Hello, people of Earth and beyond! But yet, if you're not from Earth technically you're not a person. You're an extraterrestrial being. But, whatever. I'm weird like that.
Okay, I'm newish to FF and this is my first story! Yay! This story is already practically finished! It's weird, but I like to finish my stories before I post the first chapter. Then I can promise steady updates and a definite end.
Okay, so, sit back, relax, and enjoy. At this time, we would like to ask you to silence your cell phones for the sake of the others reading this story. Omg, I just had to say it. And when I said "we", I meant me. LOL!
Chapter One
How to Talk to Your True Love
Miley walked into school. She'd overslept. She had so much homework the previous night she'd thought she'd drown. She walked past a group of girls holding a school newspaper.
The moment she walked by, they all began whispering. Miley looked at them strangely, but kept walking.
Then she noticed many other kids looking and pointing at her. Miley noticed that all of them were holding newspapers. She quickly grabbed one from a girl, not even hearing the girl's complaint.
There in big bold letters it said:
Give It to Me Straight – Special Edition
Miley Stewart's personal opinion on each guy in school. What did she write about you?
Miley dropped the newspaper and gasped. How had this happened?
"I am so dead."
Two Weeks Earlier
Jake Ryan
Looks – Amazingly hot. Blonde hair, blue eyes, killer smile, toned body. Lips of an angel. Basically, everything is P-E-R-F-E-C-T.
Age – Same as me.
Occupation (if he has one) – A movie star. Roles include Zombie High, Teen Gladiators, and Roger Bucks: Space Whatever (didn't see the movie, it had Mikayla (gag) in it.)
Personality – half-decent, half arrogant. A nice guy underneath, but that niceness is surrounded by 100 meters of EGO.
Relationship Status – Broken up. Is now dating Mikayla (gags a second time).
Biggest Secret – His real name is Leslie.
Major Faults – Very egotistical. And a bit of a playboy.
--
Miley put down her pen. Her entries always helped her advice herself in the decisions of breaking up, making up, and getting together with guys.
"What are you writing on this fine day, here at Rico's?" Lilly asked, peering over Miley's shoulder to read what she'd written.
"Just another thing about Jake in MSBG." Miley smiled. MSBG was their codename for her book that she kept her entries in, it stood for Miley Stewart's Book of Guys. Lilly was the only soul in the entire world that knew about her book.
"Oh, what'd you add?" Lilly asked, peering over her shoulder once again. Miley swiped the book away.
"How about I tell you, instead of you breathing down the back of my neck? I just added the fact that he and…the she-devil…are now dating." Miley fake gagged.
"Ohh. Well, guess what? I made my own version of MSBG! It's called LTBM, Lilly Truscott's Book of Movies. I rate all of the movie's I've seen in the book! I even bought the same notebook as you for it! Except that mine has this huge movie reel sticker on the cover." Lilly explained excitedly, taking out the notebook to show her best friend.
"Oh my god, that's so cool!" Miley smiled, inspecting the notebook. She opened it up and browsed the few movies inside.
"You reviewed that dumb Roger Bucks movie of Jake's?" Miley asked incredulously.
"Read the part about the actors." Lilly instructed, pointing to the section of the page.
The section read as follows:
Acting
Jake Ryan – Jake's performance in this movie was good, but he made his character too much resemble his character from Zombie High. Is Jake Ryan a one character guy? Other than this, he performed his role fine.
Mikayla – I hate to say it, but Mikayla was terrible. Her costume was the fakest thing I've ever seen. Tip: When buying a costume for a movie, avoid Wal-Mart. Also, her acting was terrible. Next time she should try for a little emotion. And her fake alien voice was almost as bad as her costume. When using a voice changer, make sure the microphone isn't seen sticking out onto your face. Overall, she should just stick to singing. At least when I listened to that, I only threw up once.
"Lilly! This whole review is saying how terrible the movie was! Did you say all of this just to be on my side?" Miley laughed.
"Actually no. I was thinking of submitting these to the newspaper. We could call it 'Give It to Me Straight'. I love it. Don't you?" Lilly smiled.
"That's totally perfect! We'll talk to Jimmy Carson tomorrow at school. He's the head of the newspaper staff." Miley smiled.
HMHMHM
"Lilly, I love your ingenious proposal. We must assist our fellow students in their recognition of which cinematic works are to be viewed and which are a misuse of their monetary wealth." Jimmy smiled. Miley raised an eyebrow. This is exactly why Lilly wanted her to tag along for her interview.
