Star Trek Discovery

The Final Goodbye

"Unless we create our future others will do it for us"

Ensign Sylvia Tilly was high on adrenaline and caffeine as she walked out of engineering where the time crystal had been set up. It didn't feel good to leave Reno on her own but there was no other option available. 'Another brave soul,' Tilly thought. There were too many of them onboard Discovery. She sighed as she began to jog down the length of the corridor to the nearest turbolift.

She felt empty yet filled with hope. The recording to her mother had exhausted her, a longing had threatened to form a lump in her throat several times and no matter how hard she tried she didn't manage to keep the faint tears at bay. Tilly was a committed officer now and she had known, from the moment she signed on, that there was a possibility that she had to leave everything and everyone behind but she still couldn't grasp the idea that it was actually happening.

"Be brave, be courageous," Captain Pike had said once. It was then, at that exact moment, she came to realize that she would never see him again.

Tilly was torn, she wanted all of her friends with her and she, as strange as it may sound, counted him into that group, even though he was her current commanding officer. She knew that no one would ever take his place, he would always be special to her.

Her thoughts wandered to Saru and Michael, one of them would probably take command over Discovery and although she trusted both of them with her life explicitly there was something about Christopher Pike that made her feel safe, made her fight to be better, to accomplish things she never thought she could pull off.

Tilly doubted she would ever make it to the rank of captain, she was filled with self-doubt and anxiety at the moment. She imagined having to lead people to their deaths. It wasn't enticing, it was downright scary. She slowed and began to walk the last few meters and realized that it might be just how this was going to end she was probably going to die. She would go willingly - for the sake of the galaxy, for Michael, for all of them. She wouldn't hesitate, she wouldn't hold back, she would just rush headlong into danger if it kept everyone else safe.

When the turbolift door opened she sighed and ran a hand through her curly, red hair and halted mid-step as she noticed the car wasn't empty. In the middle of the lift, clad in his yellow uniform tunic stood Captain Christopher Pike, a cunning half-smile present on his lips, he looked as radiant and sharp as ever. Tilly suddenly felt the need to run a hand over her filthy face and to wipe away the perspiration on her glistening forehead. "Captain," she managed.

He broke into that usual crooked smile of his, complete with dimples, as his eyes sparkled in amusement. "Only two syllables, ensign?" he asked softly.

She hitched on a breath as she stepped fully into the turbolift and swallowed, her mouth dry, as she closed the small distance between them and threw her arms around him.

Pike nearly stumbled back, his back against the wall, as her action had been as unpredictable as ever. Then again, knowing Tilly by now, he should have expected the unexpected around her. Stiffly he returned the hug.

She sobbed lightly into his chest as he held her. "I'm so sorry, sir," she mumbled. "So sorry."

"Hey," he said kindly, his voice smooth and soft as he gently detangled himself and held her at an arm's length. "Look at me."

She gulped as she did as he said and felt like she was drowning in those blue eyes as they looked at her with concern and kindness. There wasn't a hint of anger or even annoyance for her irrational behavior and she once again found herself in awe of him. The captain of the flagship, the kind man who would sacrifice his life for his crew down to the simplest private without hesitation. He was smart, a tactical mastermind, and he was handsome too.

"How do you do it," she mumbled.

He frowned in surprise, waiting for her to continue.

"Just ignore me. I think everything just caught up with me at the same time," she offered as a way to explain her actions.

"It's all right, ensign," he encouraged softly. "It's not exactly an ordinary situation."

She snorted at that and then chuckled bitterly as she reached up to wipe away a tear from her cheek.

He looked so understanding as he waited for her to gather herself that it annoyed her. "Can't you at least be angry with me?" she asked.

"Why would I be angry at you?" he replied. "Ensign Tilly, I don't think anyone can be angry when you're around."

She couldn't help but to smile too as he broke into that cunning half-smile again, completely disarming her bad mood. "I just realized this might be the last time I see you, sir," she managed gloomily.

"You could still join me onboard the Enterprise," he offered. "But I have a feeling that's not what you want."

"Yes, I mean no- I mean," she trailed off miserably. "I need to do this. I'm needed onboard the Discovery but - so are you."

"I know this is hard for you. It certainly is for me. The people onboard that ship have quickly become my family but we all knew when I took command of Discovery that it would only be a temporary engagement. I'm assigned to command the Enterprise, she and her crew needs me, even more so than Discovery. I have absolute faith in Michael and Saru," he assured her kindly.

"I know this is selfish of me but I don't want you to leave," Tilly blurted.

The captain sighed and reached up with his hand to absentmindedly rub his forehead. For the first time he let her see behind the façade, allowed her a glimpse of Christopher Pike, the weariness, the burden of command upon his shoulders, the faint lines of worry, the ache it caused him to leave them behind, to let them go without him. He suddenly looked like he'd lived enough years to match the grey sprinkles at his temples, like he'd seen too much too soon. He looked human.

Tilly was unable to tear her eyes from him, she knew she was staring but she couldn't take her eyes off of him.

Then the steely resolve came back, the determination sparkled in his eyes yet again as he straightened, the burden of command no longer a problem or a hindrance. "Sylvia," he said softly.

Her heart skipped a beat as he used her forename and she briefly wondered if he knew all the names of all the people onboard the ship. She dismissed it rather quickly.

"You are a wonderful person and a brilliant officer. One day you'll become something great, I'm sure of it," he said kindly.

She looked uncertain.

He reached out to place his hands on her shoulders. "It's not easy to become and to be a starship captain. It's going to be long and hard hours but in the end it's going to be worth the effort. There are going to be moments when you doubt yourself, when you're ready to quit, when your emotional turmoil is so great you don't know where to turn. You're going to send people to their deaths, people are going to sacrifice themselves for you, whether you want it or not, because Starfleet has a policy that states some people are more important than others," there was bitterness in his voice as he finished.

She swallowed, not sure what to say to the unexpected confession.

"But you'll make it. Don't ever lose hope, it should be the last thing that abandons you. Have faith in your colleagues because out there, in the unknown, they will become your family," he added softly and smirked. "But you already knew that. Michael, Saru, Detmer, Owo, they are your family. I expected you to go with them, not to come with me to some unknown ship where you have no one to turn to."

Tilly nodded as a smile finally started to crease her lips.

"They need you," he said softly as he let go of her shoulders and straightened. "I'm going to miss you but they need you and they need you at your best."

"Of course, sir."

"Chris," he corrected smoothly.

"Capt- " she began in confusion. "Chris."

He nodded. "Technically I'm no longer your captain so you might as well call me Chris," he reasoned as he broke into that cunning smile again.

Tilly opened her mouth to say something when the turbolift door opened behind her but no sound came out so she closed it again.

"I have to go, ensign-"

"Sylvia," she corrected hastily with a hesitant smile.

He nodded. "Sylvia. This is not the end. I'm sure we'll meet again when all this is over. However, if we don't, you'll just have to keep doing what you're doing, keep being the radiant, brilliant Ensign Tilly then everything will be fine, no matter what happens."

"Goodspeed, Chris. I'm going to miss you," she said as he nodded and stepped out of the turbolift. The door closed so fast it literally felt like it had slapped her and he was gone. She let out a quivering breath as tears sprung from her eyes. "Be brave, be courageous," she whispered.

OOOOOO

A/N: This one-chapter is for travellady77 who wanted to see a final scene between Pike and Tilly. It should be inserted at the end of "Such Sweet Sorrow pt 1".