(a puzzled cabbit dressed in a trenchcoat with a smiley face button on it, and
shades (on the cabbit and the button) hops in)
Irresponsible Captain Masa-ouki: What the? Washu?! What did you do?!
Washu: Well, since you're co-writing a fusion, I thought I'd fuse the
co-writers.
ICM: (sweatdrops) Gee, thanks Washu
Washu: Just read the disclaimer or you'll wish that was the last thing I did to
you.
ICM: (sweatdrops again...a lot) Anyway, the cast of Tenchi Muyo is copyright by
Pioneer. The concepts of Sakura Wars is copyrighted by AIC. Other jokes and
comments may ellude to other concepts owned by other companies. They aren't ours
either. The idea of mixing the Tenchi characters with the concepts of Sakura
Wars is ours. Please don't sue us, as you can't really take a cabbit to court.
Besides, in our current state, proof of identity could get confusing. We'd also be
able to make a successful insanity defense, should things go wrong. If you want to
comment, compliment, burn, or lynch us, you can get one half (Owen "Little
Masa-ouki" Kuhn) at lighthawkwings@masakishrine.com and the other half
(Paul "IrrCapT" Bernard) at pmbernard@usa.net. So, without further ado...
Royal Tear Drop Wars
Act 1
The Demon Wars Begin...AGAIN?!
"Wow! Look at that!"
"That was one of the new steam-powered cars, by Kanzaki Heavy
Industries(TM)."
"It's so fast."
"Hey, you kids!" An old man called out. The children, now trailing
aways from the car, stopped and ran over to him. "There's a new really big steam
engine, building the new Tokyo theatre. It's so loud, it sounds like a gun shot."
*bang!*
"Was that it?"
"No, that was a bank robber down the street. Best get out of the way,
he's armed."
"It's been almost a year since the demon wars ended." Nobuyuki said
with a sigh, as he looked out at the city of Tokyo from his office window.
"Yes, but we must remain vigilant." Yosho said sternly. "Who
knows when the next war may begin."
"What? I'm still tired from the last one. Can't we rest a while
first."
"You had a whole year. Look at the plans."
*plays butchered version of opening music to Sakura Wars*
"What was that music?" Nobuyuki asked, looking up from the plans.
"I don't know, but it's catchy."
In a large, cavernous warehouse, in the Kanzaki Heavy Industries complex, a
test was being run. A large robot, ressembling nothing more than a giant can
hooked up to a steam engine, was powering up.
"He still doesn't have enough spirit energy to move the Oubo." The
technician sighed. "He's not even getting a reading. Wait! I think I see
something..."
The robot whistled, let out a large burst of steam, and promptly spat out
the pilot across the room.
"Yaaaaaaaaaa-" *Clang!*
"...nope, I was wrong."
The three technicians ran out and begun to repair the armor. Meanwhile, a
teenage girl, sporting spikey cyan hair (and I mean really spikey. Let's face it,
you could impale somebody on this hair. I mean, it looks like she's related to
Sonic, the Hedgehog and...) the woman glared at the screen (um, but it was really
quite lovely in it's own right, and lets move on shall we?) stepped onto the scene.
Behind her stood a tall, nefarious fellow. Feeling his presence behind her, she
spun around.
"Kagato!" She hissed. "I will make you pay!"
"Really, you sorry excuse for a waste product. I would like to see you
try."
Ryoko growled and lunged at him. "Grandfather!" She huggled the
man.
"Ahh, little Ryoko. What are you doing here?"
"I've come to see you work."
The technicians, who had yet to notice either Kagato or Ryoko, continued
talking.
"Man! Have you seen Kagato's granddaughter? She's hot! *bang* Ow! Who
threw that?"
"Shut up and get to work!" Kagato said.
"But we need a new test subject."
"Yes, we shall. First, fix the Oubo. And dump the body of the last
subject. Make sure nobody finds it like the last one."
"But he's not dead. Just injured."
"Look, we can either pay money to save the life of a man who has proved
himeself to be nothing but waste, or we can cash in on his life insurance. Now
go!"
Two of the technicians ran over and picked up the man. "I'm telling you,
it's one of the downsides to working for an evil super-genius."
"Yeah, but the pays good."
Meanwhile, the head technician, Dr. Clay, and Kagato were discussing
possibilities.
"I'm telling you, Kagato, we'll never be able to get the armor to move,
until we find someone who can move this gauge."
"Which one?"
"This one, right here. The one jumping all over the place...JUMPING ALL
OVER THE PLACE?!"
Indeed, the gauge was moving rapidly, and pointing towards Kagato and Ryoko.
"Then this means...Kagato, you're-"
"Not me, Octopus-head! The girl! Strap her in!"
"But she's you're granddaughter!"
"So? That means she has even more life insurance."
Later, after the other technicians returned, and the Oubo was fully repaired,
they jumped Ryoko, and chained her into the robot. Then they ran behind
a large plate of armor.
"Hey! Let me out of here! Hmph! I'll show you! This is what you get
for putting me in this ugly armor!"
Ryoko struggled. Then a red aura started to grow around her. Slowly, the
Oubo's arm rose. The technicians jumped and cheered.
"Take this bastards!" Ryoko said as she fired the Oubo's arm cannon,
taking out one of the technicians.
"But Kagato." Dr. Clay said, from the elevated observation deck that
he and Kagato were safely in. "I thought we weren't going to load the gun until
after testing."
"Yes," Kagato said as he watched his granddaughter step on the second
technician, before chasing after the third. "Well, I'm trying to kill off all the
people who helped me create this, so I can take all the credit and rewards. But it
has to look like an accident, so I don't go to jail."
"Ahh, a brilliant plan."
"That includes you."
"What?!"
"Look. I'm an evil super-genius. Deal with it!" With that, Kagato
shoved Clay off the platform, and to his grizzly death.
Back at Nobuyuki's office, his teletype started spitting out a long stream
of paper with an intricate message written in punched dots. Nobuyuki raced over,
leapt over his desk, and fell on the other side. He groaned, picked himself up,
and began studying the paper.
"This is amazing! It's absolutely incredible."
"What does it say?" Yosho asked, as he stepped into the room.
"I have no idea. How am I supposed to read it? It's just a bunch of
dots! But look. Right here! It forms a duck!
"Looks more like a rabbit to me."
"No, it's a duck."
"Rabbit!"
"Duck!"
"Wabbit!"
"Duck!"
"Wabbit Season!"
"Duck Season!"
Meanwhile, on a cafe balcony in China, a tall blackhaired woman was
interviewing a young chinese girl, with spikey red hair, which resembled a crab if
you looked at it right. The hair, not the girl! *slaps reader in the face.*
Baka!
"Ooh! We're going to Japan?" The girl said in perfect Japanese. "Oooh!