"Um, thank you?" Lilly smiled back uneasily. Jimmy looked over the paper again.
"It is exceptionally advantageous that you are so candid and guileless with your opinion. We demand a journalist who will not present a fallacious submission to our newspaper, and who will always enlighten others with nothing but reality." He complimented her.
"Um, thaaaanks. My best friend, Miley, she proofreads all of my reviews. So, if you hire me you have to hire her." Lilly demanded, pointing towards Miley, who was sitting next to her.
"I suppose it shan't be a detriment if you employ your own editor. So you can inform this 'Miley' that she too is a employee of the Seaview High Newspaper Staff." He said uninterestedly, as if Miley wasn't sitting right there. He handed her back her notebook.
"Thank you so much, Jimmy! You won't regret it!" Lilly promised as she and Miley happy danced.
"Would you two frivolous miscreants remove yourselves from my presence? You are beginning to frighten me." Jimmy requested, waving his hand at the door. Lilly and Miley ran out of the classroom, still excited about their success with the newspaper.
"Let's go tell Oliver!" Lilly squealed. Miley felt a slight hesitation for a brief second, but then shook it off. The two ran to their best friend's locker.
"Oliver! Guess what?!" Lilly screamed. Oliver raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, I have a good guess. You just broke my eardrum!" He smiled in a mock happy tone.
"No! Miley and I are on the newspaper staff now! I review movies and Miley proofreads my work!" Lilly explained to him. He smiled.
"Wow, that's awesome." He said uninterestedly.
"Well I think that it's really awesome. I mean, I'm only proofreading so Lilly and I can hang out, but it's still really cool. I get to be in the yearbook picture!" Miley smiled.
"Wow, that is so cool." Oliver smiled genuinely. Lilly looked between the two.
"Um, so it's not cool that I'm on the newspaper staff and the one that writes the reviews, but it's 'so' cool that Miley is just proofreading to hang out with me?" Lilly asked, feeling hurt.
"Oh, um, no. I mean, it's cool for both of you. I mean, Miley has an awesome job editing and you have a great job…um…what was it that you do again?" He asked. Lilly's mouth fell open.
"Miley has the small, unimportant job! I'm the one with the awesome job! I actually write the stuff that Miley edits! If you could stop staring at…you-know-who…for like five seconds you would know that, Oliver!" She yelled. Miley suddenly looked confused.
"Who's this 'you-know-who'?"
"Oh, it's this person." Oliver laughed nervously. Miley crossed her arms.
"And does this person have a name?" She asked, tapping her foot impatiently. She always hated to be out of the loop.
"Yeah. Lilly wants me to stop staring at…uh…Thor!" Oliver laughed strangely, pointing to Thor.
"Thor?" Miley asked disbelievingly.
"Yeeeah. You see, I really hate his shirt. Lilly didn't want to use his name because…uh…Thor…is friends with Jackson. And Jackson is your brother. So we didn't want you to know that I hated your brother's friend's shirt." Oliver laughed uneasily.
"Um, okay? But truthfully, it is a pretty ugly shirt. So, I guess I'm not mad?" Miley asked, even though it wasn't really a question. Lilly rolled her eyes.
"You know, Miley. You should really be getting to class." She suggested to her best friend. Miley's eyebrows rose suspiciously.
"You're right. I should be. Bye Lilly. See you later Oliver!" Miley called, heading towards her class. She then squinted her eyes at them.
"But I'm watching you two." She threatened, pointing two of her fingers to her eyes and then pointing them to Oliver and Lilly.
"Bye Miley." Oliver said looking dreamily at the back of Miley's head. The moment Miley was out of sight, Lilly smacked him.
"What'd I do?" He asked defensively.
"You couldn't stop looking at Thor's shirt? Oliver, please. Next time you make an excuse, make it a good one! And once more, turning to goo every time Miley comes into site is no way to make her fall in love with you!" Lilly reprimanded him.
"I'm sorry! It's just that…she's so amazing." He said in a lovesick way.
"Ugh, I think I'm gonna barf. Oliver, if you want to keep your friendship with Miley, then you have to learn to talk to her. Here, pretend I'm Miley. Now talk to me." Lilly suggested. Oliver looked at her strangely for a moment.
"Um, hi?" He said. Lilly smacked him.
"Oliver! This is Miley, your best friend. If you greet her like that, she'll know that something is up!" She corrected him.
"Okay, let me retry then. Hey, Miles. How was your Hannah concert last night?" He asked with a bit more confidence. Lilly smacked him even harder.
