Chapter 1

Like they do with all other tournaments of grand amazement much like this one, the Smashers waited outside of the gates that would allow them to enter the world of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. The gates were constructed out of some kind of white gold and shone brightly with the rays of the sun reflecting off of them. Most of the entries into this competition waited patiently for the gates to open and some others, less so. A few of the fighters had started fighting a little early, those fighters being Bowser and Ganondorf who still hadn't resolved their issues from Subspace Emissary. It seems Bowser was still a little bit sore over the whole betrayal thing.

From the distant world that could be seen from the gates descended two unruly figures, both were hands that appeared to be wearing gloves, one was a right hand and the other was a left.

"ATTENTION ALL SMASHERS!" began the right hand. "FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE RETURNING MEMBERS OF OUR SMASH BROS. TOURNAMENTS, IT IS LOVELY TO SEE YOU ALL AGAIN. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE NEW HERE LIKE Ms. Isabelle AND Ridley—"

" Y!" yelled a female's voice from amongst the crowd.

"PIPE DOWN SAMUS!" commanded Master Hand. "ANYWAYS, WELCOME TO OUR LITTLE SMASH BROS. FAMILY! THE ONLY FAMILY IN WHICH YOU GET TO BEAT UP YOUR COUSINS! WE WILL BE HOUSING YOU A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY THIS TIME ROUND—"

"NOOOO!" yelled the other hand as it began to roll around the floor exerting tears from somewhere unknown. "I DON'T LIKE CHANGE!"

"CRAZY! SHUT UP! I'M SPEAKING!" commanded Master Hand as he whacked his brother. "ahem—INSTEAD OF ONE BIG MANSION WHERE YOU EACH GET YOUR OWN ROOMS AND ALL HAVE TO SHARE ONE BATHROOM LIKE LAST TOURNAMENT—"

"YEAH! THAT SUCKED!" yelled a blond male with a ponytail. "BOWSER AND WARIO KEPT STINKING THE WHOLE PLACE OUT!"

"OH MY GOD! LINK! SHUT UP!" yelled the hand as he pointed his finger at the Hylian and shot a ball of energy at him. "YOU WILL ALL BE DIVIDED INTO GROUPS OF FIVE AND WILL LIVE IN A LOVELY LITTLE MINI-MANSION THAT HAS FIVE ROOMS, TWO BATHROOMS, A KITCHEN AND A COMMUNAL LIVING SPACE… SUFFICE IT TO SAY THAT WE GOT A BUDGET RISE THIS YEAR-ROUND SO WE WERE ABLE TO BUY MORE HOUSING PLACES!"

Distorted chatter and excitement could be heard from the crowd which soon turned to disgust as Wario had farted and all of the other smashers had distanced themselves from him to avoid the stink.

"ew, OMG that is fucking disgusting—I mean, BETTER OUT THAN IN? ACTUALLY NO IT ISN'T!"

"Hey bro! gimme some money so I can go play the slot machines!" begged Crazy Hand.

"Not now, Crazy, I'm busy!" responded Master Hand.

"Pweeeeaaaaaase!?"

Master Hand sighed and threw a bag of spirit points at his younger brother, the latter of whom darted off quickly to an area that seemed to contain nothing, but nevertheless, he went there.

"Hey! Master Hand!" yelled a short man wearing a green shorts with boxing gloves of the same colour.

"What is it Mac?" responded the Hand.

"Can we come in now or what?"

"in a moment! My brother took the keys to the gate!"

Master hand then dashed off, following the same direction as his brother had yelling 'CRAZY! WAIT!' the entire time. Little Mac then looked to his right and saw that Snake was staring intensely at his abs.

"Dude! Do you mind!?" asked Mac in a tone that suggested Snake's actions had offended him.

"They're just so… ripped… like, do you grate cheese on that thing?!" responded Snake.

"Well I once used them to grind some meat!"

Snake smirked.

Master hand came rushing back clutching a large, gold key in between his index finger and his thumb. He inserted his key into the key hole in the gate and twisted it allowing the large gates to open and the smashers to pass through it.

As all of the Smashers passed Master Hand by, he yelled, "WHATEVER NUMBER APPEARS ON YOUR WRIST IS THE NUMBER OF THE HOUSE YOU'VE BEEN ASSIGNED!"

Now knowing this, most of the smashers looked at their wrist to find a number between 1 and 16 written in clear black letters.