I can run tests on Mount Fuji!"
"How do you know Japanese?" Achika asked.
"I can fluently speak over 200 different languages. I am, after all, the
Greatest Scientific Mind on the Planet. All things in moderation."
"You call that moderation?" Achika sweatdropped.
"You don't know the half of it." Washu grinned maniacally.
"Well, I'm here to recruit you for..."
"Kanzaki Heavy Industries?"
"How did you...nevermind."
"Well, Kanzaki Heavy Industries is the world's most prestigious arms
developer. Run by a close friend of mine, Kagato! Well, we were close...we had a
falling out a few years back."
"What happened?"
"Well, I wouldn't support his bid for world domination. He said things, I
said things. And we haven't spoken since."
"Have you considered trying to talk to him?"
"No! Not until he admits that he was absolutely wrong, in absolutely
every way, about absolutely everything!"
"Oh well, so much for seeing the end of that in this lifetime...or the
next."
Near a shinto shrine in the remote snowy mountains of Japan, a young lady
with long purple hair (and when I say long purple hair, I mean long purple hair.
You have no idea how long this hair is. It goes to the frikken ground! I mean...
Audience: Get on with it! Right, anyway, onto scene 24 where there aren't any
swallows but you might here a starling in the *twang*) flowing down her back in two
long braids, (read it through again and you'll get it) sat staring at an obisidian
memorial. In deep engraved letters it read: "This space for rent." Below that,
and in no way less important, it read: "Azusa Shinguchi."
A remarkably round and cylindrical man floated over and held an unbrella
above the woman's head.
"Ayeka. GET OUT OF THE SNOW!!!!!!!"
Ayeka promptly facefaulted. Then she said. "Azaka. First, NEVER DO THAT
AGAIN! Second, why did my father sacrifice himself?"
"He did it to save the Juraian Empire."
"What's the Juraian Empire?"
"Actually, I made that up. I thought it sounded better than saying 'I
dunno.'"
Ayeka facefaulted...again. She lay still for a long time. A starling
chirped in the background.
"Ayeka? Lady Ayeka? Are you alright?"
Suddenly, Ayeka lept to her feet, yelling "RUN! TERMITES!"
"What?! Help!!!...DON'T DO THAT!"
In a large, cavernous warehouse, (A different one) Nobuyuki was giving the
rundown for the vehicles for the capital defense force to Yosho.
"Gee, we have a lot of large, cavernous warehouses. Anyway, The capital
defense force is entering it's second year..."
"Why are you making that face?"
"I'm practicing my evil look."
"Save the evil look for Dr. Kagato, you look rediculous."
"Moving on." Nobuyuki said sullenly. "We have the Zepplin, Ryu-oh..."
"Why is made of wood?"
"...the bullet train, Yukinojo..."
"It looks more like a space ship than a train."
"...and the battleship, Shoja."
"Now that is one big battleship!"
"Any questions?"
"Yes, why is the blimp made of wood, and why does the train look like a
space ship?"
"No questions? Good." Nobuyuki turned to leave. He paused for a second
then muttered, "duck."
"Wabbit!"
Suddenly, a fist slammed into the face of a young man. The fist belongs to
a tall dark skinned woman with blonde curly hair. (And it was also decently poofy.
I mean, not afro length but certainly sticks out from her head in a somewhat wild-ow!
*gets hit in head by a large green haired man wearing glowing white armor with the
letters KOME embossed on it* Okay, moving on.) The man tettered and fell to the deck,
where several others lay.
"I'm Mihoshi Karishima, inheritor of the Karishima style of karate. And
your blonde jokes hurt my feelings!!"
While leaning on the rail of the ship, for that is where they are, Achika
said, "Mihoshi, sometimes you need to tone it down."
"Oh, Miss Achika!" Mihoshi leapt forward to hug Achika, but tripped on the
wet deck and slammed into the railing. "Ow."
"See what I mean?"
"Um, what was question?"
"Nevermind. I'm here to recruit you for the Capital Defense Force."
"Oh really? That sounds fun. I'll join up!"
"But I haven't told you what it is?"
"Who cares. It beats hanging out with these losers."
"Okay." Achika shrugs, as she walked off.
Achika entered a posh cabin, and ducked as a small brown plush toy with a
rabbits body and a cats head floated past. Throughout the room various small
objects were floating around. On a frilly pink bed sat a young girl with large pink
eyes and long (Not as long as Ayeka's however, but still very long. In fact at her
height, it still *blam* Okay, moving on.) blue hair tied in two pig tails.
"Sasami. I thought I told you to clean up your room."
"No, you zaid to get all ze junk off ze floor." Sasami said in a thick
French accent.
"That's not what I meant." Achika sighed.
"But that's what you said." She giggled.
"What happened to your accent?"
"Oops, I mean, um, I don't know what you're talking about."
"Anyway, I'm here to recruit you for the-"
"Kanzaki Heavy Industriesn Capital Defense Project?"
"How did-"
"Washu told me all about it. I like it. It's muy bueno!"
"That's Spanish!"
"Oops!"
"Speaking of Washu, where did she-" Achika was cut off, again, by a loud
explosion which rocked the deck violently. "What was that?"
Washu came running into the room. "Hey, do either of you have a couple
square feet of sheet metal and some sealant or a blowtorch?"
"Washu, what did you do now?"
"I definitely didn't blow a hole in the hull."
"Washu!!"
"I'm fixing it."
Suddenly two miniature Washu's popped up on her shoulders, one sporting a
trendy A on her dress, while the other went for the more subtle B look.
"Washu you're the-"
"NOT NOW!"
Later, on the deck, which was slightly lower than it was before. Achika
was having dinner with a tall woman with long (but not like Ayeka's or Sasami's but
still long in its...okay, please don't hurt me. We'll continue.) dark green hair.
"So why do you want to defend the capitol?" Kiyone asked.
"Because I have a lot of fond memories there...of Noboyuki...before he
died."
"But isn't he still alive?"
Achika paused a second, then smiled. Under her breath she whispered. "Shut
up with the plot holes!"
"Ahem, right. I mean, I also have fond memories, of Operative A and my
secret love for him..what the..." Kiyone paused and pulled out a large stack of
papers which read 'Script for Royal Teardrop Wars.' "What?! I never loved him!
I mean we dated for a month or so, but it didn't work out! Um, sorry for that loss
of profesionalism."
"You we're saying?"
"I will join you. We must protect our memories."
"Yeah, that's why I keep mine locked in a vault guarded by Pirhana Poodles."
Achika opened her mouth and suddenly...
There was a small metal room.
"What the hell kind of wipe was that?" Kagato asked. "It doesn't even mean
anything. I seriously hope somebody got fired for that."
(Yes, somebody was fired. Now go back to your lines before we fire you too.)
