title: "Duck!"
author: Casix Thistlebane
Author's note: this story is the first in a new
series, called the
sound checks. They are stories made up entirely of
dialog and sound
effects.
Disclaimer: Don't own these guys, never have, never
will. I also am not
making any money. Oh yeah, I wrote this at 1:30 in
the morning, so it
may be a little.... odd.
"Duck!"
by Casix Thistlebane
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
*THUNK*
"Gaooooowwwwww!!"
"I said, æDuck,'"
"I didn't think you meant it LITERALLY!"
"Quack."
"Giles, what kind of insane force of evil is this?"
"I'm afraid, Willow--"
*FWOOSH*
"Quack!"
"--That I don't know."
"I think that thing bit my nose off!"
"Oh, quit whining, Xander, it's just a duck."
"It bit your nose off?"
*FWOOSH*
"Quack?"
"Almost."
"But your nose is still attached to your face?"
*FWOOSH*
"Honk!"
"Yes, barely."
"Good. Cause if it got out that I was dating a boy
with no nose--"
*FWOOSH*
"MOOO!"
"Was that a COW?!"
"How the hell are we supposed to fight this thing?"
"Haven't the foggiest."
*FWOOSH*
"Honk!"
"Oh good, they're back to the ducks."
"Actually, that was a goose."
*FWAP*
*THUNK*
"Bacaw!"
"Um guys? Cordy was just taken out by a rooster."
"Right. Perhaps we ought to, uh, take cover."
"Brilliant, Sherlock, how do you do it?"
"Shut up, Xander. The only question is, where?"
*CREEEE-THUMP. CRASH*
"There. Insta-barrier."
"My computer!"
"Sorry Will, casualty of war. Now come on, everyone
behind the table!"
*CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP*
"Now what?"
"Someone will have to go over there and figure out
who... or what... our
enemy is."
"Right. I'll go."
"Why should you go?"
"Well, I already demonstrated my skills on yonder
table. And besides,
I'm the only guy here."
"Achem."
"Oh, come on, Giles, you're old."
*WHAP!*
"Ow! What?"
"Never mind. I'm going."
"You most certainly are not. As the eldest and most
experienced, it is
I who must--Xander, get back here!"
"Too late! Cover me!"
"With what?"
*FWOOSH*
"Squee!"
"Oh, I don't know, that pig might do the trick."
"He's right. We should start throwing some of the
livestock back."
*FWOOSH*
"Quack!"
"Moo?"
"Willow, could you help me with this calf?!"
"Hold on."
*FWOOSH*
"Bacaw!"
"Okay, now I can help you."
"Xander, look out!"
*FWABAP*
"Squack!"
"Ow!"
"Aren't those extinct?"
"Not anymore,"
"Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh--"
*THUDONK*
"Ooooooo,"
"All's clear guys, I got the animal tosser!"
"Good job, Xander, who is it?"
"It's-- Hey, where'd he go?"
"I though you had him!"
"So did I."
"The animals are gone too."
"How odd. Now, as I was saying...."
The End?
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
author: Casix Thistlebane
Author's note: this story is the first in a new
series, called the
sound checks. They are stories made up entirely of
dialog and sound
effects.
Disclaimer: Don't own these guys, never have, never
will. I also am not
making any money. Oh yeah, I wrote this at 1:30 in
the morning, so it
may be a little.... odd.
"Duck!"
by Casix Thistlebane
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
*THUNK*
"Gaooooowwwwww!!"
"I said, æDuck,'"
"I didn't think you meant it LITERALLY!"
"Quack."
"Giles, what kind of insane force of evil is this?"
"I'm afraid, Willow--"
*FWOOSH*
"Quack!"
"--That I don't know."
"I think that thing bit my nose off!"
"Oh, quit whining, Xander, it's just a duck."
"It bit your nose off?"
*FWOOSH*
"Quack?"
"Almost."
"But your nose is still attached to your face?"
*FWOOSH*
"Honk!"
"Yes, barely."
"Good. Cause if it got out that I was dating a boy
with no nose--"
*FWOOSH*
"MOOO!"
"Was that a COW?!"
"How the hell are we supposed to fight this thing?"
"Haven't the foggiest."
*FWOOSH*
"Honk!"
"Oh good, they're back to the ducks."
"Actually, that was a goose."
*FWAP*
*THUNK*
"Bacaw!"
"Um guys? Cordy was just taken out by a rooster."
"Right. Perhaps we ought to, uh, take cover."
"Brilliant, Sherlock, how do you do it?"
"Shut up, Xander. The only question is, where?"
*CREEEE-THUMP. CRASH*
"There. Insta-barrier."
"My computer!"
"Sorry Will, casualty of war. Now come on, everyone
behind the table!"
*CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP*
"Now what?"
"Someone will have to go over there and figure out
who... or what... our
enemy is."
"Right. I'll go."
"Why should you go?"
"Well, I already demonstrated my skills on yonder
table. And besides,
I'm the only guy here."
"Achem."
"Oh, come on, Giles, you're old."
*WHAP!*
"Ow! What?"
"Never mind. I'm going."
"You most certainly are not. As the eldest and most
experienced, it is
I who must--Xander, get back here!"
"Too late! Cover me!"
"With what?"
*FWOOSH*
"Squee!"
"Oh, I don't know, that pig might do the trick."
"He's right. We should start throwing some of the
livestock back."
*FWOOSH*
"Quack!"
"Moo?"
"Willow, could you help me with this calf?!"
"Hold on."
*FWOOSH*
"Bacaw!"
"Okay, now I can help you."
"Xander, look out!"
*FWABAP*
"Squack!"
"Ow!"
"Aren't those extinct?"
"Not anymore,"
"Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh--"
*THUDONK*
"Ooooooo,"
"All's clear guys, I got the animal tosser!"
"Good job, Xander, who is it?"
"It's-- Hey, where'd he go?"
"I though you had him!"
"So did I."
"The animals are gone too."
"How odd. Now, as I was saying...."
The End?
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\