He remained curled into himself, blatantly ignoring the pounding fist against the bathroom door and pretending he didn't notice the growing crack snaking its way through the wood from the brute force on the other side.

He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, begging no one in particular for it all to just stop.

A string of curses was spewed at the door, followed by one final slam before it all went quiet.

As much as he'd like to say that this was not a normal occurrence, that he didn't constantly cry himself asleep on the cold hard tile of the bathroom… it wouldn't be the truth.

Sure, he could put the blame on others for how he'd gotten into this situation. He wished he could say that it was all his fault. Blame his ex, saying that if he never cheated, he'd still be with him and not in his current predicament. But he wouldn't. Because at the end of the day, he knew who was to blame.

He was the one who had driven his ex into the arms of another man, he was the one that specifically chose Aiden, knowing he'd be quick to snap. He found that he kind of liked the pain. He deserved it after all. Maybe if he were a better boyfriend, he'd be living with his first love… his only love.

Kurt Hummel was a wreck, and he was not keen on changing his path.

Kurt woke early, having only slept about an hour or so. He crept out of the dark bathroom, the sounds of Aiden snoring in their room could be heard throughout the apartment. The coffee pot was filled and pancake batter was in the works by the time Aiden dragged himself out of bed. He came up from behind Kurt and wrapped his arms around his waist, "Sorry, babe." He breathed, his stubble scratching at his sensitive skin as the stench of alcohol washed over him, "You know-"

"You wouldn't do those things to me if I'd stop messing everything up. I know." Kurt finished his sentence, spooning the batter onto the hot pan and knowing he'd get hurt. He welcomed it.

Aiden tensed behind him, snapping his arm forward and wrapping his long fingers around Kurt's wrist, pressing his hand down towards the pan. Kurt resisted, trying in vain to keep his hand away from the heat, "Don't finish my sentences for me. It's fucking annoying and bitchy. I was trying to apologize." He growled, close to Kurt's ear.

With one final nudge, the heel of Kurt's hand hit the scorching pan. He held back a scream as his skin burned. Aiden finally released his hold on Kurt, sauntering away and calling back that he still expected his breakfast on the table by the time he got out of the shower.

Kurt bit his lip, working diligently through the pain. Once all of the pancakes were finished, he quickly poured Aiden his coffee, fixing it the way he liked it. He then set a spot at the table for Aiden before going to the hall bathroom and shutting the door. Looking at his hand, he knew he'd need to wrap it up.

He turned on the sink so that a gentle flow of cold water came out. Wincing slightly, he forced himself to keep the burn under the water. After a few minutes, he turned off the sink, rummaging around in the cabinets for the medical kit. He applied some burn ointment before carefully wrapping up the lower half of his hand. In the harsh light of the bathroom, he pretended he didn't see the scars that lined his wrist as those too disappeared behind the layer of gauze.

The air of confidence he usually held around him had diminished through time. He always tried to keep an aura of superiority, a sense that no one could touch him… but everything hurt him just the same as it did to others. He just didn't outwardly show it.

Kurt supposed that was probably why instead of taking out his aggression on others, he took everything out on himself. He was a perfectionist by nature, always wanting things to go a certain way. Keep your head held high, shoulders back, don't let them know they got to you, he'd tell himself. It worked for a while… until it didn't.

When things went downhill, he used to be able to just sing his feelings out. Glee club being his outlet, it allowed a lot of pent up emotions to pour out and people could understand.

But that was all in high school… back when his only worries were about what outfit he was going to wear the next day or whether he needed to bring a back up in case he were to get slushied. Of course there was the stint with Karofsky's unwanted sexual advances, but it was nothing he couldn't handle… not when he had Blaine.

Kurt hissed as he pulled the gauze too tightly when his thoughts brushed over his ex. That night when Blaine had admitted he'd cheated… that was the night that Kurt broke. When he told Finn he felt like he was going to die… it wasn't an exaggeration.

In truth, he hadn't felt truly alive since Blaine had taken his heart and stomped all over it. No matter what he did, he couldn't fix his heart. It would always have an irregular beat.

"Kurt!" Aiden called through the door, "Your dad called. Said something about your grandpa's car or some shit like that. I wasn't really paying attention. He told me to get you to call him back." Kurt opened the door, eyes pleading. Aiden huffed out an annoyed breath, fishing around in his pants pocket for Kurt's cell, "Here. I'm going out." He turned on his heel and snatched up his keys, leaving their home.

