I've never been one for talkin' about myself and my feelings. Way I see it, those things are my concern, and no one else's. Isn't like anyone would really care to know anyway.

That's what I've always told myself. But things change sometimes, and no matter how much you want 'em to stay the same, sometimes you can't do a thing about it.

I'm talkin' about Tracey. The man was a soldier with Zoe and me, and we got along. We got each other through the war, and then went our separate ways. I never expected to see him again.

But life throws curves at you, you know? He came back, apparently dead, and me and Zoe were supposed to get his body back to his family. But he wasn't really dead. No, he was only drugged to make us and whoever else was watchin' think that. I didn't want to know what he'd done to get involved in organ traffickin'. But he had, and I wasn't gonna judge him. His choices were his own.

But when he got Kaylee involved, and the rest of my crew, I had no choice but to act. Couldn't have anyone hurtin' them, even if it meant puttin' a bullet into Tracey. Don't be thinkin' I don't regret that; but I couldn't see anyone of 'em get hurt. Not ever.

And then… When he was gone, and all the rest had gone back onto iSerenity/i, there was no one left at the cemetery but me and Zoe. She's never left me, not once. She stuck with me after the war, even though I'm pretty sure she thought I was goin' crazy, buyin' a broken down old ship like iSerenity/i and goin' off without a single idea where in the 'verse we were goin'. But she always stuck around, and now was no exception.

I hate cemeteries now. They bring back too many reminders about the men we lost, and the ones we couldn't bury. Oh, we tried, you know. But a battlefield ain't the place for ceremonies and burials. We had to leave some of them unburied, unmarked. But it didn't feel right, so we did what he wanted… Brought him back to his folks, and they gave him a proper burial.

No one really knew, 'cept Zoe. She always got me, an' how I hate bein' around people sometimes, almost as much as I hate cemeteries. But her, I can tolerate bein' with. I remember thinkin' how I was glad she was there; 'cause standin' at a gravesite with nothin' but thoughts runnin' through my mind… Well, I didn't want that.

I was grateful, and I told her as much. But Zoe bein' Zoe, she didn't do or say much, except the usual, "Any time, Cap'n." Funny thing is, no matter how many times she says that, I always know she means it. Doesn't matter if it's ten times, or a hundred, Zoe'll always mean it.

She's a special lady, you know? Don't think I could ask for a better second in command. Makes life a lot easier, havin' a person like her around. Just don't be tellin' her that; last thing I need is her gettin' a big head and forgettin' to do her job.

Though I don't think anythin' could make Zoe forget that, not even a man like me.