Stuck in a Bank Heist
Klaus and Jeff were by the computer, laughing at a YouTube video.
"Man!" Jeff said after the video ended. "These dumbest tweets are pretty dumb. I may be naïve at times, but even I'm smarter then these people!"
"I know, right?" Klaus put in. "And there's another one."
"33?"
"Ja, there's just too many stupidity in the world. It just goes to show you that you can't fix stupid."
"I guess. Play it; play it!"
"Okay, relax. This is the latest." Klaus clicked on the video. As the screen got prepared, the door opened. Both of them looked up, and saw the rest of the family who just came back from the mall. They had a lot of bags, and Roger was in disguise.
"Pause it." Jeff told Klaus who did just that. Jeff ran up to his wife. "Hayley! You just have to see these videos!"
"Jeff!" Hayley responded. "It's going to have to wait. I have all of these bags to bring in. Roger brought thirty outfits from the mall."
"Okay, but you have to later. They're fudging hilarious! They're some of the stupidest tweets people put on the Internet. Things like 'how long does it take for a moose to become a deer?" Hayley just looked at him.
"What?! That doesn't make any sense."
"I know, right?"
"Ooh, tell her about the serious question!" Klaus butted in.
"That doesn't sound dumb." Steve said. Klaus looked at him.
"There's more, Steve, and trust me, it's dumb."
"What is it then?"
"They asked 'why are unicorns extinct?' Jeff said.
"Was it from a five-year old girl?" Steve wanted to know. "Everyone knows unicorns aren't real."
` "Apparently this person didn't know." Steve got excited, and dropped the bag he was carrying.
"Sounds like my kind of series!" He said, running over to the computer.
"Steve!" Stan scolded. "Not now!" Steve sighed.
"Fine!" He walked back, and picked up the bag. He looked at Roger. "Roger, do you know this series?"
"Yeah." The disguised alien answered. "I watched all 33."
"There are 33 videos?"
"Yeah, shocking how dumb the human race can be."
"And I thought that kids and people with serious mental issues were stupid." Stan said.
"No, Stan." Francine told him. "Anybody can be stupid."
"I don't know how these people feel about this person exposing their tweets like this." Hayley mentioned.
"I'm sure these people are laughing just like the other viewers." Steve told his sister. Klaus looked at Jeff when Steve raced out of the room.
"After this, I'll show you the Strangest Google Auto Completes." The fish said to him. Jeff was confused.
"What are Google Auto Completes?" He questioned.
"When you type in something on Google like a question, they try to finished the question for you."
"Oh! Like 'why is there a Pakistanian on My Couch?"
"Ja, but surprisingly, that's not in any of these."
"But, Dad, I don't want to work for it!" Steve complained to Stan later. "That'll take too long. I want the Nintendo Switch now!"
"Steve!" Stan scolded his son. "You're being a whiney brat! Don't do this to me."
"But, I want to play The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, and it's only on the Switch."
"Then, why don't you go to Toshi's to play it over there? He's Japanese, so I'm sure he was one of the first ones to get it."
"But then I'll have to go to his house every time I want to play."
"And what's wrong with that?"
"It'll just be easer if I have my own copy."
"Look Steve, I'm not made of money. I have to earn it. That's why I work, to provide for us all."
"Can't I take the money from your bank account, and pay you later?"
"No, and don't ask your mom for money either, or your sister, or Jeff."
"But…"
"No, Steve. You can't get our money, and that's final."
"But…" But, Stan didn't want to hear it. He left. Steve sighed.
"I can get you the money." Roger, who overheard, said. Steve looked at him.
"Really? How? Wait, will I like it?"
"Relax. I can give the money to you from my bank account."
"You have a bank account?"
"Of course. How do you think I can afford all of my disguises? Oh, and before you say it, there's no catch. I'm just being the generous alien that I am. Now, how much is this Nintendo Switch?"
"$300."
"Okay, just let me get my Monty Moneybags disguise, and then we can go to the bank."
"Okay. Thanks Roger." Roger ruffled Steve's hair.
"No problem, kiddo." He left.