Kurt knew where he was going. He knew that Aiden was fucking other guys behind his back… but he couldn't find it in himself to care. It's not like it's never happened to him before.

Kurt dialed his father's number, waiting through the rings before he heard a gruff, "Hello?"

"Hey, Dad." Kurt went to sit on the sofa, finally feeling safe now that Aiden was out of the apartment again, "Aiden said that you called about Grandpa's car…?" He trailed off, wondering why his father would call to ask about his grandpa's car. His dad was the best mechanic in Lima. Surely he wouldn't need Kurt's help. Besides, he was all the way in New York, what help could he possibly be?

His father's breath hitched and Kurt was immediately worried. His dad never cried, "Kurt, it's not… It's not about his car, but that he was in a car accident." Kurt's chest constricted as he squeezed the phone closer to his ear, hanging on his father's every word, "I-I think you should probably come back home."

Kurt didn't ask why, already seeming to know. His grandfather was obviously in critical condition, "O-okay." He choked out, "I'll try to get there as soon as I can."

"You don't need to rush."

Those words caused an unpleasant twinge in the pit of his stomach, "Is he…?"

"Yeah…"

"I'll be there soon." Kurt told him, hurrying to hang up the phone.

Aiden burst through the door then, walking over to where his wallet was discarded on the front table, "Forgot my-" He stopped, mid reach, "The hell happened?"

Kurt stifled a cry, "My grandpa was in a car crash… He didn't make it." He felt sick as the words left his mouth, "I-I have t-to go to Lima."

Aiden frowned, "No you're not."

"B-but-"

"I said you're not going." He said again, his stormy eyes flashing, "It's not like you were super close with the old fart. You don't need to go."

Kurt let out an involuntary whine, covering his mouth as Aiden's eye twitched in anger, "P-please." He begged. Though it had been several years since he'd seen his grandfather, it still didn't dampen the pain of his loss. He was his mother's father, the last piece of her he had left seeing as his grandmother died a few years back.

Aiden's lip curled up in distaste at Kurt's persistence, "Fine, whatever. But we're not going to stay long." He warned.

"Thank you." Kurt thanked him as he got onto his phone and booked two tickets – both first class, on Aiden's insistence – to Lima for the next morning. He went and packed up a bag of his things, making sure he had enough cover up for all of the bruises that still hadn't faded away. Knowing he'd be back around his family and friends, being careful of hiding the injuries would be top priority.

The next morning, Kurt and Aiden were on their way to Ohio. Nerves pooled in his chest. He hadn't been back to Lima in two years… a lot has changed since then. Honestly, he dreaded seeing the familiar small town. The knowledge that most of his friends were scattered across the country and most likely wouldn't be there was a slight comfort.

McKinley just had their graduation a few weeks ago, so he hoped that most of the New Directions that knew him had already left town… At least then he wouldn't have to worry about keeping up his façade around more than just his immediate family.

As soon as the plane skidded to a halt and the fasten seat belt sign was dimmed, Aiden jumped up, grabbing their bags from the overhead compartment before snatching Kurt out of his seat, "Get a move on. I don't want to be here any longer than I have to in this Podunk town."

Kurt moved as fast as he could, dragging his wheeling bag behind him. Aiden's hand rested at the base of his neck as they walked. They got the rest of their bags in the baggage claim and then went out to grab an airport taxi. Much to his father's disappointment, Aiden had made sure they would stay in a hotel.

Kurt called his dad and told him that he'd come by the house as soon as he dropped his things off in the hotel room… Of course Aiden had different plans, saying they should break in the bed seeing as they would be staying for more than one night.

He grudgingly agreed, knowing he'd most likely get beaten up if he didn't. Sex wasn't something special to Kurt anymore. After Aiden finished, rolling off of Kurt to go clean himself up in the bathroom, Kurt remained in the bed, staring at the ceiling.

You matter, Kurt. His father's voice rang in his ears.

Kurt wasn't so sure about that.

===============================gLee=================================

I'm not sure where this came from. I was working on This Isn't Me and then I just randomly started writing this. Let me know what you all thought of it. :)