Author's Note: Just a drabble… I was too tired to actually make this into a one-shot.
Anyway, here is an inside look on Kirihara's thoughts about his matches.
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis or any of its characters! Erika is mine~
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Kirihara Akaya panted heavily. He was alone inside the Rikkai boys' tennis team locker room, as all the others had left and he had promised Yukimura-buchou he would lock up properly.
His mind was busy and his heart was racing abnormally, as he sat down on the benches. He thought back to the Nationals Finals match with the Inui-Kaidoh pair. Kirihara felt that strong pang in his heart again, as he remembered Inui's blooded body and Kaidoh's bitter tears for his senpai.
The junior ace was like this every time he destroyed an opponent. He did not know what the hell possessed him during those matches but one thing was for sure, all the guilt and hurt come running to his mind and his heart whenever that thing left him, and his sane mind finally saw the chaos he caused.
Kirihara remembered every face that stared back at him as the referee declared that Seigaku forfeited. He could trace every emotion on their disgusted and terrified faces. They weren't saying anything, yet Kirihara knew just what was running in their minds. He knew they thought he was a monster. A real life monster. Hell, even his senpais knew just how dangerous he was, when he went into Bloodshot Mode.
"DAMN!"
He stood up and punched his steel locker, bending it in the process. The pain rising in his knuckles did not cover the hurt in his heart. Kirihara's innocent mind did not want to injure his opponents; he never wanted to make them bleed. And yet, that thing always clouded his mind, always taking over his body once his mind set in victory-hunger mode. That thing always wanted blood, and it got its way. And Kirihara was the one to blame when all the chaos was over.
The ace did not want to explain this to anyone, no one would believe him. No one would believe that he wasn't really responsible; it was that thing's fault! How could they believe him, anyway? After seeing him injure the admirable captain that is Tachibana Kippei and hurting the angel that is Fuji Syuusuke?
Kirihara sat down again, his head bent in frustration. He felt tears stinging his eyes.
I am not a devil… I'm not a monster… I didn't want to hurt Tachibana-san or Fuji-san…
His mind traced back to the faces of the judging audience, their eyes crying out their fear and disgust towards him.
Please don't look at me like that… It wasn't me… I swear.
Kirihara remembered the phrases people always muttered around him.
"That's the devil… Rikkai's monster. I bet he can even kill someone on court."
"What a terrifying guy! Don't stare at him, he might get angry! And we'd end up like Tachibana-san!"
The junior closed his eyes and felt his hot tears running down his cheeks.
Please, I'm not going to hurt you…
Suddenly, a voice shook him from his thoughts.
"Bakaya… Didn't I tell you to come to me when you feel like crying?"
Kirihara turned to the doorway… and for the first time that day, he smiled truly. His eyes landed on the smiling girl in front of him.
Yes… Someone believes me.
The girl walked over to him, and sat down. Kirihara leaned on her shoulder, his head resting on the crook of her neck. As the girl intertwined her fingers with his, he let loose all his feelings and sobbed.
Yes, someone still believes in me.
"Akaya, you idiot. You're a man and yet you cry like a little girl." She teased, leaning her head on top of Kirihara's.
The boy smiled ever so slightly. "Shut up, Erika. I hate you sometimes, you know?"
"Nope, I don't know. Because you always love me." She said, as Kirihara sat up straight and stared at her.
"And I always will." Kirihara said, before placing his lips on hers for a gentle yet much needed kiss.
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Author's Note: Review please! 3