Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: the Last Airbender or anything therefore, they belong to Nickolodeon. If I did I would have Azula wear a miniskirt and go around lesbian raping the cast! Wee!
Oneshot: Ironic Torture
Ever since she had the Dai Li capture her fuddy duddy uncle, Azula had been pondering all manner of methods to pump him for information. Not that she expected much but her instincts were telling her that Iroh knew somethings. Somethings important and by Agni she was going get thems.
Being devilishly clever Azula ran through dozens of different forms of torture in her mind until finally she came across one that was deliciously ironic causing her to cackle maniacally out loud.
Needless to say a cackling Azula was significantly scarier than the standard Azula which was already scary enough to make grown special earthbending agents cry like babies so loss of bladder control ensued.
Mai and Ty Lee simply quirked eyebrows at their tyrannical friend.
"You Dai Li get my Uncle. You Dai Li come with me!" she barked orders the elite earthbenders snapped to in an instant simultaneously and perplexedly invigorated and frightened at the same time like lightning had been shot up their spines. Or maybe that's just what they were afraid of.
Following her orders they dragged Iroh to…the royal kitchen!? Of the Earth Palace of all places and shackled him to a large metal table.
"Do you expect me to talk Azula?" Iroh questioned defiantly.
"No Uncle Iroh I expect you to drink!" then she pointed at the hordes of Dai Li agents wheeling in jugs full of…hot tea!
Iroh stared at the sight with a mixture of childish puzzlement and childish glee as the massive kitchen was filled with large containers filled with all the kinds of delicious tea in the world. Well a little more glee than puzzlement.
"You like tea uncle?" Azula asked sinisterly causing the former general to nod furiously panting like a hungry dog.
"Well have all the tea in Ba Sing Se! Myahahahaha!" Azula cackled maniacally then ordered her Dai Li agents to start forcing tea down Iroh's throat.
Several hours later Iroh had inflated to several times his size.
"More." *gulp*
"More." *gulp*
"More." *gulp*
"More." *gulp*
The feat of human expansion both horrified and awed Azula who was sure he should have exploded like an overfilled balloon 3789 cups of tea ago but was still happily slurping down cup after cup after cup.
"I don't understand Long Feng went mad in fifteen minutes," Azula stared in puzzled awe at her highly bloated uncle whose opinion of her had changed from dislike to exceptional love.