The Real Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
Publishing Assistant's Note: During the writing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Princess Rowling was put under a dramatic amount of pressure to change the plotline of the story due to the fact that the Queen's little daughter, also Princess Rowling's sister, Harry (whom the story's main character was named after) cried at the original ending that had been written saying that it was "too mean". Hence, near the end of chapter 13, Princess Rowling proceeded to take steps to change the story to suit the tastes of a younger and much stupider audience. As Princess Rowling's self-proclaimed confidant and unofficial manager, I've taken the pains to rewrite the book as it should have been written starting from the point of divergence and how Princess Rowling originally would have wanted it despite how much she may deny this fact if ever confronted with this version of the story. Allow me to say that she has been well compensated with GBPs to say things such as "I never wrote a version like that", "That's a fake, obviously distinguishable from the rudimentary writing style.", or "Who the bloodly hell is using my characters? I'll cast a forbidden curse on their bloody arse." Allow me to note that these are some but not all of the wide range of comments she is allowed utilize if ever brought to comment on this "true" version. Despite what Princess Rowling may say deep inside she is thankful to me for allowing her original intentions on how the 7th novel in the sequel should have ended. I'd also like to mention that Princess Rowling had made frames for novels to follow up on Harry's life even after the 7th spanning from the time he first shagged Ginny to the time he last shagged Ginny, and finally to the time he could shag no more. This plan however was put to a halt by the Queen herself (bless her soul) due to her discovery that her daughter's series was actually a precociously thought out plan to form the foundations for the "New Church of Rowling" which would overthrow the Great British Empire and form a new society composed of lonely children dressed in long robes wildly waving stripped tree branches while running throughout the city chanting gibberish like a French rapper and proceeding to commit suicide by jumping off of buildings with cleaning utensils. However this is going on a bit of a tangent from the original intention of this side-note. Anyway the name of this novel follows through tradition of not pertaining to the actual plot itself, such as "The Chamber of Secrets." I certainly did not find any chamber that held any tactful secrets while reading the novel. As far as I recall, Harry just ran into an annoying specter and an overgrown garden snake at the age of twelve. Well I've drawled on long enough, without much further ado about nothing; I present the original and unaltered version of HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS!
Note: (incase your IQ persists to a number below three digits (or even two for that matter), I'd like to take this time to state that I'm not being completely undishonest. If you would like to actually take the time to notify Princess Rowling of this version, I'd like to also take the time to beg you not to do so. The princess is quite busy with her chores such as the writing of her new novel "Hogwarts: Why You Can't Get in and Why We Don't Care" and contributing to her Harry Potter's Pick-Up lines Pamphlet with witty quotes from the protagonist himself such as "We may not be in Prof. Flitwick's class, but you're still charming." Or "When I'm in need of summoning a patronus, I simply think of you." Anyway, back on subject although I've stated multiple times throughout, I'd like to say once again that this is not the undishonestly true version and that things in this version are only as valid as my standing as Princess Rowling's self-proclaimed confidant goes. I'd also like to thank everyone whom I stole ideas from (laugh). Plagiarize, plagiarize, and let no one else's work escape your eyes! If they find out I'll publish first! Enjoy.