"Oliver! If you ask her how her Hannah concert was in a public location like the hallway, she'll think that you want people to know that you're best friends with Hannah Montana and she'll think that you're just using her!" She whisper yelled.
"Okay, I guess I'll try again? Hey Miles. How was History class?"
"Oliver!"
"Ow! What'd I do wrong that time?"
"Asking about History class makes you seem like just school friends! Ask her something more personal!"
"Okaaay. Hey Miley. Um, any new love interests?"
"Oliver!"
"Stop hitting me! You told me to ask her a personal question!"
"Yeah, but I didn't mean that kind of personal! Asking her about love interests is like asking your wife who she's having an affair with!"
"Um, I really don't see the connection between those two—OW! Lilly, that one hurt really bad!"
"Well maybe if you'd stop saying stupid things I could stop hitting you! Ask her something personal that's not about dating! You know what, I changed my mind. You asking her anything isn't working out. Compliment her instead."
"Whatever you say, captain. OW! What was that one for?!"
"That was for the attitude. Now just talk!"
"Hey Miley, I love your new shoes."
"Oliver!"
"Ow! Seriously, my arm is almost numb! What was wrong with that? I complimented her!"
"Yes, but when a guy compliments a girl's shoes he seems gay!"
"So you want me to act gay?"
"Please don't tell me that was a serious question."
"Okay, never mind then. Miley, you're so talented and beautiful. How do you do it?"
"Oliver!"
"Ow! What was so wrong with that! I thought that was perfect!"
"You forgot to say hi! Do I just walk up to you and say 'Oliver, you have awesome socks.' No, I don't. I'd walk up to you and say 'Hey Oliver. Wow! Awesome socks!' You have to initiate conversation before you compliment!"
"My socks are white."
"Oliver! That's beside the point!"
"OW! Lilly, I want you to look at my arm. Do you see it? Yeah, it's red. Stop smacking me."
"You're right. I think your arm has had enough for now."
"Ow! Why'd you hit me again?"
"I said nothing about your other arm."
HMHMHM
Johnny Collins
Looks – Hottish. Muscular. Very very very bushy hair.
Age – Same as me.
Occupation (if he has one) – Cashier at Gary's Grocery Emporium. He's not really that good of a cashier.
Personality – No offense, but really stupid. Other than that, he's a pretty nice guy. Not really my type.
Relationship Status – He was just a crush. He's now dating Amber and Ashley (yes, both of them). I know, ewww.
Biggest Secret – Last I checked, it was that he likes Ashley better. (Shhh, he told this to Hannah.)
Major Faults – As already mentioned, not very brainy. Also, he's really popular.
--
Miley finished up her entry. She was constantly changing the "Dating Status" section for Johnny. He always had a new girlfriend.
"Hey, Miles. I got a question." Jackson asked, walking into the room.
"Okay, shoot." Miley said. She began to drink out of the water bottle she had sitting in front of her.
"Is Lilly single?"
Miley immediately spit out all of her water, which happened to land on Jackson.
"Yeah, uh, she's, um, single. But why are you asking?" Miley asked. Jackson was currently wiping the water off of him, looking disgusted.
"Um, my friend likes her." Jackson admitted. His face turned a slight shade of pink, but Miley didn't really think anything of it.
"Oh my god! Lilly will be SO excited! I mean, a junior crushing on a freshman! That'll totally brighten her day! It's not Thor is it?" Miley asked in a sudden serious and accusing tone. Jackson laughed.
"Oh please, Miles. Firstly, this guy is totally normal and the ladies think he's irresistible. Secondly, Lilly's not even Thor's type. He's into girls with four legs, black and white fur, and a vocabulary spanning from 'moo' and 'moooo'." Jackson laughed.
"You do know you just described a cow, right?" Miley asked. Jackson nodded. Miley had to roll her eyes. But still, Lilly would be so overjoyed to find out that not only did a guy have a crush on her, but a junior!
"Oh, and Miley, please don't tell—"
Jackson was interrupted by their front door opening. Lilly walked in holding her skateboard. Miley jumped up.
"Lilly! Jackson just told me that one of his friends has a crush on you! One of his normal hot junior friends!" Miley screamed. Lilly's grin immediately grew wider.
"Lilly." Jackson said through gritted teeth, finishing his previous sentence. Lilly ran up to him and squealed.
"Oh my god! Please tell me it's true, Jackson!" She asked. Jackson sucked in a big breath.
"Yeah, it's true." He admitted. Lilly immediately hugged Jackson super tight.
