Disclaimer: I own nada people, sueing me would be pointless.

Summary: Faith writes Buffy a letter.

A/N: A short oneshot Fuffy, i wrote it in like an hour so it isn't the most indepth piece.

The Letter

I want to get up, to move, but my arms and legs feel like led

I want to get up, to move, but my arms and legs feel like led. It's been this way since I left for Boston about 3 months ago, after helping Buffy with the First an all. I just sort of up and left….and now I'm kicking myself in the head because of it. You know those sappy movies on lifetime? You know the ones with those tacky "I can't live without you" lines. Makes me want to puke just watching them, but my body is taking it pretty literally.

It wasn't as bad at first ya know, first couple of weeks I was five by five…but after that, my chest started feeling weird. Like someone was pressing on my lungs or some shit, making it hard to breathe ya know. It just went down hill from there…started feeling weaker and weaker, more depressed, always feeling empty. It sucks….but what makes it worse is…I know what will make it go away. Or who to be totally accurate.

Yep, I have it bad. I'm in love with that damn Blondie, always have been, and by the looks of it, always will be. Sad huh? But leave it to me to be a dense dipshit and just high tail my ass outta there without telling her how I feel. Red knows though, I was just sitting outside after one of the scoobs meetings one night for a smoke break, and she came out to chitchat. After a while, she dropped the bombshell, telling me that it was pretty fuckin obvious that I had a thing for B. Not those exact words but something along those lines. So after we bitch slapped the First, I managed to talk Angel into getting me a plane ticket to Boston. He was surprised at first that I wanted to take off so soon, but then Soulboy called me on it too. Goddamn am I that obvious?

After a few short and awkward goodbyes with the wannabes and the Scoobs, I told B I was leaving.

She gave me her usual sad eyes and hurt expression, asking me why I didn't want to stick around. I just told her that things were a bit complicated and that I would keep in touch, best to keep it vague. Then she used the whole "What about Robin?" card on me, I just told her that I wasn't in to him, that there was someone else. She asked who of course, I just smirked at her and that was the end of the conversation.

So here I am now, my body is shutting down slowly because a certain Blonde isn't in my life, haven't talked to B since I left. I'm tapping my pen on the stationary in front of me hard enough to snap the damn thing.

"I have to do this." I say aloud to myself over and over. I don't know why I'm so fuckin nervous, if worst comes to worst, I can just threaten X-man into saying he wrote it to see if a little girl on girl action could come out of it. Tapping my pen again, nervous habit.

"Fuck it" I sigh and begin to write.

Hey B,

Sorry haven't been in touch lately, wicked busy. Been keeping in line too, you would be so proud, haven't been arrested, or convicted once in 5 whole months! Ok so anyways, back to the point of this whole stupid letter. I don't know if your still wondering why I left or if you are wondering what the 'complications' were that made me leave, so here they are. I'm in love with you, there, laugh in my face, grimace, feel complete disgust towards me, do whatever the fuck you want. I just needed to get that out. The reason? It's actually killing me. Cheesy huh? But everyday it gets worse and worse, harder to go on ya know? I'm guessing it's because I've never really felt a concentrated feeling of love towards anyone or thing before, so it's really taking a lot out of me. And I know I don't have a snowballs chance in hell at actually being with you, because your as straight as the straightest damn thing on this earth and you're still recovering from soulboy2's explosive death. So anyways, yeah, I love you, always will. Just needed you to know.

Yours truly,

Faith

Buffy read the letter over and over again, a goofy smile plastered on her face. She dug into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. She dialed a number quickly and put the phone to her ear, reading the letter again as she waited for it to answer.

"Hello?" a familiar gruff voice answered.

"Angel? Can I get a ticket for the next plane leaving for Boston?"

A/N: Want me to continue? Keep it a oneshot? I dunno what do you peoples think?