After aimless trekking around this large open space, some of the smashers had found the 'Smash Suburbs' which will be where they call home for the time being. The mini-mansions were identical in structure and all appeared to be constructed from the same material, wood and bricks. The only distinguishable differences from each of them were the different numbers painted on the letter boxes and the colours of the external walls and rooves, none of which were the same.

A tall woman with short black hair, glasses, black lipstick and black clothes stood at the entrance to the garden of house number seven which had baby blue walls and a navy-blue roof which was very aesthetically pleasing.

"So this must be house number seven!" she said to herself out loud. "I wonder who my house mates will be…"

This woman had a very strong, British accent and sounded well educated and sophisticated. Surely her house mates would be similar in speech… right?

She approached the door and twisted the knob revealing two fairly short angels, one with white wings and one with black, both looked to be an exact mirror image of one another.

"Pittoo! You cannot have my luffa just because you forgot yours!" told the angel with white wings.

"Come on Pit! The nearest store is like 100 miles from here because the hands forgot to build shops that are closer to the new site! I am not flying all that way and I'm pretty sure that there isn't a public transport system!"

"Not my problem!" yelled the angel. "If you weren't busy being a little shit emo! You wouldn't have forgot your luffa!"

"Where's all of your selfless, righteous moral crap that you're usually preaching when Palutena is around—"

"Hello?" asked the woman in black.

"Yeah?" replied the angels in unison.

"I believe this is where I've been told to live, house number seven?"

"Yup!" yelled the angel in black.

"Hi! I'm Pit and this is Pittoo, my twin—"

"HOW MANY TIMES?!" interjected the dark angel. "MY NAME IS NOT PITTOO! IT'S DARK PIT!"

"WELL IT'S WHAT WE ALL CALL YOU SO SUCK IT UP!"

"oh… well… I'm Bayonetta! It is very nice to meet you too!" replied Bayonetta. "I think I recognise the two of you from the last tournament, were you in it?"

"Yeah!" yelled Dark Pit. "I was invited then… unlike this loser who was added in Brawl…"

"Oh! I'm sorry! Am I supposed to be ashamed of being the face of 'Kid Icarus'?"

"Bitch! Please!" moaned the dark angel. "The only reason you got into smash is cause you're an angel… they didn't have any angels, so they added you! It's called diversity!"

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" yelled Pit as he lunged across the room and grabbed Dark Pit by the neck and took him to the floor smacking his head in the process. The two began to wrestle on the ground, Bayonetta turned around and face palmed.

She then heard a knock at the door and turned to see a tall dirty-blonde wearing a red outfit and was clutching some kind of red sword.

"Hello? Have I got the right house?" asked the blonde in a cockney British accent, like a 'Londoner'.

"Number seven?" asked the umber witch.

"Yes, I believe so!" he said looking at his wrist to confirm it. "Yes! Number seven!"

The blonde then came further in and extended his hand for a handshake. "I'm Shulk!"

"Nice to meet you! I'm Bayonetta!" she said accepting his handshake.

Shulk then looked over to the two angels having a wrestling match with a puzzled expression on his face.

Pit's face then perked up after noticing the handsome blonde standing in the hallway and he loosened his grip on his clone's neck. Pit then awkwardly stood up and extended his hand.

"Hi! I'm Pit! This is Pitt—"

"YOU DARE FINISH THAT SENTENCE!" yelled Dark Pit as he pulled out his bow and threatened to shoot his twin.

"Alright! I'm sorry!" pouted Pit. "This is Dark Pit, my Twin."

"It's very nice to meet you! I'm Shulk!" responded the blonde as he accepted the handshake.

The four then stood and extended pleasantries with each other as a smaller blonde stood by the door and looked inwards.

"Hi" said the blonde quietly.

"Hello!" they all returned the greeting.

"I'm Lucas! Is this house seven?" he asked.

"Yup! Come in!" cried Pit.

The short blonde entered the room and exchanged a pleasant greeting with the four adults before him. They each told him their names and they all spent the morning getting better acquainted.

In house four, there had already been some… shall we say, drama?

Mewtwo, Lucario, Red and his Pokémon; Squirtle, Ivysaur and Charizard were having a 'disagreement'.

"I am the only legendary Pokémon here, so it is only right that I assume the role as leader!" told Mewtwo.

"And I am the only human here so I should be leader!" argued Red.

