The Return of a Promise

by JaiWong

What happens to a man who had loses too much, too quickly? POV Cid Highwind as he remembers a life before we knew him both sad and sweet. That was years ago and he now must say goodbye and return a promise made long ago.

Disclaimer: Cid ain't mine. He belongs to Squaresoft, dammit. Everyone else is mine, so hands off. The plane registration numbers and airport info is taken from existing airports as well.

The Return of a Promise

Well, I'm back again. Huh, guess you didn't expect to see me again so soon, right? I mean, it's only been what, about fifteen years? You always said I'd probably drop when I hit forty five, have a heart attack and fall right outta that damn plane, eh?

Sorry.

You always hated it when I cursed, remember? Of course you do. I'd come home from working all day in that grease pit, and you'd bring me dinner- and tea, of course- and let me put my boots all over the table, getting grease onto everything, and you'd never say a word. But the minute I opened my mouth to swear, you'd just tear right into me. Lotta spunk for such a tiny woman. Why I fell in love with you, I guess.

But anyway...

I brought flowers, this time. I remember how you always loved flowers. 'Specially those tiny little primroses. Couldn't find any this time, but I stopped and got you some violets. You liked violets, didn't you?

I guess I don't really remember the details too well.

The years haven't exactly been easy on me. Got a lot more grays than I did when you were around. That damn- that Shera's given me quite a few of 'em, but I suppose she's kept a lot of them away, too. She might be a lousy scientist, but she can brew one helluva cupa tea. Not quite like you could, but it's not bad.

Okay. I'm beating it around the bush. I know. Guess I'm a little scared. Huh, never thought you'd hear those words outta my mouth, didja? You always knew, though. Always knew that behind all my talk, my tough words, you knew I was scared. Never brought it up, though. Never challenged me with it. And I never really thanked you for that.

Lots of things I never thanked you for. It was the kinda person I was. Didn't really know how, just couldn't say the words. But you knew that. You knew that the minute you met me. And in spite of it, you fell in love with me, even though you knew I'd probably never be like other guys, never hold you, never talk to you, never get close to you. Never say I was sorry.

But you knew what you were getting into. You were always smart like that. Could read people better than I could read blueprints. I never did figure you out completely, always wondered why you bothered with some coarse, rough talking pilot when you could had anyone you wanted. Guess I'll never know.

I remember the day I met you, and I can honestly say that it was the day I fell in love with you. Some people, they don't believe in love at first sight, but that day, I was convinced. You were so pretty, standing there on the deck, the wind blowing through your short blond hair. And I could tell, even from across the ship, you shared a love for the air, just like I did. From that first moment, there was nothing I wanted more than to take you up in my Tiny Bronco, just you and me and the clouds...

* * *

"81 Bravo, this is Cessna 62085, back taxiing onto runway 33." I sat back in the left seat, letting the rudder steer me onto the blacktop. One thing I loved about planes, on the ground, you didn't need your hands, except to control the throttle. Feet on the pedals and you're good to go.

I let the little plane glide onto the run up area, ran through my checklist, scanned the sky one final time for incoming traffic, and took my feet off the brakes. Turning smoothly onto the runway, I stopped for a moment, halting to take one last breath on the ground. Then, slowly, I pushed the throttle in to full stop and let the plane take me down the runway. About halfway down, I pulled back on the yoke and watched as the airport shrank beneath me.

I loved all types of planes, of course, but I had a special affinity for open cockpits. There was just something about the feel of the wind in your hair and bite of the cold against your cheek. On a long flight like this, though, I needed my sturdy little Cessna 172. Good plane, but not what I would have preferred. I checked my instruments, all showed steady climb of about 1000 feet per minute. Good. I rose to about 3300 feet and let the plane level off.

Now was the tough part: waiting it out. I had a good two and a half hours to go before I needed to start doing some fine tune navigation. For the first half hour, I kept the plane straight and level, but I got bored pretty quick with that.

"Aw, hell," I said. I had full fuel tanks, some maneuvering wouldn't hurt.

First, I took the little plane through all it's motions, some S-turns, power-on and -off stalls. Alone, this far from an airport, I didn't dare to emergency simulations, but I did some slow-flight for a time, cutting back on the power until I had to fight the yoke just to keep the nose up. Follow that with some simulated landing procedures, and I was entertained.