"Where are you going, Steve?" Klaus asked from his bowl on the end table when he saw Steve by the front door.
"Roger is withdrawing his money from the bank so I can get a Nintendo Switch." He answered.
"Do your parents know?"
"No, and you better not tell them."
"I could suggest you turning me back into human form in exchange for not telling, but we both know that won't happen. But, you could give me a fish tank, and castle. No, not a castle, a fortress."
"Yeah, probably not." Roger then came down the stairs in his disguise. He had a ginger wig, a ginger mustache, and money sign shaped earrings. He looked at Klaus.
"You better not tell, Fish."
"Ja, ja, I got it from Steve."
"Good." He and Steve left.
Twenty minutes later, they were at the Langley Falls National Bank.
"You know," Steve said to Roger as they walked to the entrance. "When they put self-driving cars on the market, I don't need to learn to drive.
"I swear." Roger stated. "All of these modern technology is making you humans lazier and lazier."
"But, you love these modern technology."
"Heck yeah! But they are still making you humans lazy."
"But, it'll help people like the author who has a disability and others like her, and other people who can't drive. Plus, there will be fewer accidents."
"Fair enough, but it'll make other people lazy."
"That's fair."
As soon as Roger and Steve entered the bank, they heard a familiar French accent. Steve ran to where the voice was coming from. Roger noticed this.
"Steve! We need to stand in line!" He went after him.
Steve was watching the animated Disney's Beauty and the Beast with the other kids in a corner. It was the 'Be our Guest' segment.
"Steve, we need to go." Roger told him.
"After this." Steve said to him. "I love 'Be Our Guest.' On second thought, you can just wait in line, and get the money yourself."
"What? This is not Legoland. Besides, you wanted the Switch."
"Okay, after this. Now, shhh, the song's starting." Roger sighed, and he paid attention to the TV.
"It's good that kids of today are watching the original classics." Steve said as he and Roger went to their line. "And not just watching the remakes."
"Yeah, sure." Roger spoke as they now waited in line.
"I mean, I liked the remake, but the 1991 film of Beauty and the Beast will always stay a favorite of mine, despite the problems it has. Belle had a better singing voice, and the characters were more lovable and charming, escpcially Lumiere and Cogsworth."
"And that wardrobe scared the poop out of me in live action." Roger added. "She didn't even have eyes!"
"Yeah, me too. I liked that they expanded it, added new stuff. That Evermore song was really good. I knew when I saw that the original songwriter from the first one and the Broadway play, it was going to be good. And in this one Chip was the only child. Mrs. Potts didn't need more kids if Chip was the only one they focused on really. Besides aiding her in the fighting scene, it was a waste."
"Yeah, I agree with you."
"And knowing that the Beast and the objects turning back into thair human forms at the end makes me feel bad for Klaus."
"Steve, don't go soft on me. You know better then that." Suddenly, the doors burst open. There stood a dozen men in ski masks. The first man fired a gun. Everyone looked, and screamed. Scared kids ran to their parents.
"Okay, this is a bank robbery!" The first bank robber shouted. "No one leaves here until we get all of the money in the bank." The henchmen went to cash registers, and told the cashiers to open them up.
"Hey!" One robber said by the TV. "Beauty and the Beast; I love it! And looks likes it's the scene where Belle gets attacked by wolves."
"Jake!" The boss scolded him. "Turn that infernal thing off, and do your job!"
"But, Boss…"
"Turn it off!" Jake sighed.
"Fine!" He turned it off, and went to a cash register.
"Wow!" Roger observed. "And I thought that this would be a normal everyday boring trip to the bank. Boy, was I wrong!"
"Roger!" Steve said to him, panicking. "This is bad; they have guns. They can kill us all."
"Relax, Steve. They'll only kill us if the bank doesn't give them the money."
"But Roger, they want all of the money! That means we won't get any out, and I won't get my Switch." Roger was now mad, and was determined.
"Not on my watch!" He walked away.
"Roger, what are you doing? Come back here!"
"Hey!" Roger said to the first robber. He looked at him.
"What do you want?" He demanded to know.
"You can have these other people's money, but not ours!"
"Oh yeah, and what makes you so special?"
