I watch the blood flowing from my wounds, my sight blurred by my tears.
My life is just a vortex of horrors and sadness. Was it my destiny? Since I was born, it was written because of that prophecy. But was it really necessary to have that much of horrors?
I sob and slide my blade against my skin, again.
My arms are as much covered with blood as my shaking hands. My face is drowning under my tears.
The others think I'm courageous, brave, strong. But they're wrong. I am weak.
"Hazel are you the-...Hazel?!"
I hear someone, a boy, running towards me but I ignore him, too occupied by my crying.
The person takes my knife with shaking hands. I'm too weak to resist him.
"Hazel, don't do that." he murmurs gently.
I turn my head, meeting the grey gaze of Draco Malfoy, my ex.
"Go away." I mumble.
He takes my hand and leads me to the sink. He makes the water flow and starts cleaning my wounds frenetically.
I wince when the water meets my arms.
After cleaning my arms, he takes out his wand and points it to my arms. When he's about to open his mouth to heal me, I withdraw my arms.
"Hazel, let me heal you." he demands me with a soothing voice.
I shake my head. I won't let him do that.
"Why?"
I bite my lip.
"Why what?" I ask, my voice croaking.
"Why won't you let me heal you?"
"I don't want you to throw away my work."
He sighs and shakes his head.
"Hazel, it won't solve your problems."
I frown.
"I know that! Do you think I'm stupid?!"
"Of course not."
I sigh, resigned.
"I did that too, when I was younger." he confesses.
I lift my head.
"Really?"
"Yes."
"How did you do to stop?"
He smiles at me, lovingly, causing my heart to beat faster. It's been so long since he smiled at me like this. But it's normal, I broke up with him, after all.
"I met you."
I blush. He takes my hands in his and my heart races.
No.
I can't forget what he did.
I remove my hands from his and back up.
"Go away, Draco. I don't want to talk to a traitor I don't even know."
He frowns.
"I'm not a traitor." he mutters.
"So, how do you call people like you who join Voldemort?"
He takes a deep shaky breath.
"I didn't have a choice."
"No choice?! Liar! You always had a choice but you chose the wrong one. It's your fault I'm in depression and I'm doing...this!" I scream.
"Stop it! It's not my fault and you know it!"
"Yes, it is your fault! I lost everything I loved! First my family then my friends... I saw people die by my fault! And...and now Draco is dead."
He frowns.
"Dead? I'm not dead!" he retorts.
"For me, you are. You disappeared the day you became a deatheater."
"I couldn't leave my family behind. I never wanted that, Hazel. I didn't want to become a deatheater. I didn't want to kill Dumbledore, I actually didn't do it. I became a deatheater to stay with my family."
He starts crying. I soften up, seeing him that broken and fragile. If I had been at his place, maybe I would have done the same.
"But now, I lost the most important thing in my life." he whispers.
My eyes well up with tears.
I can't hate him, I can't ignore him, I can't stay away from him anymore.
I hug him.
"I'm sorry, Draco. I'm so sorry."
He clings to me as if his life depended on it.
"I love you more than anything in this world." he murmurs.
I lift my head and kiss him, for the first time since I discovered the dark mark on his arm, five months ago. He kisses me back, passionetely, desperately.
I let go of him and look at him in the eyes. His beautiful grey eyes.
"What do we do, now?" I ask.
He thinks for a moment.
"We can keep our relationship hidden." he offers.
I shake my head.
"No, I can't do that."
He sighs.
"We have to, Hazel. A deatheater with a member of the Order, and worse, one of the Potter siblings, it's not good at all. It's dangerous."
I watch him for a long moment.
Can I do that for him? My reason tells me no but my heart tells me otherwise. I'm fed up of this relationship where everyone steps in to prevent us to be with each other.
"It leaves us with just one last solution." I say. "I have to become a deatheater."