Before I knew it, I found myself over the other continent. "Shit!" I shouted, as I scrambled to find my flight bag. I pulled out some maps and leafed through them until I found the one I was looking for. Okay, a few more miles and I'd be right over the Chocobo Farm.

'Cuz of the direction of wind currents, I had decided to head due west of Rocket Town and come around the other side of the Midgar Continent, take less time that way. Some people, they don't quite get how that works. But if you got a tailwind going west, when you want to go east, it's easier to ride the wind in the opposite direction than to fight it the whole way headed east. Regardless of which direction you start out, you'll eventually get to wherever you're going. They say that in earlier times, people thought the earth was flat. Don't see quite how they could make such a dumb mistake; I mean, all they had to do was jump in a plane and keep flying. In time, they'd fly right back over their starting point-

I chuckled as a bunch of Chocobos scattered at my low approach. That kid Billy ran out of the stables yelling something, he sure looked mad. The little girl, though, she dashed out behind him, waving and smiling. Chole's got that little something that ties people and planes together.

"Live with it, Bill," I muttered as I past over them. "It ain't my problem your little Chocos can't handle a little noise. This is my space, up here. Just be thankful I didn't land in the middle of your pasture."

I continued on, over the swamps leading to the mithril mines. I was tempted to fly low and see how close I could get to that giant snake thingy, but I didn't want to risk damage to the plane.

Staying on my heading of east, I flew over the mountains and rivers below me, watching the world pass by, a whir of green and blue. Goddamn, I loved that feeling, the exhilaration of being in the air. Not as strong as when you're in an open cockpit, but there nonetheless.

Taking care to avoid Midgar, the haze and smog lent to bad visibility, I set up for my landing at Junon, 14.

"Junon traffic," I said into the mike. "Cessna 62085, Junon traffic, please advise." There was no tower at Junon, the traffic had to be managed by the planes themselves.

"Cessna 085, I hear you. Piper Malibu, 'bout five miles to the north, coming up on downwind." Nothing to worry about, I'd be on the ground by the time he came along.

"Cessna 085." This time, I started. That was a woman's voice on the mike! It surprised me, you didn't find many woman pilots.

"Cessna 085, this is Cessna 4 niner Yankee on base leg ."

I looked, but didn't see her. "I'm looking," I said.

"Three miles off runway 14."

There. I saw her. A little blue striped Cessna 150, smaller than my 172, but lighter to handle. I personally never like 'em, too flimsy. "Cessna 4 niner, I got you. Entering downwind runway 14."

I knew that by the time I had the numbers off my left shoulder, she'd be on the ground. Sure enough, as I cut the power, she was clear the active. I turned on to base, then final. Perfect. Speed just right, not too high, not to low. This was going to be a nice one.

Without a single bounce, I set my wheels down and slowed to a smooth halt. Of all the things I love about flying, landings were my favorite. The precision of the setup, the final glide, and then, if everything was set up just so, the satisfaction of the initial bump as the wheels hit the pavement, followed by a smooth roll out.

"Cessna 085, clear the active." As I taxied off the runway, I caught sight of the Piper that had called the approach to downwind. I watched as it turned downwind, then base, then final. It was a bit high on the final leg, but it made it down with about 100 feet of runway to spare. Not terrible, but cutting it way too close for me.

It took me a while to get the plane shut down, then I had to go searching for a place to tie it down. Looping the ropes through the hoops beneath the wings, my hands tied the quick release knots by themselves while my mind wandered towards other things.

Somehow, I had to get my sorry ass over to Junon harbor in time to catch the six fifteen ferry. Once aboard, I and a some other crew members would be taken out to a carrier located somewhere north east of Costa Del Sol. From there, we'd board an experimental craft, the Airship Claudia.

I felt my heartbeat quicken as I thought of the ship. The crew would consist of assorted pilots, scientists and engineers. If the ship was deemed functional, one of us would receive a grant from ShinRa Inc. to begin working on one ourselves. Building your own airship! I knew who I was hoping would get that grant. Need I say who?

After I finished tying down the plane, I grabbed my flight bag and my precious leather bomber jacket and dashed out the gate. I just managed to catch the last Chocobo Buggy, and collapsed into one of the back seats.

"Come a long way?"

