The Sarcastic Misadventures of pissed off Charizard
The Sarcastic Misadventures of pissed off Charizard
By: Cutman99
Prologue
My name is… was Charizard, but now my trainer, Gaylord, decided that a much better name for me would be Awesome Guy… LIKE HELL!! Anyways, ever since he captured me while I was sleeping, my life has just been Hell from then on out! Every day it's always the same routine! He sends me out, I take him somewhere, he acts too happy to not be on drugs, flirts with and sexually harasses me because he's a Pokephile, calls me back into my pokeball and never shuts the hell up or puts me to practical use! The weirdest thing is, I'm the only Pokemon he owns that has a problem with what he does to us. The rest of his pokemon don't mind so much, in fact they love it. The stupid nicknames, the flirting, all of it! Especially Gardevoir and Lopunny! Or should I say Beautiful Broad and Sexy Beast? Each day I hope that either he dies, or I die. Either way, I welcome it with open arms at this point! Also it's a good thing he can't understand me, otherwise I wouldn't be the one who's messed up if you catch my drift! I tell you, my life sucks, and it has continued to suck to this day!
1
Sweet Release
I sighed as I was sent out of my pokeball and said, " It's 3:00 in the morning! What the bleep do you want? Do I need to take you some where? Do you want me to light your bong?" My Trainer, Gaylord, flicked his wrist in an oh-so-gay fashion and said, "I'm setting you free pal!"
"You're what?" I said with a sense of disbelief. Gaylord the sighed and said 'I know this may be hard to accept but…"
"Not really!" I interrupted, like it mattered though. He can't understand a thing I say. "I've found…" he continued, "Someone else." He said as he sent out a Salamence. "What's up baby?" Said the Salamence. (Or Radical Dude as Gaylord called him.)
"Oh no, He's replacing me!" I said sarcastically. "I'm so heartbroken." Gaylord then looked at me sympathetically and said "I just think that this is what's best for the both of us."
I obsessively agreed with him. My mind teeming with high hopes for freedom from his oppression! "I'm sorry Awesome Guy..." said Gaylord "It's over between us."
"Yes!" " It's Very tragic!" I said sarcastically, "Now I need to be in a volcano region so if you could just…" Too late, he was already flying away. "Sure!" I said sarcastically, "Don't worry! I can totally survive in this forest environment! I don't need to be in a hot area! A fire type will do just fine with a forest!" The truth is, I didn't need to be in a high temperature environment to survive. It just would've been convenient that's all! I then lay down just outside the forest where he left me, called him a prick, and then went to sleep. Little did I know that in the morning, My life would never be the same.