"Oh, right, like you could find a replacement for me."
(There's always Makoto Mizuhara. He's looking for work.)
"He's not a mad scientist!"
(That's why he wasn't our first choice. But he's a good actor, he might be
able to pull it off.)
"Curse you Makoto Mizuhara. Anyway, my granddaughter will name the three
Oubo's."
"They should be named..." Ryoko muttered as she studied them. "The three
Colored Oni!"
The only surviving technician face faulted. "You do realize that we're
fighting the demons."
"I know."
"And you don't think that this could get just a little confusing."
"Shut up! It's my Oubo, I'll name it what I want!"
"Yes." Kagato grinned. "The Oni will be fine. Now it's your job to paint
them. One blood red. One brush-metal blue. One twilight purple. And I want them
all done tonight!" He said tossing the technician a (small) paintbrush.
"Um, are you sure there's enough ventalation in this room?"
"Yes, I'm positive."
"But it's airtight!"
"Look you'll do what I tell you to!" Kagato said as he pulled Ryoko out of
the room, and closed the airlock with a hiss.
In the central room of the Shinguchi shrine, stood a large tree. (They're
Juraian. Deal with it. Audience But Azaka said-Silence!) Embedded in the side
of the tree, was a small celtically braided sword hilt. Before it, was the girl
with the long hair, which I mentioned in scene twenty- *bow string creak* Okay,
moving on. Ayeka was sitting in meditation before the tree and the sword. Thinking
on her actions, she slowly reached forward, to take the sword...
Only to be smashed into the floor by Funaho's large hammer.
"Couldn't you just slap me on the wrist?!"
"We're Japanese. We prefer tough love, not slap-on-the-wrist punishment."
Misaki stepped next to Funaho. "Aren't you supposed to talk in a whisper?"
"Hrmphfarumphana."
"Your grandmother says that the sword, Tenchi-ken, is not something that you
take. It is something you are offered."
"Mother. Why can't Grandmother Funaho be more normal?"
Misaki's only response was to glare forboddenly at her daughter.
"I mean...Mommy! Why can't Grandma be nice-nice?"
"I don't know, pumpkin." Misaki said as she pulled her daughter into a bone
crushing hug. "But I'll always love you, no matter how mean she is."
Misaki was the next to recieve Funaho's mallet. "How come I always have to
be the tough parent?!"
"You're supposed to MUMBLE!!"
"Hrmphfarumphana."
"What did she say, mother?"
"I can't translate that. We have to keep a PG rating."
At a large and cavernous ballroom (Haha, you thouth I was going to say
warehouse, didn't ya), Kagto was announcing his succes in the creation of the Oobo
"...and I told him that the room was poorly ventilated, but he said he
wanted to get these painted in time for this Gala ball. And with his dying breath
he said to me 'Kagato, my master, take all of the credit and my life insurance
money. You deserve it.' Yes he loved me as a fther, and I loved him as a son. Not
a good son, more like a fat and lazy one, but a son none the less..and now..."
In the corner of the room, Ryoko yawned. "Jeeze, the old man sure can talk.
I just take my picture and split this dull place." She took the picture of her and the
Oubo's off the wall, only to discover that there was a secret vault behind it. Two
seconds later, after she had cracked the safe, she looked inside and said, "Cool!
The life insurance money. Oh well, finders keepers!"
Ryoko looked around, and darted out the door, right as Kagato said, "And
now, to give a speech on the workings of the Oubo, is my talented granddaughter,
Ryoko...Ryoko? Where'd she go. I'd better go find her."
Ryoko sped out the door, and lept into the waiting limo.
"Is the party over already?" The young driver said, peering over his shades
at Ryoko.
"More or less, Rei-kun, my pimp and driver. Let's get out of here!"
"Where to?"
"To the bad side of town. Let's go slumming."
"Okay, but we have to be back early. I booked you a commercial shooting
tomorrow morning."
"Yay!" A young girl with brown pigtails yelled. "We're going slumming!"
"Who the hell are you?!"
Sasami, Mihoshi, and Kiyone walked past the rows of tents in the carnival.
"What did Mr. Noboyuki say?" Mihoshi asked.
"He said to have as much fun as you legally can now, because we'll be
working non-stop for the next year or so." Kiyone sighed.
"Yay! Fun!"
"I too vill haf foon vith yoo." Sasami chimed in.
"French! Not German!"
"Oops! Excuise moi, mon capitan."
"Where's my advil?" Kiyone sighed as she rummaged through her purse.
"Ooh! Look what I can do!" Sasami smiled.
Kiyone looked, then downed the entire bottle of advil.
"Sasami! Stop telkinetically juggling people!"
"You are no fun. I did noting wrong!" Sasami cried as she bolted away.
Her former juggling items, fell to the ground in a heap.
"Ow!"
"Ooof!"
"My arm!"
"My spleen!"
"My gahartsenflas!"
"Your what?"
"Damn Germans!"
"Sasami! Come back!" Kiyone yelled.
"I'll get her!" Mihoshi cheered as she charged after her, only to trip on
the pile of people. "Ow! My gahartsenflas!"
"You don't even know what that is!" The German yelled.
"Does anybody have any more advi...What's that?!"
"That's the Great Bell, which was given to us by our shogun in Meji year-"
"Not the bell! The sickening dropping feeling I just had!"
"I don't know. Maybe you took too much advil."
Suddenly a Xenomor-I mean, Demon, *wink wink* appeared.
"Hey. With Alein Ressurection done, a guys gotta get work somewhere."
Anyway, hey! Put me down! *Narrator is carried away by copyright lawyers*
the huge demon charged forward...(voice fades away into the distance.)
"Now what do we do?"
"Oh! I know. We do it like radio. Look...a vicious MONster is carving...
a path of de...struc...tion through the CARniVAL."
"I thought we fired you, William! Anyway! The demon is going after Sasami!
Let's go Mihoshi!"
"But my gahartsenflas..."
"Your Gahartsa-whatever is fine! Just move!"
I'm back! The *huff* two girls ran *puff puff* after the large xeno-I mean
demon-who was *gasp* drawing ever closer *puff* towards Sasami. Look out Sasami!
"Hey!" The demon yeled. "No helping!"
As the demon pulled up behind Sasami, she spun around and planted a finger
directly on his nose.
"Tag! You're it! You're it! Can't catch moi!"
"Oh yeah!" The demon roared. Sasami laughed at the demon before teleporting
away.
"What the-" Kiyone muttered.
"Holy shi-"
"Hey! PG rating. PG rating!"
"Sorry Kiyone."
Meanwhile, at the lab.
"Washu!" Achika yelled as she burst into the lab. "The others are under
attack. They need your help!"
