"It's really not that complicated," the red-head assassin began. "I've got red in my ledger and I'd like to wipe it out."
The way she spoke was so composed-so confident, that Loki immediately took the woman for a fool. There was no such thing as redemption. Once a sinner, always a sinner. Believing that one could change themselves for the better… hopeless. Loki knew. Loki knew it all too well. "I could have done it, Father!" He felt himself cringe at the very memory.
"Drakoff's daughter." Just keep digging deeper, he told himself as he reminded the woman of her sins. "Sao Paolo." Put her in her place! "The hospital fire…" Make her cower in fear and be at his mercy! "Barton told me everything." He had her now-her beloved Agent Barton had told him all he needed to know of Natasha Romanoff's past-of every crime, every sin she had committed. How easily she would fall apart in his hands knowing that he knew every deep, dark secret she kept hidden! "Your ledger is dripping- it's gushing red and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything?" She was a fool in believing that saving Clint Barton will make a difference. The look within her terror-stricken eyes forced Loki to go deeper, deeper. "This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer! Pathetic!" he spat. He felt a rage building up within him as he continued. "You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate-to have your own code. Something that makes up for the horrors…" Loki had found himself in over his head. "I-I'm the monster parents tell their children about at night?!" The past was what hurt the most. "But they are part of you. And they will never go away." All the pain, all the suffering-it was bubbling over and Loki couldn't take it. This wasn't about Natasha Romanoff-This was about himself. They say pride always comes before the fall, and oh, how hard Loki fell! Oh, how the mighty fell! He beat his fist against the glass and a tear rolled down his cheek. His mouth opened as if to speak, but the words failed him. Instead of sputtering more mindless threats, he found himself looking the woman in the eyes with the most helpless look on his own face as more tears fell. "Tell me-how do you live with yourself? With the pain?"
Natasha's feigned look of terror quickly changed to concern. Was this part of Loki's interrogation, or whatever act he wanted to call this?
"Tell me!" he shouted, pleading with her.
Loki didn't seem to be playing around with her anymore. The desperation in his eyes left her speechless- it even made her question herself. How did she manage to carry on? "I just…" Natasha paused, searching for the right words to say to a god having a mental breakdown. "You learn to forgive yourself." Her gloved palm pressed against the glass over Loki's. "Find a reason to keep living."
He lowered his head in deep contemplation. A reason for living?
"You have Thor," she reminded him, trying to help him out. "He cares about you, right?"
Thor didn't understand. Thor didn't understand him at all. What Loki needed was someone who could truly comprehend exactly who he was, what he felt. Someone like… "You." His gentle green eyes met with hers. "There's you."
Natasha's brows furrowed in confusion. This was certainly an unexpected turn of events.
"In the end, only you would understand me best," he admitted. "Ms. Romanoff," he added quietly.
A smile played upon the corners of her lips. "How about you and I have each other's backs, then?"
"It is a deal," he replied, returning the smile.