I woke up on a shore, the scent of saltwater and iron assailing my nostrils. I felt the freezing splash of water against my face and arms, then again, roughly. My nose began to burn as I coughed. My mouth tasted like something I hadn't tasted before. It tasted like the smell of blood. I wiped my hand across my cheek, only to recoil from the stinging pain of saltwater in a wound that I didn't realize I had. I suddenly felt my mouth dry, realizing how thirsty I was, how hungry I was, and how painful it was just to breathe. My tiny arms collapsed beneath me from my meager weight. I gasped out a painful sob. I felt the water slosh against me, freezing cold and stinging, burning horribly. I felt tears that I couldn't waste leak out of the corners of my blurring eyes. I swallowed hard, the painful thirst aching my throat. I saw my bag a few feet away, realizing I probably had water in there. Food pills. Some form of relief. Something to hold myself against as I only delayed my imminent death. My heart ached as I thought of mother at home, belly swollen with my little brother I'd never get to meet. I thought of father, spirits know where, probably injured, too, and wanting to go home, just as desperatley as I was. I wondered what I was doing here, in the middle of a war. I saw people laying on the ground a few meters away from me. They were all probably dead. I didn't care at that moment. I was tired. I just wanted to go to sleep. I yawned, my tears spilling a little bit more as I felt my raw throat contract, tasting that scent of blood again. I laid my head down inbetween my hands that rested uselessly on the warm sand. The comfortable sand that now seemed adequate to sleep on. I yawned again. I cried again. Silently. My hair dangled in front of my eyes as I closed them. The sand was dyed a bright reddish-pink, the sunlight filtering, making everything happier. I saw a dark shadow loom over lights were off. Time for bed. I gave one last feeble yawn, not bothering to think of the tears as I felt my body cry for water. I sighed contently, a smile as I began to fall asleep. I felt something pick me up suddenly. But I was too far off. Mama said it was time for bed. I had to go to sleep or I'd be in trouble. I was going to sleep, Mama, you don't have to repeat yourself. Your voice must be tired. But you said, "I found you, Itachi." Where was I? I was going to sleep. I'm still tired. My mouth hurts. My side hurts. My hair is thick with the spray of sea salt. My eyes are was your voice so deep, Mama? What are you pressing to my mouth? Why do I feel water in my mouth? It's bitter and sour and runs down the corners of my mouth. I shook my head trying to stop it. I didn't want it. I'm not thirsty, Mama. Stoppit! I coughed, grabbing at your chest. Why was your stomach flat? Where is Sasuke? Where's my little brother? I was calling for him but nobody answered, besides a voice that tried to hush me as I was pulled closer into a shoulder that smelled like sulfur and blood and metal and home. I relaxed into the hold. I knew suddenly it wasn't you, Mama. I didn't know who it was. I thought I did at one time but I must've forgotten. All I know is that I was four years old and the thirst still haunts me. My throat still aches. I still have problems breathing. I still hate the sight of blood and the scent of iron. I avoid fighting and don't like being anywhere by myself, despite what I say. All I know is that I wake up in the middle of the night shaking and crying even years later, only to be pulled into an unrecognizable shoulder. Only now I know who it is because it's my best friend. The one who found me thirteen years ago and still holds me when I cry like its the most natural thing in the world. As if I shouldn't have gotten over it by now. As if he didn't die nine years ago and he was still here. As if I wasn't in the hideout of an illegal organization that plans against the home that I defended at four years old beside my best friend who saved my life. As if I wasn't hallucinating and pretending he was here as I wrap my arms around intangible muscle, flesh, and fabric and cry into an imaginary shoulder. As if my partner hadn't just tried to wake me up and I didn't just cast a genjutsu on him to make him forget this happened for the fourth time. As if I hadn't had a nightmare before. I was practically living one now. Except I couldn't wake up from it. I remember that when I was dying on the shore that all I wanted was to go to sleep. Now insomnia haunts me. Before, I always wanted to save somebody. I am still trying to save somebody. But it's hard when I'm trapped in a nightmare like this. Trapped in my subjectively nightmarish reality. I feel drowned. Trapped. I wanted to save Shisui. I want to save Sasuke. I want to protect Konoha. But first, I think I need somebody to save me.
Somebody who isn't here until I close my eyes to escape the nightmare.
A/N: Quick oneshot while listening to Save Me by Eddie Rath. If you haven't heard of him, I encourage you to look him up. He's an awesome rapper. He makes the most incredible songs about Naruto, I swear. Some are heartbreaking. Some are empowering. Some are hilarious. But all are absolutely perfect. Look him up on You Tube! He's awesome.
Enjoy! Reviews make Itachi forget the nightmares~