"GRAAW! (I'm stronger… and heavier… than the rest of you so I should be leader)" growled Charizard.

"IVY, IVYSAUR! (I am the only female, and this requires a female's touch!)" retorted Ivysaur.

"SQUIRT! SQUIRT! (you're all wrong! It should be me cause I'm the cutest!)" interjected Squirtle.

"Yeah! Cause you're the youngest!" added Lucario. "You're practically a baby!"

"SQUIRT! SQUIRTLE! (You're just jealous, Grandpa!)"

"You little Squirt!"

"Squirtle Squirt! (Well it is in the name!)" the little turtle responded as he put on a pair of shades which Mewtwo immediately bitch slapped off his face.

"MARTH-KUN!" yelled a red-haired swordsman. "ARE YOU HERE-DESU?"

"Minna here!" responded Marth who was a dark-blue haired swordsman who was dressed in blue robes and had a sword strapped to his waist. "Roy? Are we sharing the same house… house 10?"

"Yes-u! Oh! I'm so ureshii!" yelled Roy in response.

The red head then dashed into the house and started to hug Marth, the two of them started to jump up and down when another swordsman knocked on the door.

"Hello? I'm Ike and I like Chicken!" called a dark-haired swordsman with a red cape, blue shirt and beige trousers. "Oh! I know you two… Marth and Roy, right?"

"Right-kun!" responded Roy.

Ike's heart started to beat at a million beats per minute as he eyed up the red head.

Ike blushed and blurted "do you like Jazz?" as he started to lean against the wall next to him.

"Jazz-u? No, Marth-kun? You like jazz?" said Roy in his bizarre Japanese accent.

"What's jazz-u?" asked Marth.

Ike started to approach Roy slowly and proposed that they go get a milkshake. Roy then leaned in and whispered "My heart belongs to Marth-kun, I'm afraid…"

Marth seemed to be getting a little bit starry eyed over Ike's glorious muscles. Marth started to drool a little.

There was definitely something more happening here, but I'll make you wait because I'm evil…

In house seven, the newly acquainted housemates were showing off their taunts which is always fun.

Pit went first and stood in the centre of the living room and began his taunt.

"COME ON!"

Dark Pit, Shulk, Lucas and Bayonetta clapped lightly for the not so unique taunt and Shulk insisted on going next.

"NOW IT'S SHULK TIME!"

This one was more unique, so the others genuinely clapped out of awe for this taunt, Pit and Dark Pit grew a little bit envious as their taunts were a little bit basic. Dark Pit got up to taunt next.

"WATCH OUT!"

Lucas was the only one who was clapping as he was being sympathetic to the dark angel's basic taunt, although his were no better as his didn't actually require him to speak. It was now Bayonetta's turn.

"IF YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO TALK TO A LADY, ASK YOUR MUM!"

"YOU'RE A LADY?!" yelled Lucas. "GEE! I GUESS BECAUSE I ALMOST MISTOOK YOU FOR A MAN, THAT MUST NOT BE TRUE!"

"Okay, that was just rude—"

"I'D LOVE TO ASK MY MOM TO TEACH ME HOW TO TALK TO LADIES, I'D LOVE FOR HER TO DO A LOT OF THINGS LIKE WASH MY CLOTHES AND MAKE ME OMELETTES, BUT SHE CAN'T BECAUSE SHE'S DEAD!"

Lucas then stormed off up the stairs to his room, slamming the door behind him.

"O-oh!" mumbled Bayonetta. "Pit? You knew Lucas in Brawl… did he talk about his mum a lot?"

"Um… I didn't really talk to him much… I just knew him as that blonde kid that was dating Ness…"

"Who is Ness?" asked Bayonetta curiously.

"Another Smasher!" added Dark Pit. "They broke up right before Smash 4 because Lucas was cut… then added again as DLC and Ness is still hung up about it…"

"How do you know about all of that?" asked Shulk.

"Simple… I was new so everyone dished about all the beef cause I was a 3rd party perspective… now that I think about it, I got most of my beef from Palutena…"

"Wait? Palutena dished?" asked Pit with a look of shock.

"Uh! Yeah ya dumbass! Are you not aware that she's friends with all the populars?" responded Dark Pit.

"Who are the populars?" asked Shulk. "Just in case I want to get my daily fix of beef…"

"Err… Zelda, Palutena, Lucina, Robin, Corrin and Peach… Oh! And I think Daisy now that she's joined!" told Dark Pit.