"Never fear! Washu, the great scientist will-" *BOOM!*
Achika just managed to close the door befor the explosion filled the room.
Cautiously she re-opened the door and looked in on the charred remains of the lab.
"I'll give you five minutes" She sighed before closing the door again.
"Washu!" The Washu-bots chimed. "You're the-"
"Just shut up."
Back at the carnival.
"Got any twos?"
"Go fish."
Guys! You're on!
"Oh, zorry. Hahaha! You weel nevah catch moi!"
"Sasami! Stop taunting the demon." Mihoshi yelled. "Teleport closer to
us!"
Kiyone stared dumbfounded at Mihoshi.
"What? Everybody shines occassionally."
"Whatever." Kiyone sighed as she took out her gun. "We have to catch up
with them."
Finally, the demon cornered Sasami at the top of the clock tower. Sasami
shimmered again, but this time did not teleport.
"Oh, no! I am out of juiz! Fu-"
"PG Rating!" Mihoshi yelled, as she burst out onto the catwalk.
"Zorry."
Mihoshi threw herself in front of Sasami as the xeno-I mean demon spat a
spray of acid out of a rather un-xenomorph-like tongue.
"Hey. I hath intachangabal pahtth."
Whatever. Mishoshi punched the acid straight back at the demon.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! It burns!"
"Mihoshi! Only you could be that stupid!"
"Hey! Kanna did that too!"
"Who's Kanna?"
"Um, I don't know what you're talking about."
"Hello?" The demon called out. "Big scary Xenomorph, I mean demon, over
here!"
"Oh, yeah." Sasami said, as she turned to the demon. "Yoo hurt my friend.
Now yoo learn ze most important lezzon!"
"What, that I shouldn't open my big mouth?"
"No. Never Pizz me off! Tzunami Zlave!" Sasami yelled as she hurled a huge
energy bolt at the demon.
"Shouldn't there be water included?"
"It's not that kind of Tsunami. Never mind!"
Suddenly, a huge beam of energy burst through part of the building, flew
right over Mishoshi's head, and smashed into the monstrous demon.
"My dimensional cannon worked! Now I just need to attach it to my eye
platform thingy-um, nevermind."
"Nice shot Washu!" Achika cheered. "But did you have to shoot THROUGH the
building?"
"It would've taken longer to go around it. Now to finish him off! With my
Washu-class atomic missle launcher!" Washu picked up a really large bazooka, aimed
it at the demon, and pulled the trigger.
There was a giant explosion! Unfortunately, it was where Washu was, and not
the demon.
"Washu! You are-"
"NOT NOW!"
But being hit with acid, shot with holy energy, then hit by a dimensional
beam cannon, and falling off a very tall tower was just slightly more than the
demon could take. It crashed into the ground, and lay motionless for a moment,
before cryptically called out "Rosebud" and slowly faded away.
Ayeka sat still in front of the tree which held the magic sword Tenchi-ken.
"The sword, Tenchi-ken, is not something that you take. It is something you
are-aw screw the sword! How am I going to get away from this dream-oppressing
family!"
Suddenly, the Tenchi-ken pulled out of the tree, revealing a solid blue
blade, which glowed with a soft energy. (But it isn't an energy blade, it's made
out of metal, and it's curved. So stop thinking that.) It hung in the air as it
slowly floated out towards the door.
Ayeka, still lost in thought of how to escape her family, didn't notice.
The sword floated back, and rapped the door several times to get her attention.
When she still didn't react, it floated over to her, and smacked her in the back of
the head with it's hilt.
"Ow! Sorry! Excuse me for having problems of my own. Alright! Alright!
I'll follow you. Sheesh! Everybody's always telling me what to do."
Ayeka got up and followed the blade out into the bamboo woods. Eventually
it stopped. It spun in the air, before slowly stopping, pointing towards the north.
"You want me to go to Honshu?"
The sword shook itself, then pointed south.
"Hokaido?"
It shook again, then pointed north-west.
"Kobei?!"
West.
"Shikoku?"
South east, although it wasn't very sure anymore.
"Tokyo?"
The sword nodded vigorously.
"Oh! I see! I must go to Tokyo!"
"Where'd we get that sword?" Misaki asked as she peered out from behind a
clump of bamboo.
"It was forged by the great wandering swordmaster, Ryoga Hibiki."
"If he was a wndering swordmaster, shouldn't it have a good sense of
direction?"
"No. Ryoga wandered because he couldn't find his way home."
"Oh."
A young, dark skinned boy with a shaved head, was sighing as he looked at
latest paper.
"Can you believe this? It says the carnival was saved by three beautiful
girls, but you can't even see them in their picture. It's all blurry."
"Well, Tenchi. Maybe one of them used psycho-kinetic powers, to blur the
film thus hiding their features from the populous."
"Will, you get real, Mizuhara? That's almost as rediculous as your idea
about alternate dimensions."
"Makoto Mizuhara! I shall-"
"Shut up Jinnai!" Tenchi yelled. "It's your fault we're on KP duty in the
first place!"
Suddenly, a large fat man with a red nose, in a Captain uniform appeared
behind them. "And you better get back to it!"
"Yes, Captain Amagasaki!" The three saluted, as they grabbed their mops
and started washing the deck.
"Damn Amagasaki! I'll show him. One day, I'll have my own anime, and the
only part he'll have is being punched in the nose!"
"I heard that!"
Kagato walked into Noboyuki's office.
"I'm taking the Shoja."
"Ahh! Dr. Kagato! How's the progress on the Oubo coming? Did you get over
that little snag?"
"Snag? We've completed three Oubo, and have three more in production.
Didn't you get my message over the tele-type?"
"No, but we got this!" Noboyuki held up the hole-punch paper. "It looks
just like a duck!"
"Wabbt!" Yosho yelled as he barged into the room.
"Duck!"
"That's my message!" Kagato cried. "And it looks more like a ferret than
anything else."
"Duck!"
"Wabbit!"
"Duck!"
"Wabbit!"
"You guys need help. I'm taking the Shoja, wether you like it or not."
"Duck!"
"Wabbit!"
Kagato rolled his eyes as he stormed out of the office.
"Prepare to launch the Shoja!" Kagato yelled. The crew scrambled all around
as they prepared the massive battleship.
Soon, they were plowing across the seas. Kagato was scanning the shoreline
with his binoculars.
"Ryoko! Ryoko! Where are you?! Hey! Dolphins, how peaceful and
motivating." Kagato took out his blowhorn. "Open fire, starboard!
Three o' clock."
The machine guns echoed through the night as they fired into the sea. The
dolphins suffering was short, and soon there was nothing but calm red water.
On the shore, a tall doctor with an evil face stared out at the carnage.
