The darkness is my ally. My blade is my only friend. I know not forgiveness, only death. I live only to kill and to honor thy family.
These were thoughts that flowed through the mind of a simple Breton as he sat and stared into the flames of a forge. He watch the embers spark and dance in the air, then quickly die. The Breton was in a trance, watching the show of destruction, never moving an inch out his place. The flames themselves embraced the very figure of this man; to the greens of his eyes, the blackness in his hair, and the stoic expression on his face. This was a person who was barely in his prime, but alas this Breton wore the clothing of the Dark Brotherhood.
Trained to kill without mercy or hesitation, that was the skill of this man. The thought of striking fear into his target before taking their heart, is what brought some enjoyment to him. Always eager to prove himself and to apes his family. Again those words repeated in his mind, until a familiar voice broke him from his trace. "At the forge again I see, Lucius." remarked the voice of a small girl.
Lucius merely turned his head at the girl and said, "Shouldn't you be at your alchemist station or in a candy store, Babette?"before turning his head back towards the flames.
Babette just rolled her eyes and moved in closer to see what he was up too. She then saw a freshly made dagger in his right hand.
"Another dagger Lucius, don't you have enough already?" asked Babette with a narrow gaze.
"The true mark a craftsman, is always improving on a simple item." answered Lucius. He then flipped the dagger, holding it on its point, and offered the hilt for her to grab. She did just that and examined every inch of the blade to see for any imperfections; her questioning look soon turned into one of slight surprise.
"Seems that your craft is improving; it's probably sharp enough to slice someones throat with ease."
"Or to stab through a persons gut, but the use depends on the holders preference" added Lucius.
"But it's such a shame the blacksmith has no preference for a little self-enjoyment."
Upon hearing these words, Lucius quickly turned fully towards Babette with a sharp gaze and questioning look.
"And what is that suppose mean?" he asked still with the look.
"It means…" began Babette with slight grin. "...that the blacksmith, which is you, seems to have no need for some a life's simple pleasures."
Lucius's questioning look quickly became a face of pure frustration. For years Babette had always found ways in testing his patience, taking enjoyment from it. The fact that Babette was a vampire angered him even more, not because he wanted to be one, but because this welp would torment him to his grave. The thought of killing this brat had always crossed his mind; kill her in sleep, or throw her outside during the daytime and lock the door. It was so simple, but also very dangerous. For Babette knew, as well as he did, that killing her would bring of the wrath of Astrid; and that was something nobody in the Brotherhood would dare trifle with. So Lucius just merely sat there and listened to her banter.
"I'm honestly surprised that man of your age, hasn't found the desire for a bit of company. I mean it's so easy just walk into a place, like Riften, and find a good harlot for a good price. Maybe she'll take you across the town or better yet, across all of Skyrim. And since you're in your prime, maybe you'll be able to keep her up until the daylight arrives, or just give out five minutes in."
As she finished, her grin grew wider and her eyes focused on Lucius to see his reaction. Lucius just stared at her with a deadpan expression, never moving an inch. Babette immediately saw this and her enjoyment quickly turned into frustration.
"Well, you're no fun today!" exclaimed an annoyed Babette.
Lucius continued sitting in his place, but with a small smirk.
"Did you really think I would be foolish enough to fall for your little games?" said Lucius mockingly, still basking in his victory.
Clenching her fists, Babette made one final effort in killing away her boredom. "I was at least hoping for a small outburst, but it would seem that this boy has finally turned into a man. Oh woe was me for thinking I could annoy such a stoic man. A person who has as much expression as a stone. This person wouldn't even know the meaning of humor, even if it bit him. Yes, what a fool I
was to think that way against such a dull, boring, man."
Silence.
Lucius's look had not changed, not even an inch. His posture remained still and unmoving. The look in his eyes was devoid of all emotion. He was as still as a statue and as lifeless as one. Babette's last attempt at angering Lucius had failed, and she knew it.
Her mind soon filled with anger and rage to the thought of murdering this arrogant kid without remorse or mercy. The grip on the handle of the dagger, in her right hand, had tightened the more these thoughts grew. Gritting her teeth and cursing his name, she was ready to strike, but then Lucius said something off character.