Seated next to me was a young man, about ten years my junior, which would make him somewhere around twenty five. He grinned and held out his hand. "Luke Larsen, private pilot. I think you saw me make that long field landing out there in my Piper."

I nodded and took his hand. "Cid Highwind."

His eyes widened. "Cid Highwind?" he asked in disbelief. "Captain Cid?"

I nodded again, amused.

"I heard about you- you were in the Wutai wars!" He shook my hand vigorously. "You were a hero!" he went on, taking no notice of the other passengers' stares. "They say you single handedly out-flew, out-maneuvered and out-fought every one of the enemy planes!"

"A bit of a stretch," I said, removing my hand from his enthusiastic grip. "I did fly the old war birds, but I sure as hell didn't take on the entire enemy fleet. Got in a couple of dogfights and lived to tell about them, but I sure wasn't a hero."

"But-" Luke opened his mouth to argue, but thankfully, the Buggy stopped. We were there.

"I'll be seein' you," I said as I stepped onto the platform. Shouldering my flight bag, I walked into Junon.

Ugh.

One of the many things that I've always hated about big cities was the smell. I was in Midgar once, for all of a day, and the smell of dirt and manufacturing almost drove me up a wall. Now, I don't mind the clean smells of oil and grease, it's smells like work. But the dirt, and smog everywhere, I just can't deal with it.

Junon, well, Junon was unique. There were the metal smells, coming from the air docks up top, and there were the bilge and steam smells from the ships. Take that and mix it with dead fish and seawater, ugh. I wanted to empty my stomach right over the side of the harbor.

I ran through the streets, hopping a steam car when I could. Shouldering my way through the crowds, I slowly made my way to the harbor. Figgers, it's at the other side of the bloody town.

I made it, with five minutes to spare. I practically threw my ticket at the guard and jumped aboard. I made my way to the top of the ferry, trying to find some clean air.

"Well, well." A voice beside me made me jump. I cursed, trying to cover up my surprise. "It seems we just keep running into each other."

Seated next to me was the young man I had met on the Buggy, and I'll be damned if I could remember his name.

"Luke," he said, as if reading my mind. "Luke Larsen." Oh yeah.

"So you're going up there too, eh?" I tried to look interested, but I think I must have fell short.

"Yup. I've no hope of actually getting the grant, but I want the chance to get up on this baby."

"Uh," I said, or something similar. I honestly couldn't have cared less.

"So, tell me about yourself." I couldn't believe this kid.

"What about me?"

"Well, I don't know." He paused to think. "Tell me about the war."

"Huh." The war.

I closed my eyes, thinking about the roar of engines, the thunk of bullets hitting a metal fuselage. Thinking about the panic in my co-pilot's voice when he took a bullet himself.

"People glorify the war, kid," I said, not bothering to open my eyes. "After it's done, people who never set foot on a battlefield talk about the glory, the grandeur. They don't mention the people who died, the ones who were hurt, the ones who lost. They don't include the people who sweated blood and tears just to be buried in some unmarked grave. Yeah, they died for their cause, but they ain't here to care anymore." I opened my eyes, now, to look this Luke kid straight in the eye. "I lost friends in that war," I told him. "Good friends of mine. I had to sit there in the left seat while my co-pilot bled to death from a bullet in the chest. I looked my opponent in the eye while his plane went down in flames, knowing he wouldn't survive."

"But- but he was the enemy!" Luke protested.

"No, kid, he was a person." I grabbed his shoulder and made sure he heard every word I said. "He was a person, just like any one of us here on this ferry. He was a kid, just like you, just like I was. He bled, he felt pain, he died. He had family, relatives. If you want to go find them and tell him that they shouldn't mourn his loss because he was the enemy, be my guest." I turned and spat over the side of the moorings. "He was just some kid in a plane."

Luke didn't say a thing. I didn't really expect him to. For a second, I wondered whether that speech of mine was for him- or for me.

Just then, the ferry gave a jerk and was off, saving me from having to make further comment.

I sat in silence for the rest of the ride. To be honest, I couldn't tell you whether the kid stayed or went somewhere else, I just didn't notice.

Forty minutes later, we arrived at the air-carrier. I pushed all other thoughts aside then, and let the excitement take me. We walked around the deck, all twenty of us, headed to meet the other fifteen who were already on board. After a brief introductory/welcoming speech, we were all hustled over to the loading dock. The Airship was already soaring, mooring ropes kept her tethered to the dock. I could see a myriad of rope ladders hanging from her sides. I grabbed the nearest one and started climbing.