"Now how am I supposed to make my fanfic?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, there it is. C&C is REALLY wanted. If we get enough (good) feedback we'll
write more.
shades (on the cabbit and the button) hops in)
Irresponsible Captain Masa-ouki: What the? Washu?! What did you do?!
Washu: Well, since you're co-writing a fusion, I thought I'd fuse the
co-writers.
ICM: (sweatdrops) Gee, thanks Washu
Washu: Just read the disclaimer or you'll wish that was the last thing I did to
you.
ICM: (sweatdrops again...a lot) Anyway, the cast of Tenchi Muyo is copyright by
Pioneer. The concepts of Sakura Wars is copyrighted by AIC. Other jokes and
comments may ellude to other concepts owned by other companies. They aren't ours
either. The idea of mixing the Tenchi characters with the concepts of Sakura
Wars is ours. Please don't sue us, as you can't really take a cabbit to court.
Besides, in our current state, proof of identity could get confusing. We'd also be
able to make a successful insanity defense, should things go wrong. If you want to
comment, compliment, burn, or lynch us, you can get one half (Owen "Little
Masa-ouki" Kuhn) at lighthawkwings@masakishrine.com and the other half
(Paul "IrrCapT" Bernard) at pmbernard@usa.net. So, without further ado...
Royal Tear Drop Wars
Act 1
The Demon Wars Begin...AGAIN?!
"Wow! Look at that!"
"That was one of the new steam-powered cars, by Kanzaki Heavy
Industries(TM)."
"It's so fast."
"Hey, you kids!" An old man called out. The children, now trailing
aways from the car, stopped and ran over to him. "There's a new really big steam
engine, building the new Tokyo theatre. It's so loud, it sounds like a gun shot."
*bang!*
"Was that it?"
"No, that was a bank robber down the street. Best get out of the way,
he's armed."
"It's been almost a year since the demon wars ended." Nobuyuki said
with a sigh, as he looked out at the city of Tokyo from his office window.
"Yes, but we must remain vigilant." Yosho said sternly. "Who
knows when the next war may begin."
"What? I'm still tired from the last one. Can't we rest a while
first."
"You had a whole year. Look at the plans."
*plays butchered version of opening music to Sakura Wars*
"What was that music?" Nobuyuki asked, looking up from the plans.
"I don't know, but it's catchy."
In a large, cavernous warehouse, in the Kanzaki Heavy Industries complex, a
test was being run. A large robot, ressembling nothing more than a giant can
hooked up to a steam engine, was powering up.
"He still doesn't have enough spirit energy to move the Oubo." The
technician sighed. "He's not even getting a reading. Wait! I think I see
something..."
The robot whistled, let out a large burst of steam, and promptly spat out
the pilot across the room.
"Yaaaaaaaaaa-" *Clang!*
"...nope, I was wrong."
The three technicians ran out and begun to repair the armor. Meanwhile, a
teenage girl, sporting spikey cyan hair (and I mean really spikey. Let's face it,
you could impale somebody on this hair. I mean, it looks like she's related to
Sonic, the Hedgehog and...) the woman glared at the screen (um, but it was really
quite lovely in it's own right, and lets move on shall we?) stepped onto the scene.
Behind her stood a tall, nefarious fellow. Feeling his presence behind her, she
spun around.
"Kagato!" She hissed. "I will make you pay!"
"Really, you sorry excuse for a waste product. I would like to see you
try."
Ryoko growled and lunged at him. "Grandfather!" She huggled the
man.
"Ahh, little Ryoko. What are you doing here?"
"I've come to see you work."
The technicians, who had yet to notice either Kagato or Ryoko, continued
talking.
"Man! Have you seen Kagato's granddaughter? She's hot! *bang* Ow! Who
threw that?"
"Shut up and get to work!" Kagato said.
"But we need a new test subject."
"Yes, we shall. First, fix the Oubo. And dump the body of the last
subject. Make sure nobody finds it like the last one."
"But he's not dead. Just injured."
"Look, we can either pay money to save the life of a man who has proved
himeself to be nothing but waste, or we can cash in on his life insurance. Now
go!"
Two of the technicians ran over and picked up the man. "I'm telling you,
it's one of the downsides to working for an evil super-genius."
"Yeah, but the pays good."
Meanwhile, the head technician, Dr. Clay, and Kagato were discussing
possibilities.
"I'm telling you, Kagato, we'll never be able to get the armor to move,
until we find someone who can move this gauge."
"Which one?"
"This one, right here. The one jumping all over the place...JUMPING ALL
OVER THE PLACE?!"
Indeed, the gauge was moving rapidly, and pointing towards Kagato and Ryoko.
"Then this means...Kagato, you're-"
"Not me, Octopus-head! The girl! Strap her in!"
"But she's you're granddaughter!"
"So? That means she has even more life insurance."
Later, after the other technicians returned, and the Oubo was fully repaired,
they jumped Ryoko, and chained her into the robot. Then they ran behind
a large plate of armor.
"Hey! Let me out of here! Hmph! I'll show you! This is what you get
for putting me in this ugly armor!"
Ryoko struggled. Then a red aura started to grow around her. Slowly, the
Oubo's arm rose. The technicians jumped and cheered.
"Take this bastards!" Ryoko said as she fired the Oubo's arm cannon,
taking out one of the technicians.
"But Kagato." Dr. Clay said, from the elevated observation deck that
he and Kagato were safely in. "I thought we weren't going to load the gun until
after testing."
"Yes," Kagato said as he watched his granddaughter step on the second
technician, before chasing after the third. "Well, I'm trying to kill off all the
people who helped me create this, so I can take all the credit and rewards. But it
has to look like an accident, so I don't go to jail."
"Ahh, a brilliant plan."
"That includes you."
"What?!"
"Look. I'm an evil super-genius. Deal with it!" With that, Kagato
shoved Clay off the platform, and to his grizzly death.
Back at Nobuyuki's office, his teletype started spitting out a long stream
of paper with an intricate message written in punched dots. Nobuyuki raced over,
leapt over his desk, and fell on the other side. He groaned, picked himself up,
and began studying the paper.
"This is amazing! It's absolutely incredible."
"What does it say?" Yosho asked, as he stepped into the room.
"I have no idea. How am I supposed to read it? It's just a bunch of
dots! But look. Right here! It forms a duck!
"Looks more like a rabbit to me."
"No, it's a duck."
"Rabbit!"
"Duck!"
"Wabbit!"
"Duck!"
"Wabbit Season!"
"Duck Season!"
Meanwhile, on a cafe balcony in China, a tall blackhaired woman was
interviewing a young chinese girl, with spikey red hair, which resembled a crab if
you looked at it right. The hair, not the girl! *slaps reader in the face.*
Baka!
"Ooh! We're going to Japan?" The girl said in perfect Japanese. "Oooh!
I can run tests on Mount Fuji!"