"Really, not Samus?" asked Pit.

"Nope… too tomboy!"

"Hmmm" hummed Bayonetta as she contemplated a thought that had entered her mind.

Bayonetta then stealthily left the group and went upstairs to talk with Lucas in his bedroom, she had an idea and wanted to test it out.

Lucas was lying in his bed clutching a pillow over his face and was making whimpering sounds suggesting that he was crying.

Bayonetta knocked on the door and opened it.

"Hello? Can I come in?" she asked whilst holding her breath, fearing that Lucas would blow up at her.

"What do you want?!" asked Lucas aggressively.

"I just wanted to chat with you…" she responded as she sat down.

"Oh really, not come to taunt some more?"

"No… you see, I know what it's like to lose—"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did your mom die when you were young?!" snapped Lucas.

"Actually, she did…"

"Oh… Oh… I'm really sorry!" he responded.

"It's alright… I'm just wondering… did you ever have a mother figure?" asked Bayonetta curiously.

"N… no"

"Well… if you need to learn how to talk to a lady—"

"I swear to god, I will gut you!"

"Just ask me…"

"huh?" responded Lucas confusedly.

"Honey… I'd like to adopt you so I can take care of you and keep you safe—"

Lucas then wrapped his arms around the woman in black and whispered 'mommy' causing Bayonetta to return his hug and wrap her arms around him.

"Just so we're clear?" Lucas asked to clarify. "Do I have to call you mom, or will you just be my mom and I can still call you Bayonetta?"

"No, you don't have to call me mum, but I will be your mum in all other ways… just one thing!"

"What?"

"Stay out of hot topic! I do not need others to tell me that I have failed as a mother because my kid hangs out in Hot Topic!"

"Oh…" responded Lucas disappointedly.

"I'm just joking, you may do as you wish, that is if you want to go to hot topic?"

"Is that an offer?"

"Well no, but I'm sure Dark Pit would like to take you, that seems like his kind of place…" told Bayonetta.

Lucas and Bayonetta giggled and spent the rest of their pleasant evening talking in depth and the other 3 'stooges' gossiped about things from the previous smash games.

In house 10, the three swordsmen were getting acquainted with the new housemate that had rocked up at the door, it was a woman with white hair that was tied up in pigtails and was wearing a black outfit that had a sword around the waist… (yes! That's right, ANOTHER SWORD WEILDER!)

"Well!" began the woman. "I'm Robin!"

The woman then extended a hand to the swordsmen who all grabbed it at once.

"You didn't bring any bags with you?" asked Ike curiously.

"Oh right! I almost forgot!" said Robin as she turned her head to face out the door and yelled, "LUCINA! I GOT THE RIGHT HOUSE, HURRY UP AND BRING MY SHIT IN!"

"C-Coming Mother!" replied a young swordswoman carrying two large boxes in her hands, a duffel bag around her shoulder and a suitcase that she had connected to her waist using a piece of rope that was pulling it along by the handle.

"Lovely!" said Robin as she took out her sword and cut Lucina free of the rope.

"Are both of you staying here?!" asked Marth as he observed the absurd luggage that Robin had bought. "There's a lot of stuff here-desu!"

"Oh! No!" told Lucina. "This is all Mom's stuff, my things are still on the bus—"

Just as Lucina had finished her sentence, the bus began to pull away from the driveway, so Lucina dashed after it to save her belongings and especially her collection of Anime.

"Well if Lucina isn't staying here, who's our final housemate?" questioned Roy.

A dark shadow then filled the doorway and as the light hit it, it was revealed to be Rosalina and her Luma.

"Ah! Lovely!" cried Robin. "Another Lady to spill the tea with!"

"I don't believe in tea…" responded the mysterious woman in blue.

Rosalina then floated across the floor and introduced herself to the other three swordsmen.

"Hi! I'm Ike and I like chicken!" added Ike as he tried to make himself seem cooler.

"I don't believe in chicken…" told Rosalina, her Luma then backed her up by making some weird little noise.

"Marth-kun and I are from Japan-desu!" exclaimed Roy excitedly.

"Japan only exists in the minds of Yaoi-crazed teenagers…" said the space woman.

The four sword wielders looked at each other with dumbfounded expressions on their faces as Rosalina floated over to the kitchen and examined it closely.

"Okay, is it just me or is she a little off?" asked Ike.