"My friend needs the money to buy a game system, and I need it for whatever I need it for in the future."
"Hey!" A young teen spoke up. "My collage money is in the bank!"
"And I need it for my husband's surgery!" A woman added.
"Well, you're not getting any money, and that's that!" The man said to Roger. "So I suggest you get in line like the rest of them, and let us take the money."
"And what if I refuse?"
"Then that's the last mistake you'll ever make." He pointed his gun at Roger. Roger put his hands up.
"Okay, okay, sheech, you don't have to kiIl me. I'm leaving." He went back to Steve. "Looks like we're staying here, Steve."
"Are you going to come up with a plan to get us out of here?"
"If I come up with one, I'll tell you, but until then, we're hostages at a bank heist." Steve sighed.
"Great; just what I needed." He then came up with something, and pulled out his phone. "I'll call 911."
"Wonder why they haven't compensated our phones yet. They must be dumb."
"Oh yeah." The head robber spoke up. "And everybody give us your phones. No one will call the police." People started giving him and his henchmen their phones, which they collected in a bin.
"Yikes!" Steve observed. "I better be quick." He called the police. But before he made the full call, he had to place his phone into the bin. Steve looked at Roger. "You think they're coming?"
"Well, they have caller id, so they know where to go." The alien answered. "Plus, other people might have called before they had to give their phones to them. They should have taken our phones sooner. They are still dumb for not doing it as soon as they burst in."
They then heard police sirens in the distance, and people cheered.
"The police!" Steve said with joy. "They heard; they're coming!"
"I'll take care of this." One of the henchmen said, and left the bank.
"Where is he going? Is he turning him and his buddies in?"
"If he is," Roger told him. "He'll be backstabbing his team. His boss won't like that." They then heard gunshots.
A few minutes later, he came back.
"I killed them all." He said. "They won't be our problem anymore." Everyone but the bad guys panicked again. Kids began to cry.
"Man!" Roger observed. "Killing all the police so they can get the job done? These are some smart criminals! I'll take back what I said for calling them dumb."
At the Smith household, Hayley was watching the news as Klaus was still on the laptop. The news showed the bank heist.
"Oh my gosh!" She breathed. "That's the bank that Roger and Steve went to. I better call Dad, and tell him!" She stood up.
"Why tell your Dad?" Klaus asked. "Why not go yourself?"
"I don't think I could be much use. Dad's in the CIA. He'll be more helpful."
"Oh, ja, because he has a gun, und that solves everything!"
"Klaus; being stuck in a bank robbery is super dangerous. They could die!"
"So could Stan. Just because he's a professional doesn't mean he can escape death."
"I know that." She dialed her dad, and called her mom and Jeff. She put the phone by her ear. Klaus sighed.
"I would just let them die. That'll be punishment for going to the bank without permission."
"Sir," Stan said after he got the call from Hayley. "I have to go. Steve and his long lost uncle are being held hostages at a bank robbery."
"Stan," Bullock said to him. "I can't let you go. You have work to do. The police will handle this."
"But, you let me go when Hayley's elementary school was under attack by that sick man."
"Your daughter was younger back then. Both of your kids are older now. They can handle things better."
"That's BS! They're still babies to Francine and I, and they're always be no matter what they say. If I didn't show up at Hayley's school when I did, she would've been dead."
"Sorry, Stan. But I can't let my workers leave whenever these things happen. How do I know they're telling the truth?"
"How do you know they're not? Why would they lie about something like that?"
"Sorry Stan, but I have to make you stay." Stan sighed.
"Well, sorry sir, but I have to disobey you." And with that, he ran off.
"STAN!" Bullock sighed, but didn't go after him.
"Ugh!" Roger complained. "How long can it take to rob a bank? That's it; I'm taking action." He was about to go, when Steve spoke to him.
"Where are you going?" He wanted to know. Roger turned to him.
"I'm going to see why it's taking so long."
"I'll go with you."
Roger tapped on the shoulder of one of the henchmen.
"Hey!" He said to him. "What's taking you guys so long?" The robber looked at him, irritated.
"It'll take as long as it takes." He answered. "They're figuring out how to open one of the safes."