"How do you know Japanese?" Achika asked.
"I can fluently speak over 200 different languages. I am, after all, the
Greatest Scientific Mind on the Planet. All things in moderation."
"You call that moderation?" Achika sweatdropped.
"You don't know the half of it." Washu grinned maniacally.
"Well, I'm here to recruit you for..."
"Kanzaki Heavy Industries?"
"How did you...nevermind."
"Well, Kanzaki Heavy Industries is the world's most prestigious arms
developer. Run by a close friend of mine, Kagato! Well, we were close...we had a
falling out a few years back."
"What happened?"
"Well, I wouldn't support his bid for world domination. He said things, I
said things. And we haven't spoken since."
"Have you considered trying to talk to him?"
"No! Not until he admits that he was absolutely wrong, in absolutely
every way, about absolutely everything!"
"Oh well, so much for seeing the end of that in this lifetime...or the
next."
Near a shinto shrine in the remote snowy mountains of Japan, a young lady
with long purple hair (and when I say long purple hair, I mean long purple hair.
You have no idea how long this hair is. It goes to the frikken ground! I mean...
Audience: Get on with it! Right, anyway, onto scene 24 where there aren't any
swallows but you might here a starling in the *twang*) flowing down her back in two
long braids, (read it through again and you'll get it) sat staring at an obisidian
memorial. In deep engraved letters it read: "This space for rent." Below that,
and in no way less important, it read: "Azusa Shinguchi."
A remarkably round and cylindrical man floated over and held an unbrella
above the woman's head.
"Ayeka. GET OUT OF THE SNOW!!!!!!!"
Ayeka promptly facefaulted. Then she said. "Azaka. First, NEVER DO THAT
AGAIN! Second, why did my father sacrifice himself?"
"He did it to save the Juraian Empire."
"What's the Juraian Empire?"
"Actually, I made that up. I thought it sounded better than saying 'I
dunno.'"
Ayeka facefaulted...again. She lay still for a long time. A starling
chirped in the background.
"Ayeka? Lady Ayeka? Are you alright?"
Suddenly, Ayeka lept to her feet, yelling "RUN! TERMITES!"
"What?! Help!!!...DON'T DO THAT!"
In a large, cavernous warehouse, (A different one) Nobuyuki was giving the
rundown for the vehicles for the capital defense force to Yosho.
"Gee, we have a lot of large, cavernous warehouses. Anyway, The capital
defense force is entering it's second year..."
"Why are you making that face?"
"I'm practicing my evil look."
"Save the evil look for Dr. Kagato, you look rediculous."
"Moving on." Nobuyuki said sullenly. "We have the Zepplin, Ryu-oh..."
"Why is made of wood?"
"...the bullet train, Yukinojo..."
"It looks more like a space ship than a train."
"...and the battleship, Shoja."
"Now that is one big battleship!"
"Any questions?"
"Yes, why is the blimp made of wood, and why does the train look like a
space ship?"
"No questions? Good." Nobuyuki turned to leave. He paused for a second
then muttered, "duck."
"Wabbit!"
Suddenly, a fist slammed into the face of a young man. The fist belongs to
a tall dark skinned woman with blonde curly hair. (And it was also decently poofy.
I mean, not afro length but certainly sticks out from her head in a somewhat wild-ow!
*gets hit in head by a large green haired man wearing glowing white armor with the
letters KOME embossed on it* Okay, moving on.) The man tettered and fell to the deck,
where several others lay.
"I'm Mihoshi Karishima, inheritor of the Karishima style of karate. And
your blonde jokes hurt my feelings!!"
While leaning on the rail of the ship, for that is where they are, Achika
said, "Mihoshi, sometimes you need to tone it down."
"Oh, Miss Achika!" Mihoshi leapt forward to hug Achika, but tripped on the
wet deck and slammed into the railing. "Ow."
"See what I mean?"
"Um, what was question?"
"Nevermind. I'm here to recruit you for the Capital Defense Force."
"Oh really? That sounds fun. I'll join up!"
"But I haven't told you what it is?"
"Who cares. It beats hanging out with these losers."
"Okay." Achika shrugs, as she walked off.
Achika entered a posh cabin, and ducked as a small brown plush toy with a
rabbits body and a cats head floated past. Throughout the room various small
objects were floating around. On a frilly pink bed sat a young girl with large pink
eyes and long (Not as long as Ayeka's however, but still very long. In fact at her
height, it still *blam* Okay, moving on.) blue hair tied in two pig tails.
"Sasami. I thought I told you to clean up your room."
"No, you zaid to get all ze junk off ze floor." Sasami said in a thick
French accent.
"That's not what I meant." Achika sighed.
"But that's what you said." She giggled.
"What happened to your accent?"
"Oops, I mean, um, I don't know what you're talking about."
"Anyway, I'm here to recruit you for the-"
"Kanzaki Heavy Industriesn Capital Defense Project?"
"How did-"
"Washu told me all about it. I like it. It's muy bueno!"
"That's Spanish!"
"Oops!"
"Speaking of Washu, where did she-" Achika was cut off, again, by a loud
explosion which rocked the deck violently. "What was that?"
Washu came running into the room. "Hey, do either of you have a couple
square feet of sheet metal and some sealant or a blowtorch?"
"Washu, what did you do now?"
"I definitely didn't blow a hole in the hull."
"Washu!!"
"I'm fixing it."
Suddenly two miniature Washu's popped up on her shoulders, one sporting a
trendy A on her dress, while the other went for the more subtle B look.
"Washu you're the-"
"NOT NOW!"
Later, on the deck, which was slightly lower than it was before. Achika
was having dinner with a tall woman with long (but not like Ayeka's or Sasami's but
still long in its...okay, please don't hurt me. We'll continue.) dark green hair.
"So why do you want to defend the capitol?" Kiyone asked.
"Because I have a lot of fond memories there...of Noboyuki...before he
died."
"But isn't he still alive?"
Achika paused a second, then smiled. Under her breath she whispered. "Shut
up with the plot holes!"
"Ahem, right. I mean, I also have fond memories, of Operative A and my
secret love for him..what the..." Kiyone paused and pulled out a large stack of
papers which read 'Script for Royal Teardrop Wars.' "What?! I never loved him!
I mean we dated for a month or so, but it didn't work out! Um, sorry for that loss
of profesionalism."
"You we're saying?"
"I will join you. We must protect our memories."
"Yeah, that's why I keep mine locked in a vault guarded by Pirhana Poodles."
Achika opened her mouth and suddenly...
There was a small metal room.
"What the hell kind of wipe was that?" Kagato asked. "It doesn't even mean
anything. I seriously hope somebody got fired for that."
(Yes, somebody was fired. Now go back to your lines before we fire you too.)