"Ugh! She's so off… like, how can you not believe in things that are real like Tea and Chicken?" added Robin.

"What about Japan-desu?" asked Marth curiously.

"What about Japan?" retorted Robin. "She hit the nail on the head with that one!"

Roy and Marth gulped at one another allowing each other to see their unusually large Adam's apples.

The floating woman with a living star-thing came back to her new housemates.

"okay… Rosalina, what do you believe in?" asked Ike curiously.

"Hmmm…. Let's see…." She began. "I believe in Unicorns, race cars, Eminem, moth memes and the colour blue!"

"err…." Mumbled the foursome.

"And I also believe that mass murder is the only real way to solve your problems…"

"Wait? WHAT?!" exclaimed Marth.

"… Nothing…. Tee hee…" she responded innocently. "Would you happen to know where the restroom is?"

"Just down the hall!" pointed Roy. "Oh! We ran out of toilet paper-desu!"

"It's fine… I don't believe in toilet paper…" told the space woman as she glided to the restroom and closed the door behind her.

"The how does she wipe her—"

"She DOESN'T!" clarified Robin.

"EEEEW!" yelled Roy as he covered his eyes.

Their new roommate would surely take a lot of getting used to…

Lucas and Bayonetta joined up with the group in their living quarters to partake in an evening of getting to know each other.

"So Shulk?" asked Pit. "What kind of powers do you have?"

"Powers… hmmm…" he mumbled. "Well I have my Monardo arts and my Monardo, and I can see a glimpse into the future at a time… I also became a god once!"

"Wait? For real?!" gasped the angel.

"Yeah!" replied the dirty blonde. "Only to create a world without gods, though!"

Pit looked at the strangely handsome brit and then back at his twin in a way that said, 'can you believe this?'

Bayonetta smirked and looked to Lucas.

"What about you Lucas?" she asked curiously. "What powers do you have?"

"Well… I have PK Fire, PK Freeze, PK Thunder, PSI Magnet, PK Star storm and I can use telepathy…" told Lucas with a beaming smile on his face. "And you?" he asked Pit and his twin.

"We don't really have powers, more like techniques and weapons…" blurted Pit. "I have my bow of light, my shields, my gauntlet and the manual power of flight… Oh! I almost forgot! I also have the power to destroy the fourth wall!"

"And I basically have the same…" told Dark Pit. "Except, my techniques are dark… obviously."

"What about you, Bayonetta?" asked Shulk.

"Oh! I can't tell you…" she answered.

"Why not?"

"Because… it's a battlefield surprise… and if you knew, I may have to kill you…"

"What? Are you connected to the FBI or something?" yelled Dark Pit.

Bayonetta giggled while putting a hand over her mouth, "Something like that…"

"ATTENTION ALL SMASHERS! THERE WILL BE A TOURNAMENT ORIENTATION IN 15 MINUTES WHICH WILL BE HELD IN THE COMMUNITY CENTRE THAT IS NEXT TO THE MALL! ALL SMASHERS MUST ATTEND!"

"Orientation?" questioned Shulk. "For what? We're all old hands at this, are we n—"

"YES! YES! YES! YES! FINALLY SOMETHING BREAKS MY WAY!" screamed Dark Pit excitedly.

"Oh for the gods sake, what?" asked Pit.

"WE HAVE A MALL! I HAVE A PLACE TO HANG OUT!" replied the dark angel. "Oh! I hope there's a Hot Topic, otherwise, what am I even supposed to do? Hang out in Mac Donald's like a millennial… No thank you!"

"Pittoo! You are a millennial!" retorted Pit.

"Nuh-uh!" responded Dark Pit.

"Ya-Huh!" said the angel.

"Time is getting on, I'd think we'd best be off!" interjected Bayonetta.

"Yeah! But the community centre is at least a twenty-minute walk from here, how are we supposed to get there in time?" asked Shulk.

"Let me handle that!" said Lucas as he stepped onto the grass in the garden.

He then put his fingers to his lips and whistled and within seconds, a Mr Saturn coffee table had arrived.

"I'm not sure if we'll all fit but we can try!" he said optimistically.

Shulk and Pit reluctantly climbed onto the coffee table with Shulk sitting in between Pit's meaty thighs as they couldn't sit the other way around because of Pit's sensitive wings. Dark Pit scoffed and said he'd rather fly there so that is what he did, Bayonetta and Lucas sat together at the front and allowed the coffee table to take them the entire journey towards the community centre.