Let me tell you, with a fifteen pound flight bag over your shoulder- I'm not even gonna tell you what's in it- climbing up thirty feet or so isn't easy. But I was young, younger than I am now, and buoyed by excitement. Somehow or other, I made it up onto the deck without falling on my ass.

That's when I first saw her.

She was standing at the ship's prow, the wind whipping through her short blond hair. She looked so beautiful, standing there, so confident. She knew exactly what she was doing.

A crew member came up to her with a clipboard, asking her something. I didn't catch the words, but I did hear her voice. Well, well, what a coincidence.

I walked over to where she was standing and held out my hand. "Cessna 4 niner Yankee?"

She turned, surprised. Realization dawned in her eyes. "Cessna 085." She grinned as she took my hand. Her handshake was firm and dry. "That was a nice landing you did over at Junon field."

"Eh, thanks." I shrugged. "So what's your name?"

"Alexis March."

"Alexis," I repeated. "Nice name. I'm Cid."

She raised an eyebrow. Oh, shit. If she was gonna go all flighty on me like that kid, Luke-

But she didn't. "Captain Cid?" was all she said.

"Yep. Just call me Cid, though." Damn, but I was relieved. I discovered that I liked this girl. She was nice, and seemed to have a solid head on her shoulders.

"Okay." She grinned again. "So, Cid, why are you here?"

"Huh, same as everyone else. I want the thrill, and I want the grant." Hell, I wanted that grant more than anything. To be the first builder of a real, commercial airship- hell yeah.

"Ah." That was all she said.

"What?" I asked her. "Isn't that what you're here for too?"

"Not exactly." She shrugged. "I'm not here for the grant...I was the one who built this ship in the first place."

"Christ!" I stared at her in disbelief. "You- were the one that built this ship?"

"Well, I designed it, and I helped engineer it." She took in my shocked expression "Why are you so amazed? It's because I'm a woman, isn't it."

"N-no!" I exclaimed, recovering from the partial shock. "It's just that- wow." I suddenly realized I was acting exactly like Luke had, and tried to recover. I looked over the deck and up at the rigging. "You do good work."

"Thanks." She gave me a sideways look, as if trying to figure something out about me. Whatever it was, she must have liked it, because she beckoned for me to follow her down the deck.

We arrived at a small metal door. Looking around to make sure that no one was watching, she took out a key and unlocked the door.

"Come on," she told me, ducking through. Obediently, I followed.

She led us down a maze of passages, each hallway filled with doors. She stopped at a large, conspicuous iron door, unlocking it with another key.

"Here," she said, suddenly shouting in order to be heard above the din. We had stepped into what looked like the main engine room. She stood there, surrounded by gauges and steam, a labyrinth of pipes winding above her head. And my God, I had never seen anything more beautiful.

"Incredible!" I shouted to her, stepping inside. She took my hand and brought us in deeper, weaving around steam vats and coal furnaces until we arrived at a little clearing amongst the jungle of metal.

"So, what do you think?" she asked me. The noise had lessened, there was no longer any need to shout.

"It's great," I told her frankly. "You designed this all yourself?"

"Every bit." She reached up and grabbed hold of a sturdy pipe above her head and swung up onto it. "It's my playground, I guess you could say."

I laughed at that, the sight of her sitting among all those pipes. She grinned back at me, then turned serious. She swung down in front of me, taking my hands in her own. Gently, slowly, she reached up and kissed me.

Surprised, I almost pulled away. Then I began to relax, to return the kiss wholeheartedly. The heat from her body and the furnaces brought a sweat to my skin as I reached for her.

We made love amongst all those pipes, between the furnaces and the steam, amid the whistle of the gauges and hiss from broken vents. There had never been anything more beautiful, nothing more perfect.

Some time later, we lay together, her head on my shoulder.

I leaned down and whispered in her ear. "I love you."

"Hmm..." She snuggled down into my shoulder and smiled. "No words," she said. "Not yet."

I don't really remember the rest of the time I spent on the Airship. It's mostly a blur, with some brief moments of clarity. One thing I do remember is that I got the grant.

