Due North

Summary: In honour of Canada Day... Gibbs and DiNozzo investigate the death of a midshipman during an exchange programme at the Royal Military College. Warning: Obnoxious Canadiana, self-deprecating in-jokes. Read for a laugh. There's a plot, but not much of one.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just play with them.

A/N: The Royal Military College and the US Naval Academy are real places and I don't own them, either. The events in this story are entirely fictional, and I have peopled RMC and the Naval Academy with characters who are the product of my imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons or occurrences is accidental. My apologies to the staff and students of RMC for borrowing their campus as my crime scene; no disrespect is intended.

A lot of creative licence is involved in this story. And I do mean a lot. This would never happen this way. If real-world plausibility is what you look for, this isn't the story for you. I've taken whatever liberties were necessary to put Gibbs and DiNozzo in the situations where I wanted them. Don't flame me about the story being 'unrealistic'.

Gibbs swept into the bullpen like he always does – like a pilot with a bogey on his six. He dropped his now-empty coffee cup into an already-overflowing trash can and reached under his desk for the small hold-all that he kept there in case of unexpected trips out of town on a case.

'Grab your bag, DiNozzo. We're going to Kingston.'

Tony looked up from the paperwork he was pretending to fill in, a huge grin spreading across his face. He grabbed his own back-pack from the floor behind him, scrambling to his feet and pulling open the desk drawer where he keeps his service weapon when he's in the office.

'Oh, yeah. Ja-mai-ca. Just the thing for February.'

Tony was ebullient. Ziva and McGee both looked expectantly at Gibbs, unsure why they hadn't been invited to gather their things and both feeling a bit hurt that they weren't being included in the trip.

'Nope. Ontario,' Gibbs said with one of his grins.

Tony's face fell. McGee smirked, then openly laughed at the sudden change in Tony's attitude.

'That's in Canada, yes?' asked Ziva, knowing the answer but wanting to rub salt in Tony's disappointment.

'Boss... it's February.'

'So?'

'Canada? In February?'

'You got a problem with that, Agent DiNozzo?'

'No, Boss. Actually, yes, Boss. It's cold. It's snowy. It's... cold. And, why Canada anyway? That's sorta out of our jurisdiction, isn't it? We haven't invaded them, have we?'

'Exchange programme between the US Naval Academy and the Royal Military College. We've got a dead midshipman up there. The Canadians are letting us observe their investigation.'

By now, Gibbs was punching the elevator button and waiting impatiently for the car to arrive, and for his senior agent to get his ass over there.

'Leave the gun, DiNozzo. Unless you're planning to start a war. You said it yourself. We've no jurisdiction to do anything other than observe.'

Tony caught up just as the elevator arrived, juggling his bag and coat.

'Boss, c'mon, can't you take McGee? You might need his... computer skills or something....'

Tony shut up quickly when he saw the expression on Gibbs's face. Ziva and McGee, however, were far enough away to risk shouting after them.

'Hey, Tony, maybe you can get yourself one of those fur hats. I bet you won't even feel the cold in one of those.'

'Yes, and maybe the Mounties will lend you some snowshoes!'

The elevator door closed before Tony could tell them what they could do with their hats, snowshoes and red-tunicked police.