"Oh, right, like you could find a replacement for me."
(There's always Makoto Mizuhara. He's looking for work.)
"He's not a mad scientist!"
(That's why he wasn't our first choice. But he's a good actor, he might be
able to pull it off.)
"Curse you Makoto Mizuhara. Anyway, my granddaughter will name the three
Oubo's."
"They should be named..." Ryoko muttered as she studied them. "The three
Colored Oni!"
The only surviving technician face faulted. "You do realize that we're
fighting the demons."
"I know."
"And you don't think that this could get just a little confusing."
"Shut up! It's my Oubo, I'll name it what I want!"
"Yes." Kagato grinned. "The Oni will be fine. Now it's your job to paint
them. One blood red. One brush-metal blue. One twilight purple. And I want them
all done tonight!" He said tossing the technician a (small) paintbrush.
"Um, are you sure there's enough ventalation in this room?"
"Yes, I'm positive."
"But it's airtight!"
"Look you'll do what I tell you to!" Kagato said as he pulled Ryoko out of
the room, and closed the airlock with a hiss.
In the central room of the Shinguchi shrine, stood a large tree. (They're
Juraian. Deal with it. Audience But Azaka said-Silence!) Embedded in the side
of the tree, was a small celtically braided sword hilt. Before it, was the girl
with the long hair, which I mentioned in scene twenty- *bow string creak* Okay,
moving on. Ayeka was sitting in meditation before the tree and the sword. Thinking
on her actions, she slowly reached forward, to take the sword...
Only to be smashed into the floor by Funaho's large hammer.
"Couldn't you just slap me on the wrist?!"
"We're Japanese. We prefer tough love, not slap-on-the-wrist punishment."
Misaki stepped next to Funaho. "Aren't you supposed to talk in a whisper?"
"Hrmphfarumphana."
"Your grandmother says that the sword, Tenchi-ken, is not something that you
take. It is something you are offered."
"Mother. Why can't Grandmother Funaho be more normal?"
Misaki's only response was to glare forboddenly at her daughter.
"I mean...Mommy! Why can't Grandma be nice-nice?"
"I don't know, pumpkin." Misaki said as she pulled her daughter into a bone
crushing hug. "But I'll always love you, no matter how mean she is."
Misaki was the next to recieve Funaho's mallet. "How come I always have to
be the tough parent?!"
"You're supposed to MUMBLE!!"
"Hrmphfarumphana."
"What did she say, mother?"
"I can't translate that. We have to keep a PG rating."
At a large and cavernous ballroom (Haha, you thouth I was going to say
warehouse, didn't ya), Kagto was announcing his succes in the creation of the Oobo
"...and I told him that the room was poorly ventilated, but he said he
wanted to get these painted in time for this Gala ball. And with his dying breath
he said to me 'Kagato, my master, take all of the credit and my life insurance
money. You deserve it.' Yes he loved me as a fther, and I loved him as a son. Not
a good son, more like a fat and lazy one, but a son none the less..and now..."
In the corner of the room, Ryoko yawned. "Jeeze, the old man sure can talk.
I just take my picture and split this dull place." She took the picture of her and the
Oubo's off the wall, only to discover that there was a secret vault behind it. Two
seconds later, after she had cracked the safe, she looked inside and said, "Cool!
The life insurance money. Oh well, finders keepers!"
Ryoko looked around, and darted out the door, right as Kagato said, "And
now, to give a speech on the workings of the Oubo, is my talented granddaughter,
Ryoko...Ryoko? Where'd she go. I'd better go find her."
Ryoko sped out the door, and lept into the waiting limo.
"Is the party over already?" The young driver said, peering over his shades
at Ryoko.
"More or less, Rei-kun, my pimp and driver. Let's get out of here!"
"Where to?"
"To the bad side of town. Let's go slumming."
"Okay, but we have to be back early. I booked you a commercial shooting
tomorrow morning."
"Yay!" A young girl with brown pigtails yelled. "We're going slumming!"
"Who the hell are you?!"
Sasami, Mihoshi, and Kiyone walked past the rows of tents in the carnival.
"What did Mr. Noboyuki say?" Mihoshi asked.
"He said to have as much fun as you legally can now, because we'll be
working non-stop for the next year or so." Kiyone sighed.
"Yay! Fun!"
"I too vill haf foon vith yoo." Sasami chimed in.
"French! Not German!"
"Oops! Excuise moi, mon capitan."
"Where's my advil?" Kiyone sighed as she rummaged through her purse.
"Ooh! Look what I can do!" Sasami smiled.
Kiyone looked, then downed the entire bottle of advil.
"Sasami! Stop telkinetically juggling people!"
"You are no fun. I did noting wrong!" Sasami cried as she bolted away.
Her former juggling items, fell to the ground in a heap.
"Ow!"
"Ooof!"
"My arm!"
"My spleen!"
"My gahartsenflas!"
"Your what?"
"Damn Germans!"
"Sasami! Come back!" Kiyone yelled.
"I'll get her!" Mihoshi cheered as she charged after her, only to trip on
the pile of people. "Ow! My gahartsenflas!"
"You don't even know what that is!" The German yelled.
"Does anybody have any more advi...What's that?!"
"That's the Great Bell, which was given to us by our shogun in Meji year-"
"Not the bell! The sickening dropping feeling I just had!"
"I don't know. Maybe you took too much advil."
Suddenly a Xenomor-I mean, Demon, *wink wink* appeared.
"Hey. With Alein Ressurection done, a guys gotta get work somewhere."
Anyway, hey! Put me down! *Narrator is carried away by copyright lawyers*
the huge demon charged forward...(voice fades away into the distance.)
"Now what do we do?"
"Oh! I know. We do it like radio. Look...a vicious MONster is carving...
a path of de...struc...tion through the CARniVAL."
"I thought we fired you, William! Anyway! The demon is going after Sasami!
Let's go Mihoshi!"
"But my gahartsenflas..."
"Your Gahartsa-whatever is fine! Just move!"
I'm back! The *huff* two girls ran *puff puff* after the large xeno-I mean
demon-who was *gasp* drawing ever closer *puff* towards Sasami. Look out Sasami!
"Hey!" The demon yeled. "No helping!"
As the demon pulled up behind Sasami, she spun around and planted a finger
directly on his nose.
"Tag! You're it! You're it! Can't catch moi!"
"Oh yeah!" The demon roared. Sasami laughed at the demon before teleporting
away.
"What the-" Kiyone muttered.
"Holy shi-"
"Hey! PG rating. PG rating!"
"Sorry Kiyone."
Meanwhile, at the lab.
"Washu!" Achika yelled as she burst into the lab. "The others are under
attack. They need your help!"
"Never fear! Washu, the great scientist will-" *BOOM!*
Achika just managed to close the door befor the explosion filled the room.
