pairing: Serena/Blair
rating: K or T
disclaimer: i don't own them
Note: hi welcome to my first gossip girl & my first femslash fanfiction ever. So please don't be too hard. Also excuse my grammar but English isn't my first language and i have no beta reader. I am still at season 3 so idk if it's the best idea to start writing right now but let's give it a try.
Summary: that's a sickfic. Blair is ill and Serena tries her best to help her get better. They end up realizing how they really feel about each other. (I suck at summaries but please give it a try)
Blaire sneezed into a tissue, blowing her nose and sighed. She got a terrible cold. In addition she had a headache, her nose was running and she needs to cough every other minute.
She wished Serena would be here. She hated to admit it because everyone think that she's so strong. And she is. She is the queen. She is queen Blair.
But sometimes even the queen needs someone. And Blair's someone is Serena.
She doesn't know when exactly she fell in love with S and how it happened. All she knows is that she's heads over heels in love with her.
Even though she keeps telling herself that she isn't. Because she's straight. She doesn't love girls. But she loves Serena.
With these thoughts she fell back into a restless sleep.
"Hey Sleeping beauty" , Serena plopped down onto her bed. The other girl stirred in her sleep and opened her eyes slowly. " oh damn it S! I was sleeping. " "I know" she laughed wholeheartedly which made B's heart skip a beat immediately.
Oh that laugh. Damn it why do i have to be in love with her. Why can't it be anyone else, why Serena. She's my damn best friend.
Serena's face turned serious again as soon as she heard Blaire cough again. The second time since she arrived only 5 mins ago. "Hey B, everything's alright?" Another cough. The shorter girl snapped back at her: "Do i look like i am okay?"
"Aw poor B. Come here" she said trying to hug the other girl closer to her body. Blair sent her a murderous glare and attempted to turn away from the blonde. But she just ignored the brunette and pulled her as close as possible.
Now they both laid in Blair's bed, Serena behind Blair, holding her and stroking her hair once in a while.
"You know you can just go home again" B sighed "No way B, you're my best friend. My sick best friend and i am here to take care of you. I love you i won't ever leave." S pulled her closer again. "I can take care of myself!" B snapped again. "Aw B you must feel pretty bad. You never snap at me like that." She pouted a little. "Sorry" she murmured back and breathed heavily. "Shh s'okay. I am here to make you feel better. Now go back to sleep i will make you some soup."
S pulled her arms back and sat up but before she even got a chance to stand up she got pulled back but two week arms. "Will you just ... lay with me?" B asked sheeply. "But B you need to eat something" their eyes met. "Call Dorota. I need you more than food" she shyly smiled at her best friend.
Serena gave her her typical Serena smile, that one she only used around Blair. It was her special Blair smile.
"You got mood swings today B" she laughed. Again. The Serena Van Der Woodsen laugh. The one Blair loves most.
"Well i am ill and if you don't come into bed with me right now you can leave" S smirked at Blair's outburst, murmured something about 'bossy' and got back under the comforters.
"Oh Blair i love you too" She put her chin on B's shoulder and her hands around her torso. "Go to sleep, then," she said, brushing a hand across B's forehead before returning it to her stomach. "I'll be here when you wake up."
Serena watched her sleeping. Secretly yearning to touch her. What would it be like to kiss her? To press her lips against Blair's. To hug and kiss her everyday. And not only friendship like.
She finally realized that she was really in love with Blair. But oh god she's her best friend. And she would never return her feelings. Never. She isn't even into girls. And she's Blair. Queen Blair. And Serena's only Serena. No one special like Blair.
Time passed as they laid like that. Serena spooning Blair and Blair's black pressed against Serena. Another cough. Another sneeze. Serena got a little worried and touched the brunettes forehead. She was a little warm but not warm enough to call a doctor. So she simply pulled her closer again and burried her nose in B's hair. Blair smelled so god.
S kept watching her, scared if she might turn away the sickness will get even worse, until she slowly opened her eyes again and beamed at her. "Hey S, you're still here" Blair's voice was hoarse and thick of sleep. "Hey again and of course i am silly, i promised i won't leave you" She gave B the warmest smile she could offer and kissed her hair. "You feeling any better? Want some soup?"
" Yeah you really helped and no thanks i am good" I really helped. B said I really helped.
Blair laid her head on Serena's chest to hear her heartbeat. It always calmed her. "S can i ask you something?"
"Of course B you can ask me anything"
"Why are you staying? I mean i got that part that we're best friends and stuff but i am ill and i am disgusting. My nose is running and i am shivering and sweating at the same time. So why would you stay? s'not like i can't look after myself"
"I know but i love you Blair." Love you Blair. "I love you too Serena, we're best friends."
S sighed dramatically and removed her hands from Blair and attempted to sit upright. B arched her eyebrow at her but didn't move, not wanting to do something wrong.
"But you know B. It's not like that.." her voice broke and S wanted to leave B's room asap. "You said you won't leave my side", B pulled her back and pulled her into one of her tightest hugs. "Tell me, i won't judge"
"I love you love you. Not like best friends should love each other and i know it's wrong, I know i shouldn't. Oh damn Blair Just look at yourself. You're the most beautiful person someone could ever meet. Sometimes it even hurts to look at you because you're so stunning but I can't look away. I just.. I love you B... and I know you don't love me because I am just Serena. It's just me and-" Blair cut her off by pulling her into a kiss.
Blair's hands drew Serena's body into hers, wrapping her into a hug. She could feel the blonde shiver and tense up but the tension was gone as soon as it came. They stopd like that and kissed for long moments. B made sure to put all of her desire, her love towards the blonde into the kiss.
They broke apart but stayed close, leaning onto each other and trying to catch their breathes. Blair could feel Serena's heart beating rapidly beneath her chest. For the millionth time today she knows that she loves Serena. Her serena.
Blair put her arms around the other girl once more, pulling her with her, into her bed. Once they were both back in bed she laid her head onto Serena's chest, listening to her heart beat. In that moment both of them knew how the other felt and they also knew that they wouldn't want anything to change. They wanted to lay there forever, into each other's arms. "You know... i lovelove you too. I think i always have and i always will. You're my best friend. We're sisters. You're my family. What is you is me. There's nothing you could ever say that would make me let go."
S pulled her closer so she could rest her chin on top of B's head. And just like that they fell asleep, together, into each other's arms. And just like that they knew that they belong together. And just like that Blair's cold was suddenly gone.
End