"We are pleased to announce," the ShinRa representative said. "We are pleased to announce that after much deliberation of the producers of the Airship Claudia, that the grant for commercial design goes to: Captain Cid Highwind!"

Do I need to mention that I was surprised?

Later, I found Alexis and asked if she had pulled some strings, since she was on the board of producers. She denied it, and I wanted to believe her, so I did. I never found out if it was really true. And to tell you the truth, I didn't care.

After we all left Claudia, Alexis came back to Rocket Town with me. There was never any question about it, I guess. We just assumed.

It took us a few years, but together we managed to design an airship even better than Claudia with the grant we got from ShinRa. The day we finaly completed the prints, I took her out for a celebratory flight.

We decided to go up to see the Great Glacier up by in the Northern Continent. Alexis told me that she always wanted to see the snow fields and ice floes at night. So we went up and headed north. I had wanted to take the Tiny Bronco, but it would be too cold up there for an open cockpit. We took the Cessna.

We flew for a good hour, banking circles around the Glacier peak, winging in low to catch the ice floes. When I glanced over, Alexis was enthralled by the ethereal beauty. All around us, the ice and snow glinted with blues and whites and silver. Despite the late hour, it was quite light out; the ice caught the light from the moon and reflected it over the fields. I sighed happily. How many people even knew about the potential beauty of this place?

Unfortunately, we were both so caught up with the sight that we forgot about the instruments. Night flying was a dangerous thing, when people aren't prepared, it's too easy for something to go wrong. Because we weren't paying attention to the instrument panel, neither of us noticed that we were losing altitude at an incredible rate until we were already down by 1000 feet. "Shit!" I said. Even then, in the middle of a potential emergency, she still chastised my language.

It took us a while, but we were both proficient pilots, and we managed to find an open landing space. By that time, we had lost another five hundred feet.

But, like I said, landings were my specialty. Somehow, I managed to put my little Cessna down in a irregular snow drift. Got one of the wheels lodged in a hole, but everything else was fine.

"Shit!" This time, she didn't reprimand me, she knew the trouble we were in.

Right before the wheels had touched down, we both heard the engine quit out on us. Neither of us had a chance to figure out what was wrong before we got caught in the bank.

"Goddammit," I muttered as we got out of the plane. Alexis moved over to check and make sure the rudder and elevator were still intact while I took a look at the engine. I did all I could, short of taking the nose cowling off. Nothing. Not a thing. I didn't know what was wrong, and the poor light wasn't helping any.

Sighing, I straightened, wincing at the twinge in my back. I wasn't as young as I used to be, given, forty wasn't that old, but still...

"Christ-" I stopped. I don't know what made me shut up just then, but seconds later, I heard a scream come from behind the plane. "Shit, Alexis!" I had just enough sense in me to grab my Partisan from the cockpit before I raced around the plane.

"Alexis!" Oh shit, oh Goddammit- no.

Alexis lay on the snow, her blood staining the chaste white crimson with such intensity I hadn't thought possible. Beside her, a growling Bandersnatch glared at me through the dark.

"You bastard!" I screamed, as I jumped into the air. I felt the blood of my ancestors, the famed Dragon Knights, course through my veins. Not for nothing was I their descendant. I felt the air whistle past my ears as I jumped, but this time, there was no exhilaration, no thrill as I hurtled towards the earth, no satisfaction as I drove the point of my lance past the Bandersnatch's skull, piercing it's brain.

"No-" I left the pole where it was and rushed over to Alexis. "No," I whispered, taking her into my arms. "Oh, God, no."

Her left arm was torn up pretty bad, and there was a long gash down her back. Her face was pale, her breathing shallow as she lifted her head to meet my eyes. "I love you, Cid," she said, her words barely audible.

"I love you, too." I leaned down and buried my face in her short hair. My beautiful girl, she was going to die. "Don't- hold on, please, try to hold on." I heard my voice break as I begged her not to die.

"It's- it's okay, Cid," she told me, taking my hand in her own. Her hand was so cold- so cold. "Just- hold me." She looked up into my eyes, full of sadness. "I don't want to be alone. Not now. Stay with me, Cid, please."

A tear slipped past my eye and landed on her face. I reached out gently to wipe it away; she didn't need my borrowed tears. "I'm not going anywhere," I told her, holding her close. She was so cold.