"The bank people don't know the combination?" Steve questioned. "Shouldn't they have all of the combinations on record?" The robber looked at him.
"They're either very dumb, or pretending to not know it so we don't get our money."
"Oh, that makes sense." The robber looked back at Roger.
"Now you guys go back to where you were at."
"Or what?" The alien asked. "You'll kill us?" The robber nodded.
"Precisely!" They then heard a gunshot. People screamed, and looked at the head robber who fired his pistol into the ceiling.
"Listen here!" He began. "If we don't get the money we need, we'll start killing people." He looked at a little girl, and pulled her close. Steve realized it was the girl who was sitting in front of him watching the movie. The girl was scared, and had tears in her eyes. People gasped as he held the gun close to the girl's head.
"Rebecca!" Someone shouted, presumably the dad.
"Starting with this cutie!"
"Daddy!" The terrified girl cried. "Please; don't make him do it!"
"Oh don't worry Rebecca." The robber told her. "I won't shoot, but it depends on the bank and your daddy."
"Daddy and the bank people; just do it! I don't want to die. I want to turn seven tomorrow."
"Yes, listen to your daughter, Dad and bank people. Otherwise, she won't see her seventh birthday."
"She's opening the bank, Boss." The henchmen closet to the backroom told him. "We'll get our money soon." The head robber sneered.
"I thought they needed a little persuasion."
"Are you going to let me go now?" Rebecca asked with hope.
"Afraid not sweetheart, not until I get the money."
The henchmen brought out bags of money a few minutes later. One of the employees was with him.
"There." She said. "That's all of the money in the bank. Now, please, let the little girl go."
"Wait, not yet." The boss told her. "We need to count all of the money to make sure you're not lying." Steve groaned.
"Come on!" He complained. "Just let the girl go! You have your money."
"Yeah!" Rebecca agreed. "Let me go."
"Not yet.' The robber told her. He looked at his henchmen. "Count the money." The henchmen started taking the cash out, and began counting them. Steve leaned towards Roger.
"You have a plan yet Roger?" He asked.
"Yes, but it might be risky."
"Whatever it is, I'll do it." Roger whispered to him. "What?! Are you crazy? I want a Nintendo Switch, but not like this. I think I'll get a job, and earn it like my Dad wants me too."
"But, you said you'd do it. Pus, I told you it was risky."
"But…"
"Steve! Think of it this way, the robbers are Bowser, goombas, shy guys, koopa troopas, or whatever. Mario is you, and the Nintendo Switch is Princess Peach."
"Why not The Legend of Zelda characters? That's the game I want."
"Steve; focus! Now, do you want that Nintendo system or not?" Steve nodded.
"I do; sorry." He sighed. "Fine; I'll do it!"
"That's the spirit!"
"For the Nintendo Switch."
"What? I can't hear you?"
"For the Nintendo Switch." He pretended to have wax in his ears.
"I must have wax in my ears. Louder."
"FOR THE NINTENDO SWITCH!" Roger smiled, and slapped Steve's back in encouragement.
"You get 'em tiger!" Steve ran to the head robber.
"Hey!" The robber looked at him. Steve jumped and lunged at him. When he landed on him, he covered his eyes with his hands. The robber tried to get him off, letting go of Rebecca. Rebecca ran to her parents who comforted her.
"Hey!" The bad guy screamed. "Let me go, kid!" His henchmen were about to shoot when Roger spoke to them. "If you shoot, you might kill your boss by mistake, and I don't think you want that on your conscience." They realized he was right, and put their guns away. Roger turned to Steve. "Take his gun Steve!"
"I'm trying!" The fourteen year old said to him. "But, it's hard when he's trying to shake me off like this." Roger groaned.
"Oh boy!" Roger ran to the robber, jumped, took the gun, and ran back. "Okay, Steve, I have the gun." The henchmen gasped, and fired and fired at him. He dodged every one of them.
The crook shook Steve off. Steve screamed as he hit the floor. His gasses fell off. "Oh, crap! Now I have to find my glasses like Velma from Scooby Doo!" He felt the floor for his glasses. Rebecca went to them, and picked them up. She went to him, and gave them to him. Steve smiled.