"Oh my god! My dating slump is over! I love you Jackson! I love you for having friends! I love you for ending my dating slump!" She screamed. Jackson's face was now bright red.
"Jackson? Are you okay? You do know that Lilly was kidding about the love thing right?" Miley asked her brother, whose face had turned a deep crimson.
"Yeah, I know. She was totally kidding about loving me. Not serious. No es serio. See, I even understand it in Spanish. Heh heh, I'm leaving now." He said, heading upstairs.
"Oh no you aren't." Lilly contradicted him. She grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the couch where Miley was sitting. They two of them sat down. Jackson stared at his hand.
"Lilly, you're still holding my hand." Jackson announced. Lilly immediately removed it.
"Sorry! I'm just so excited! I haven't had a guy like me since Lucas and I'm still having trust issues with guys after that whole thing. And that was four months ago! So, who is it?" She asked. Jackson seemed a little surprised at the question.
"Wh-who? Well…uh…you see…he's…um…he won't let me tell you." Jackson explained. Miley immediately knew he was lying. She'd learned to catch Jackson's lies the second he learned the word "prank". Lilly's smile fell.
"He won't let you tell me? W-why?" She asked. Miley was going to kill Jackson if he had just made this "friend" up.
"Because he's…scared." Jackson told her. Miley was surprised. Jackson wasn't lying.
"Why is he scared?" Lilly asked desperately. Miley looked at Jackson inquiringly as well. Now that she knew her brother was telling the truth, she wanted to know the details.
"Because he's scared of the reaction he'll get." Jackson admitted, looking at the floor. Lilly furrowed her brow.
"But, I won't react badly. I swear!" She promised. Jackson laughed lightly, still staring at the ground.
"It's not your reaction he's worried about. It's…someone else's."
Lilly looked at Miley for an explanation, but Miley shrugged her shoulders. She was just as confused as anyone else. Lilly then turned her view back to Jackson.
"Why does this person's opinion on his feelings matter?" She asked.
"This person's opinion on his feelings is very important to both him and you." Jackson explained. Lilly thought for a moment, then looked over at Miley with her eyes wide.
"Miley, you know him!" She squealed. Miley looked at Lilly as if she were crazy.
"I do?" She asked. Lilly nodded energetically.
"Yeah! Your opinion on the guys I date matters to me most! I mean, my mom wouldn't really react, Oliver's too caught up in his love for yo—yogurt, and my dad wouldn't even find out! It has to be you! So, who does your opinion matter to?" Lilly asked. Miley thought for a minute.
It wasn't Thor. He didn't even know Miley that well. It wasn't Cooper, he moved away. It wasn't that guy Brad, he just talked to her once at lunch. She was stumped. Unless it was…but it couldn't be!
"Well, the only person I can think of is Jacks—"
"Guess what! Marissa Braves and Kyle Teeds broke up!" Jackson quickly cut in. Miley and Lilly both turned to each other with their eyes wide.
"Oh my god! They were so cute together!" Miley confessed.
"I know! They were like, our school's golden couple. How could they end it?" Lilly asked. Jackson wiped invisible sweat off his forehead. He leaned into the conversation.
"Well I heard that they broke up because Marissa hooked up with Ryan Golding at a party a few days ago." He said. Both Lilly and Miley's mouths dropped open.
"No!"
"Yes."
"No!"
"Yes!"
"Oh my god! She is such a tramp!" Lilly yelled. Jackson sneaked out of the room as Miley and Lilly gossiped about Marissa. That was too close.
AHHH! The first chapter is done! I might cry! Okay, I have a two lists for you. Skip them if you will. So, I'll put this next warning in CAPS LOCK so the busy people will read it. WARNING: YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ THE FOLLOWING!
Okay, here I go. Oh, and to those meanies who just skipped this and went to the bottom, P. Okay, here are three reasons to keep reading this story.
1. It's already mostly finished, so I can right here promise you at the LEAST one update a week.
2. It includes a lot of romance, action (um, maybe), and comedy! Well, I tried for comedy. I don't know how good it actually is.
3. It is at times completely and TOTALLY RANDOM! But in a way that it still follows the plot, and makes sense. Which leads to my second list.
Some of the random things you'll come across in my story: Oliver dressed as a woman, an anniversary of being a person, green eggs and ham, stains on the ceiling, an overpeppy kids' arcade, a teen who knows too many big words, confusing analogies a la Miley, weird phone messages, nonexistent best friends, sad songs, scary movies that shouldn't be that scary, midnight conversations, and a little kid who always tends to reveal too much information.