I unzipped my flight jacket, wrapping her in the warm brown leather. "You're everything to me," I told her, holding her in my arms. "I love you so much."

"I know." She shivered. "I just- I wish I had been able to give you a child."

We had tried. She had given birth, just once, to a baby boy, a golden child with his mother's hair and his daddy's eyes. I had held that boy only once, held him and felt his velvet skin against my rough face. That was all. The boy was too small, he couldn't survive on his own. He died, that day, died before he had lived. We buried him under a tree, just outside of town. Three times, we had gone to visit that tree, once every year on that same day. Alexis would bring primroses and we'd leave them in the branches.

"Promise me something, Cid," she said, suddenly. I looked down at her, so small in my arms. "Promise me that you will have a child, that there will be someone to fly, and build airships and to love you after I'm gone. Please, Cid."

I looked into her eyes, so helpless. She was pleading with me. Slowly, I nodded.

"I want to hear you say it."

"I promise," I whispered.

"Thank you." She relaxed, now, leaning against my chest. "I'm afraid," she admitted. "I don't want to leave you. There's so much more time for you, and I'm afraid because I won't be there with you."

"Shh," I said, not wanting to hear her talk that way. I looked up at the moon, the lunatic in the sky. It was so cold, the moon. So white, so unforgiving. Everywhere, the light, the beauty, it was all so damn cold, so unfeeling. I wanted to give her warmth. I didn't want her last moments here to be so alone.

"I love you, Cid," she said again, her voice so faint I could barely hear it. She smiled softly, sadly, and closed her beautiful, beautiful eyes.

"I love you too, Lexi." I kissed her head, breathing in the scent of her hair. I sat like that for a long time, long after she was gone. I felt the tears freeze on my cheeks, reached up to wipe them away. "I love you, baby. More than you can ever know."

Somehow, I managed to get back to the plane, carrying her in my arms. Setting her gently in the right seat, I got in and looked down. Oh, God.

The fuel selector valve, which should have been set to both, had been switched over to right. The plane had run out of fuel, because it was only running on the right wing tank. I had lost my beautiful angel because of some stupid misstep.

Moving mechanically, I switched the valve back over to left. Outside, I pushed the plan until it jerked out of the snow bank and onto more sturdy ice. I got in again and started up the plane, turning it towards Rocket Town.

I buried her that night, leaving her wrapped in my flight jacket. I buried her next to her son, our golden child. For hours, I stood there, not even feeling the night chill. I didn't cry, then, didn't ask why, didn't try and bargain with whatever powers might have been listening. I just stood. Finaly, I nodded to myself and placed a hand on the gravestone that marked both their places. I looked at the mounds of dirt, one the size of a shoe box, the other newly dug. Then I turned around and went back into the house.

And I wept.

* * *

I sold the Cessna the next day. You probably would have laughed at me for that. I just couldn't stand being in that plane anymore.

I never did take you out in my Tiny Bronco. I wish I could have. Just that damn Cessna. But I guess I can't really blame her. I made mistakes. It wasn't the plane.

It's too late for all that now, though. I didn't know what to do, after you were gone. For weeks, I just sat around the house feeling sorry for myself. Eventually, I got up and finished our work on the Airship. Called it the Highwind. She was my pride and joy, until ShinRa came and took her away, those goddamn fu-

Sorry.

The Highwind was the last thing I had to remember you by. For years, I didn't do anything, just moped around and messed with the Tiny Bronco. They had taken everything right outta me. Then Shera came along, and I had something else to take the place of the Highwind.

I didn't tell you, did I? Shera had a baby, a daughter. I named her Lexi, after you. She's beautiful, I wish you could see her. I just want you to know that I kept my promise to you. I've already taken her up in the Tiny Bronco, and if I ever get my Airship back, she's gonna be the next Captain.

I don't know why I came back, exactly. It wasn't just to tell you about Lexi. But you probably know that already. You always were one step ahead of me, even with myself.

I guess I really came here just to say- thank you. And I love you.

I should probably go now. My eyes, they ain't what they used to be, can't see so well in the dark anymore. Heh, see, they're misting up something awful right now-

So I'll just leave these violets right here, between you two. And next time, I'll bring primroses to hang in the branches. Someday, I'll see you again, both of you. And when I do, I promise I'll take you up in the Tiny Bronco.

I promise.

~fin~