DISCLAIMER: Someday…someday.…Okay, who am I kidding, I'll never own Harry Potter or How to Save a Life.
A/N: Snape/Lily with a bit of James/Lily, 'cause I love it. :D Enjoy! R&R
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
Severus approached Lily abruptly in the library, and hissed the four words she'd been dreading: "We need to talk."
Lily sent him a cold look, and mumbled, "No, Sev. There's nothing to talk about. Leave me alone."
He said nothing, just gazed at her, his black eyes showing more emotion than she'd ever seen, and she relented, turning to face him stiffly.
"Sit down," he implored, gesturing towards the two chairs across from each other at the table a few paces from them.
"No, this will be quick," she replied, still guarded.
"It's just a talk!" he snapped impatiently, and she glared at him, but sat on the edge of her chair.
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
He smiled shyly, the ghost of his old grin, but less free and more polite, as though addressing an acquaintance. Lily didn't return the gesture…not just yet. Instead, she kept her face carefully blank, a less friendly form of politeness.
He studied his hands for a moment, not knowing how to begin, how to abate the girl's lingering anger and revulsion with him. Lily stared out the window to her right. It was small and fogged up, not allowing much sunlight in, just enough to be able to see the faded titles on the old volumes lining the dusty shelves.
When Severus spoke, her head snapped up.
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
As he talked, Lily found herself growing more and more agitated.
He told her that she'd been the best thing in his life, which touched her for a moment, before he ruined it by lashing out at James, who'd recently become her boyfriend.
He told her, once she'd finished berating him harshly, that he was sorry, that they could still be friends, and that it didn't matter who else he hung out with.
With a sad, heavy sigh, Lily held her tongue, listening even though she'd heard it before and didn't buy it any more. She began to wonder why she'd gone along with him, letting him have his talk with her, but for some reason, she let him continue.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
While these thoughts were swirling in the redhead's mind, Severus was wondering how to put what he felt into words.
He wondered, vaguely, if it would have made a difference if he had slept outside the portrait hole on that night two years ago. Slept? No, he wouldn't have been able to.
But perhaps if he'd stayed up….He knew very well where he went wrong, but there were so many complications that he didn't know how to fix what he'd messed up.
Unfortunately, what he'd messed up happened to be his relationship with the best friend he'd ever had…whom he also happened to be in love with.
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God, he hears you
And pray to God, he hears you
Once he'd finished his speech, Lily looked up from the window, where her gaze had been focused the whole time.
She ached with the loss of his friendship, as she had every day for two years, but the ach was…intensified after hearing him plead with her for a good ten minutes.
You know best, Lily Evans, and you tell him that! she berated herself, and she took a deep breath, preparing to lay down what was wrong, why they simply couldn't be friends, for what she hoped would be the last time, to save both of them the agony.
She'd said these things a million times before, but he simply refused to hear her.
Lily sent up a silent prayer to God that he'd hear her, and listen.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Remembering that interaction on that beautiful spring day after their O., and the unforgivable word he'd uttered in the midst of all his bitterness, she began to speak, hesitantly at first, but her words growing in strength as she went along, and he heard.
He took in every word, but still…he failed to listen.
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you begin to wonder why you came
Somewhere in the middle of her talk, he began to raise his voice to be heard over her. Glancing at Madame Pince, who was glaring at Sev, Lily tried her last tactic: Lowering her own tones, and giving him his last choice, the last one she'd ever grant him.
He could go on the road he was now, he could keep hanging out with the "friends" he'd chosen, and eventually become a Death Eater - as Lily was sure he would if he chose to continue, he was up to his greasy hair in the Dark Arts - or he could sever all ties with them and the Dark magic he'd practiced, distance himself so much he would never be tempted to associate with it again.
Now, he had the choice of how to respond: Admit he was wrong…or say he'd never be the same and continue on as he had.
And if he did what Lily thought he would, she'd wonder why she'd even tried.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Severus quieted, but once she'd finished, he just gazed at her sadly. "Lils…." he shook his head.
Lily swallowed the tears and panic rising in her throat, and stood abruptly, wondering where she'd gone wrong: Was her influence, her friendship, the path that was so obviously right, not enough for him? Why? Why, when he clearly wanted to save their relationship, did he choose the way that was…evil. So evil.
She slung her bag over her shoulder, shrouding her face with her hair so that he couldn't see the pearly tears gliding gently down her pale cheeks, praying he wouldn't end up getting himself killed.
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
Severus stared after her helplessly, wondering, for the thousandth time, whether his choice was right, knowing, somewhere, that it could hurt more than just him.
He knew she was crying, and that killed him, but he didn't have her strength, her courage, the ability to pull out of Dark path he was so far along on.
How to save a life
A/N: Love it? Hate it? Should I really stop doing songfics? :D Review and tell me!
~PhoenixFlameGinny67