observation, he hesitantly responded. "Because I stopped by her apartment to make sure you hadn't snatched her, and I saw her... Getting ready for something, dancing to a very inappropriate song, and that cutout you gave her was with her."
Megamind was unable to control his laughter. When it subsided, he responded "We're dating, you idiot. We've got a date tonight to go dancing. It's our one year anniversary." He finished proudly.
"...A year! How did I not know about this?" He growled in suspicion. There was no way they had been waltzing around for a year now without his notice. Sure, Roxanne had been acting strange prior to his unfortunate spying, but he'd just assumed she found someone at her work who wasn't intimidated by their supposed relationship.
"Because you're too oblivious to see what's right under your nose?" He replied mockingly, as if his response was simple common sense, and turned around. " I need to finish getting ready. You really should be going, before you put another hole in my roof and I decide to press charges." He shooed him away and exited quickly.
Dumbfounded, he took off and went back to the Scott's mansion. His mind was blank, except for one, taunting sentence, repeating itself over and over again. It's our one year anniversary.
. . .
Later that evening, Roxanne and Megamind were at their date, a wide open meadow, with music played from a radio. Their bottle of wine sat half-drank, and their food all but untouched. The pair weren't dancing, so much as gently swaying to the melody, never straying too far from their make-shift camp.
As Megamind pulled her out of a shallow dip, he whispered "I think Metro Man knows."
Amusement sparkled in her eyes. "I know. I knew he was going to be checking up on me, so I made him regret it." Roxanne bit her lip teasingly, just waiting for his curiosity to consume him.
He decided to humor her and asked anyways. "What song were you dancing to anyways?". With a mischievous smile, she whispered it in his ear.
"Oh Temptress! You make an excellent e-vil queen." He could have burst with pride. "You are most diabolical. That is a rather provocative song, is it not?" He complimented. "How did you know he would be peeking?"
"I asked Pinkey to keep tabs on his flight patterns, and a when she detected him near my building, I had it rigged to send a notification to my phone. From there, it was simply keeping it up until he saw. I knew his response would be... Ostentatious." She smirked victoriously.
"I'm glad you found a use for the little bot. We should team up some time; maybe I'd win for once. " He chuckled. "Metro Mahn's star reporter is much more mischievous than I thought."
"I know." She smiled as her kissed her. "I've already told you; the heroes were never really my type."
Yay! I'm really starting to get back in the swing of things. Be sure to watch for my next Megamind fic, Illusion. I think the rewrite is much better (and longer!) What do you guys think? I plan on rewriting the entire trilogy of connecting fics, just to fix some grammar/rushed plot/OOC issues that have been slowly eating me. Thanks again, and let me know what you thought in the reviews :)