"Thanks." He put them on. Rebecca smiled back.
"You're welcome." She went back to her parents. Steve stood up. Roger pointed the gun at the boss after the henchmen cursed as they ran out of bullets.
"Ha! Now what? All of your henchmen has ran out of bullets at the same time, which is kind of odd, but oh well!" The boss sneered at him. He looked at his henchmen.
"Did you count all of the money?"
"Sorry, boss." One of his henchmen apologized. "I was too busy firing my gun that I lost count." He looked at another Jake.
"Jake?" Jake shook his head. "Drake?" Drake shook his head too. "Rob? Anybody?" All of the henchmen shook their heads, and apoligized. The head robber sneered. "Never mind then. We have lots of money already; let's leave."
They were about to go, when the doors burst open. Police ran in with guns, as well as Stan.
"Dad?" Steve questioned.
"Put your hands up!" An officer shouted. "You are all under arrest!" One of the henchmen looked at Drake.
"I thought you killed all of the police." He said.
"I did." Drake admitted.
"Then why are they here?" The head robber wanted to know. Drake shrugged.
"Must have called backup from another city or something."
"Enough!" An officer roared. "Put down your guns, and put your hands up now!" They all did just that. The head crook looked at Stan.
"And who are you?" He asked. "I see you lack a police uniform."
"I'm Stan Smith." Stan replied. "CIA."
"Oh, is that so?" He walked towards Steve. "And is this your son?" Stan didn't answer, so the boss grabbed Steve, and pulled him close.
"I suggest you not take another step forward, otherwise I'll kilI your son."
"How?" Roger asked. "I stole your gun." The boss looked at him.
"I have other methods I can use."
"Well, ether way, I'll kill you."
Nobody moved for a bit, then Roger fired the gun. The bullet went into the boss's leg. The boss screamed, releasing Steve. Steve ran to Stan.
"Dad!" He shouted.
"Son!" Stan said back, embracing him in a hug. The boss crook jumped up and down on one foot in pain.
"Ow!" He yelled. "Why did you do that? I didn't do anything to him yet!"
"True." Roger agreed. "But something had to happen to keep the story going." The officers began cuffing the crooks, and recited the Miranda rights to them. An officer went to the head crook, and cuffed him as well. The crook sneered at him. As the officer was telling him his rights, he was about to run off, when the officer tasered him. He fell to the floor. He then took him away. Another officer went to Roger, and outstretched his hand.
"The gun, please, Sir." Roger just looked at him.
"What?" He asked. "No. I may need this. This is my gun now."
"Roger!" Steve scolded him. "They need it for evidence at the trial." Roger groaned.
"What evidence? We were being held as hostages at a bank robbery."
"Roger!" This time, it was Stan. Roger sighed.
"Fine!" He handed the gun to him. "But my fingerprints are on it, so I don't think it'll be much use."
"We'll find a way." He thanked him, and left.
"Dad?" Steve questioned his father. "How did you know we were here?"
"Hayley called." Stan answered. "She also saw the bank robbery on the news." Steve was confused.
"How? They took away my phone before they could get the story." Stan shrugged.
"Maybe someone else called, and told them." Steve saw Rebecca and her parents leave. He saw her winking at him, and Steve now knew what had happened, but didn't know how a little girl called, and how they believed her. "Never mind that now, son. As long as you are safe. Now, let's go home."
"But, we didn't get our money. That's the whole reason why we came." Stan sighed.
"Son,"
"No, I got this." Roger interrupted. He looked at Steve. "Steve, just earn the money the old fashioned way." Steve was about to complain, but sighed.
"Fine!" Stan was impressed with Roger.
"Steve!" Francine cried out to him as soon as they entered the house. She ran up to hug him. "Thank goodness you're safe!"
"So, how are you holding up, kind?" Klaus asked him. Steve eyed him.
"You told!" Klaus smiled.
"You're welcome for me snitching, und saving your lives."
Steve earned money, and got the Nintendo Switch, and the Breath of the Wild. Although it was hard for him, in the end, it was well worth it.