The community centre was poorly named as it seemed to be more like a small arena with an ovular stage that was surrounded with 85 chairs that seemed to be in a half-moon crescent shape that when looked upon with a birds-eye view, was a complete circle.

Each chair was a steel frame that had a soft and plump black cushion that was slightly furry, and the seats soon filled up as more and more of the Smashers arrived and took their seats. There were a few vacant seats amongst the crowd that had been reserved for late arrivals, one of the seats had the name 'Piranha Plant' and another had 'Joker' and there were others with sheets of paper on them, but Nintendo is yet to tell us who they will be… #NINTENFORSMASH

Lucas was sitting on the 3rd row along side Dark Pit and Bayonetta and were watching the stage closely.

The oval stage had three guitar stands with one acoustic and two electric guitars stood upon them, there was also a drum kit, a grand piano as well as an electric keyboard and some brass instruments. There was also a large assortment of microphones at the corner of the stage with one microphone and it's stand being positioned in the centre of the stage.

The drums started to play on their own and produced a steady and suspense building drum roll as Master Hand descended from the roof on some kind of basket that was attached to the ceiling with some bright yellow chains.

"THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING!" he began, floating behind the microphone stand with a spot light shined on him. "IT IS MY GREAT HONOUR AND PRIVILAGE TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE SUPER SMASH BROS. ULTIMATE TOURNAMENT IS OFFICIALLY LIVE! DON'T WORRY FOR NOW AS THERE WON'T BE ANY ACTUAL FIGHTS FOR QUITE A WHILE, YOU MAY FEEL FREE TO SPAR WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND RIVALS FOR THE TIME BEING BUT THERE WILL BE NO TOURNAMENTS IN THE MEAN TIME."

Some of the smashers began to moan as they couldn't hit any of their friends for a while and took it upon themselves to start booing Master Hand.

"OKAY! SETTLE DOWN!" he yelled. "LOOK, I DON'T MAKE THE RULES, I JUST ENFORCE THEM!"

"THEN WHO-A MAKES THE RULES-A?" yelled Mario from his seat in the front row.

"NINTENDO, NEED I SAY ANYTHING ELSE?"

The troubles of the rowdy bunch were soon silenced by the knowledge that the higher power known as Nintendo (whom every smasher prays to like a deity) is responsible for the delay in the tournament and awaited Master Hand's next announcement.

"I'M JUST GOING TO WARN YOU THAT SPARRING WITH YOUR FRIENDS WITHOUT CONSIDERATION OF HOW MUCH DAMAGE YOU ARE DOING COULD RESULT IN DEATH!"

The entire crowd gasped at the notion that their actions of meaningless slaughter could have…

…

…

S!

"NAH! YOU CAN PRETTY MUCH KILL WHOEVER YOU WANT!" said the hand with a giggly tone.

A sigh of relief was breathed in unison of the entire Smash. Ultimate roster.

"UNTIL WE ACTUALLY BEGIN THE TOURNAMENT…" said Master Hand. "THERE ARE MANY THINGS FOR YOU TO OCCUPY YOURSELVES WITH, WE HAVE A COUPLE OF RETURNING FAVOURITES LIKE THE ARCADE, THE CAFÉ, THE CINEMA AND THE BEAUTY SALON AS WELL AS OUR NEWLY CONSTRUCTED SHOPPING MALL WITH A HOT TOPIC—"

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Dark Pit from his seat. "HOT TOPIC!"

"BE QUIET, PIT!"

"I'm Dark Pit!"

"WHATEVER!" responded the hand. "ANYWAYS, WE ALSO HAVE A NEW BAR AND THE PARK WITH A SKATE PARK AND A BOWLING ALLEY AND THE ROLLER-SKATING RINK AND THE SWIMMING POOL AND THE MARIO KART CIRCUIT WE IMPORTED FROM THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM… without permission!"

Distorted chatter of excitement could be heard from the roster at the thought of indulging in the new facilities the hands have to offer, when they said that this tournament would be the ultimate tournament, they weren't kidding.

The orientation proceeded well into the early morning and finished at 02:34 AM leaving all of the smashers tired and weary. Luckily, as this was some kind of alternate dimension, there were no random people running around causing street crime. At this ungodly hour, the only threat to the smashers was if the Duck Hunt Dog started to bark loudly but he had fallen asleep at the community centre amidst the chaos of the orientation.