Harry often sat by the veil where he had lost the dearest thing to him in the world. Sneaking into the room where he had battled for his own prophesy, where Sirius defended him, where Bellatrix ended all of the hope in his world. Every shining future he had thought of, every bit of happiness was attached to his godfather. The only thing he felt now was the sting of firewhisky, probably doing terrible things to his body that he couldn't even feel. On the first night he came back to this hollow spot he sat as far away from the cursed thing as possible. Nights thereafter he had eventually been every angle away from the thing that there was in the room, one step to the left every night. Watching it, thinking about him, crying, drinking. "What if Mum can see me right now?" he would think. "She would be so disappointed." Then he would drink some more, because if his mother was going to look down on him and weep from the heavens, he might as well be too fucked up to realize it. It never worked.

Five years later he sat leaning on the cold stone arch. The side of his head sat there unable to move, it must have been too full of firewhisky. He looked up into the veil that cast shadow on an abyss.

If Harry had known that directly on the other side staring back at him was the Sirius he was thinking about so desperately, he might have just reached out and pulled him back. Instead though, he sat and drank his firewhisky and wept. "Sirius I need you. You're everything to me. I can't be happy without you. Even if you came back and never fucked me, never kissed me, never loved me like I love you. I would still be able to hug you, and talk to you, and you would still smile…" He cried for hours there with his empty bottle. Sirius watched him on the other side crying just as hard, pressed as close against the barrier as he could get, as close to Harry as he could be.

Sirius had waited there forever it seemed. He could have just walked into the black hallway with the other trapped souls, but he waited for someone to come back for him. How could anyone know that he was there? Someone would have to take the chance and reach in while someone was there to reach back. Right when his hope had begun to fade Harry came back, far away and scared, but within sight. That was all he needed to stay there just to see his beautiful godson. Every time Harry looked up at the veil Sirius was sure that he would reach in any time now, but he never did. Hope had begun to fade again, but he struggled to decide if watching Harry cry every night was worth this endless waiting. Nothing ever changed. None of the pain or helplessness ever diminished. Harry was half sleeping, half fantasizing in his drunken stupor. He tried to feel those strong arms around him again, and feel his lips pressed against his godfather's. His mustache, his tattoos, his arms, everything Harry wanted.

Sirius sat just feet away from him, desperately wanting to kiss him and hold his godson close. Harry was so near but so hopelessly far away.

The next night Harry was not drunk at all. Well, not Hammered at least. He was directly in front of the veil. Just facing it like a man. The look on his face was angry and aggressive, but Sirius could tell that he was terrified. Harry wasn't a boy anymore. He was a man, a strong man who had won a war and lost everything dear to him in exchange. While Sirius was marveling at him from such a wonderfully close range, Harry did something he could not have imagined. He backed up three feet and ran straight into the death trap. Sirius was astounded but caught him so that he wouldn't go in too far.

The two bodies collided. It was so dark in the little room Harry couldn't see anything at all, but she could feel a body with arms and could hear him laughing and crying that the same time. Thinking fast he pushed the thing away and backed up "No Harry don't back up! You'll get lost!" Harry knew that voice. It was a warm raspy voice. He calmed down despite himself. Oh he missed that voice. It was like chocolate and whisky on ice. After drawing that allusion he realized it didn't make much sense but tried to keep his head. "Is this some kind of a trick?" He asked cautiously, but pretty sure of the answer. You don't just kill yourself and then get everything you want in less than three seconds. Life wasn't that good, death couldn't be. The man was still in between laughing and crying. "I don't know but I missed you so much" his voice was shaky. "I knew you would come back for me but I didn't think you would jump in with me. You could have just pulled me out, but I don't care I just want to hold you." Now Harry knew this was too good to be true and remained distant. "I could have just pulled you out huh? Well jolly, why didn't I think of that? Oh, BEAUSE YOU ARE DEAD! I'm not going to fall for this. I should have known killing myself would be painful but this trick is just nasty! Leave me alone!" Those words stung but Sirius was much too happy to see him to oblige. He crawled over to his godson and held the struggling boy as close as he could possibly make him and decided to never let go again. Harry's struggles weakened and then finally he melted into the hug that he missed so much.

The two men stood there in an embrace until Harry backed away and said "Are you really my Sirius? Do you promise this isn't a death trick? How are you here? Where are we?" He had learned to be suspicious from losing so much. "I waited for you for so long Harry. Watched you cry on the other side so many times. I waited. I stayed here instead of going into the darkness. Bellatrix's spell just barely missed me but I jumped back and landed here. I wanted you back so bad." Suddenly Sirius picked him up and they bumped into a wall. Their breath was shaking and then Sirius broke the boundary and kissed him. Harry had wanted this but never thought it was possible. Sirius was kissing him. It was his tongue letting itself into his mouth. Sirius' mustache, Sirius' roaming hands, his hips that Harry's legs were wrapped around, and oh, his dick that was getting hard on Harry's thigh. This was too perfect.

Sirius thought that Harry might reject him out of decency or some such other inhibitions but Harry was kissing him back. As his heart pounded he forgot about what it was to wait. He had waited and wanted for much too long. He wasn't going to wait anymore. In his heated frenzy he was taking off Harry's clothes and feeling the skin underneath. It was like heaven only dark. He saw with his hands. Harry's body was not too muscular but it was lean and scarred and beautiful.

Harry was in a state of bliss. He knew this was Sirius. This was how he moved when he was in a hurry. Suddenly there was a wet finger in his ass he gasped and leaned into it. Then there was another, the pressure was uncomfortable but he didn't ever want it to stop. Those are HIS fingers, he thought. The thought turned him on more than anything else, the knowledge that this was Sirius. He could see his face even without light and feel his shaky breath and OH! This was not a finger. "oh fuckjesusmerlinfuck oh!" it hurt but it was wonderful. Sirius made a sounds only a person who had been waiting for this intense pleasure for a long time could make. A thick sound of relaxation, intensity, and finality. This was it. What they had both been needing this whole time. Sirius knew it must be hurting but he couldn't help himself. He just kept thrusting until Harry's half uncomfortable sounds turned into "Oh fuck please... more! Harder! Faster! I need this." What they were doing was not quite making love and not quite animalistic but left them in a heap of panting and shaking on the stone ground. "Sirius, are we dead?" "Sort of. This room is in between. Anyone can pull us out or we can walk into death." "So if we stay, we stay forver? In this room?" "yep." "Ah, I'll think about it later"