Cautiously she re-opened the door and looked in on the charred remains of the lab.
"I'll give you five minutes" She sighed before closing the door again.
"Washu!" The Washu-bots chimed. "You're the-"
"Just shut up."
Back at the carnival.
"Got any twos?"
"Go fish."
Guys! You're on!
"Oh, zorry. Hahaha! You weel nevah catch moi!"
"Sasami! Stop taunting the demon." Mihoshi yelled. "Teleport closer to
us!"
Kiyone stared dumbfounded at Mihoshi.
"What? Everybody shines occassionally."
"Whatever." Kiyone sighed as she took out her gun. "We have to catch up
with them."
Finally, the demon cornered Sasami at the top of the clock tower. Sasami
shimmered again, but this time did not teleport.
"Oh, no! I am out of juiz! Fu-"
"PG Rating!" Mihoshi yelled, as she burst out onto the catwalk.
"Zorry."
Mihoshi threw herself in front of Sasami as the xeno-I mean demon spat a
spray of acid out of a rather un-xenomorph-like tongue.
"Hey. I hath intachangabal pahtth."
Whatever. Mishoshi punched the acid straight back at the demon.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! It burns!"
"Mihoshi! Only you could be that stupid!"
"Hey! Kanna did that too!"
"Who's Kanna?"
"Um, I don't know what you're talking about."
"Hello?" The demon called out. "Big scary Xenomorph, I mean demon, over
here!"
"Oh, yeah." Sasami said, as she turned to the demon. "Yoo hurt my friend.
Now yoo learn ze most important lezzon!"
"What, that I shouldn't open my big mouth?"
"No. Never Pizz me off! Tzunami Zlave!" Sasami yelled as she hurled a huge
energy bolt at the demon.
"Shouldn't there be water included?"
"It's not that kind of Tsunami. Never mind!"
Suddenly, a huge beam of energy burst through part of the building, flew
right over Mishoshi's head, and smashed into the monstrous demon.
"My dimensional cannon worked! Now I just need to attach it to my eye
platform thingy-um, nevermind."
"Nice shot Washu!" Achika cheered. "But did you have to shoot THROUGH the
building?"
"It would've taken longer to go around it. Now to finish him off! With my
Washu-class atomic missle launcher!" Washu picked up a really large bazooka, aimed
it at the demon, and pulled the trigger.
There was a giant explosion! Unfortunately, it was where Washu was, and not
the demon.
"Washu! You are-"
"NOT NOW!"
But being hit with acid, shot with holy energy, then hit by a dimensional
beam cannon, and falling off a very tall tower was just slightly more than the
demon could take. It crashed into the ground, and lay motionless for a moment,
before cryptically called out "Rosebud" and slowly faded away.
Ayeka sat still in front of the tree which held the magic sword Tenchi-ken.
"The sword, Tenchi-ken, is not something that you take. It is something you
are-aw screw the sword! How am I going to get away from this dream-oppressing
family!"
Suddenly, the Tenchi-ken pulled out of the tree, revealing a solid blue
blade, which glowed with a soft energy. (But it isn't an energy blade, it's made
out of metal, and it's curved. So stop thinking that.) It hung in the air as it
slowly floated out towards the door.
Ayeka, still lost in thought of how to escape her family, didn't notice.
The sword floated back, and rapped the door several times to get her attention.
When she still didn't react, it floated over to her, and smacked her in the back of
the head with it's hilt.
"Ow! Sorry! Excuse me for having problems of my own. Alright! Alright!
I'll follow you. Sheesh! Everybody's always telling me what to do."
Ayeka got up and followed the blade out into the bamboo woods. Eventually
it stopped. It spun in the air, before slowly stopping, pointing towards the north.
"You want me to go to Honshu?"
The sword shook itself, then pointed south.
"Hokaido?"
It shook again, then pointed north-west.
"Kobei?!"
West.
"Shikoku?"
South east, although it wasn't very sure anymore.
"Tokyo?"
The sword nodded vigorously.
"Oh! I see! I must go to Tokyo!"
"Where'd we get that sword?" Misaki asked as she peered out from behind a
clump of bamboo.
"It was forged by the great wandering swordmaster, Ryoga Hibiki."
"If he was a wndering swordmaster, shouldn't it have a good sense of
direction?"
"No. Ryoga wandered because he couldn't find his way home."
"Oh."
A young, dark skinned boy with a shaved head, was sighing as he looked at
latest paper.
"Can you believe this? It says the carnival was saved by three beautiful
girls, but you can't even see them in their picture. It's all blurry."
"Well, Tenchi. Maybe one of them used psycho-kinetic powers, to blur the
film thus hiding their features from the populous."
"Will, you get real, Mizuhara? That's almost as rediculous as your idea
about alternate dimensions."
"Makoto Mizuhara! I shall-"
"Shut up Jinnai!" Tenchi yelled. "It's your fault we're on KP duty in the
first place!"
Suddenly, a large fat man with a red nose, in a Captain uniform appeared
behind them. "And you better get back to it!"
"Yes, Captain Amagasaki!" The three saluted, as they grabbed their mops
and started washing the deck.
"Damn Amagasaki! I'll show him. One day, I'll have my own anime, and the
only part he'll have is being punched in the nose!"
"I heard that!"
Kagato walked into Noboyuki's office.
"I'm taking the Shoja."
"Ahh! Dr. Kagato! How's the progress on the Oubo coming? Did you get over
that little snag?"
"Snag? We've completed three Oubo, and have three more in production.
Didn't you get my message over the tele-type?"
"No, but we got this!" Noboyuki held up the hole-punch paper. "It looks
just like a duck!"
"Wabbt!" Yosho yelled as he barged into the room.
"Duck!"
"That's my message!" Kagato cried. "And it looks more like a ferret than
anything else."
"Duck!"
"Wabbit!"
"Duck!"
"Wabbit!"
"You guys need help. I'm taking the Shoja, wether you like it or not."
"Duck!"
"Wabbit!"
Kagato rolled his eyes as he stormed out of the office.
"Prepare to launch the Shoja!" Kagato yelled. The crew scrambled all around
as they prepared the massive battleship.
Soon, they were plowing across the seas. Kagato was scanning the shoreline
with his binoculars.
"Ryoko! Ryoko! Where are you?! Hey! Dolphins, how peaceful and
motivating." Kagato took out his blowhorn. "Open fire, starboard!
Three o' clock."
The machine guns echoed through the night as they fired into the sea. The
dolphins suffering was short, and soon there was nothing but calm red water.
On the shore, a tall doctor with an evil face stared out at the carnage.
"Now how am I supposed to make my fanfic?"
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Well, there it is. C&C is REALLY wanted. If we get enough (good) feedback we'll
write more.