"Although your mindless babbling failed to strike a cord; you are however right." said Lucius as he arose from his seat.
Babette quickly regained her composure, but was soon flabbergasted upon hearing these words. Never before had Lucius ever admitted that she was right at anything; normally it was the usual empty threats and violent outbursts. "Who is this person?", thought Babette with a questioning gaze.
Lucius immediately took notice and decided to answer her unspoken question. "Your mockery of my life holds some ground. It's been a while since I've stepped foot outside; I barley even remember the last I did.", he answered distantly. As he finished he then leaned his body back on a cobblestone wall, a downcast look forming on his eyes.
Babette was puzzled by this, his look and attitude were out of place. She then quickly started analyzing him and slowly start to notice hint of sadness within his eyes. It was faint, but it was enough to make her feel slightly sorry for Lucius. Realizing this, she walk slowly towards him and leaned herself, on the same wall, next to him.
Minuets had passed, but to them it felt like days. Neither had said a word, they just stared aimlessly at the other wall across the room. "These walls are starting to feel like prison...", mused Lucius. Babette immediately took notice and looked up as if encouraging him to go on. "...slowly draining every bit of life spiritually and mentally. It's all been the same for nearly a year. This forge, that sharper, this smelter over here, this entire room, with it's mossy walls, has remained unchanged. It's all the same."
"What are you taking about Lucius?"
"I won't expect you understand, since all you do is just craft poisons throughout the day." answered Lucius as he slowly walked to the middle of the room. "Look at me, an assassin trained by our leader herself; cursed here to slowly rot and wither into nothingness."
"Lucius you're still not making any sense, are you ungrateful for what she has done for you?"
"It's not that!"
"Then what is it?!"
"It's the fact that I have contributed nothing to our family! I train just as hard as anyone else in this shelter, if not more! I've honed my skills, learned different forms of magic, and even studied the basics of alchemy. I've learned things that would take a normal person maybe ten years to learn, in only the span of two.". Lucius then slowly walked towards the wall and placed his right hand upon it. "All these things I've done out of gratitude...", he began, "...never asking for anything more; however, everyday I see the others prove their worth and gaining praise because of it. Veezara, Nazir, Gabriella, Arnbjorn, they all prove why they belong in this family, but I can't say the same for me.". Lucius's head slumped below his shoulders, his hand soon formed a fist as if he wanted to punch the very wall he stood in front of. "Oh, how I long to show them that I belong, but alas I'm stuck here crafting steel daggers only allowed to venture to the pond outside. That is what bothers me.". He then turned his body to face Babette, who was still leaned against the wall.
"Satisfied?", he asked.
Babette just let out a sigh and said, "Who knew a person like you could whine almost like a child."
"Huh?"
"Look Lucius if this what bothers you, then why don't you just ask Astrid yourself?"
Lucius's eyes quickly looked to the side, almost as if trying to avoid answering.
"Oh don't tell me you're afraid of her?"
"Well aren't you?"
Babette's eyes soon widen and quickly pondered on that question; it didn't take long.
"Good point, Lucius, good point." she retorted.
"But still..." started Babette, "...it doesn't hurt to try."
"I could swear your trying to get me killed."
"Now why would I do that to such a 'gifted' assassin like yourself?"
"Oh I could think of so many reasons why."
"Lucius, I have more to lose the you do."
"Wait, how do you have more to lose than me!"
"Well, if you die than who else would have fun with? I mean everyone else is either too infatuated with death or too serious. Out of everyone, you're the most normal person here.
Sigh* "…I don't think 'normal' is the correct word."
"Well I don't care." Babette said while crossing her arms. "Either you go or I will, and besides you're no fun when you're all mopey and depressed."
Rolling his eyes Lucius reluctantly agreed, knowing the he really didn't have a choice in the matter; it was begin done whether he liked it or not.
"Now that's good to hear!" exclaimed Babette in merriment.
"Go forth assassin, and face your fears!"
"Could I at least have my dagger back?"
"Okay, here you go.", she said smugly as she handed him back the dagger.
Lucius merely took a few steps and snatched the dagger, and placed it in it's holder. Without saying a word, Lucius then opened the door and proceed on towards Astrid.
Babette now was left in a blacksmith's room with else but herself. She now wondered what she could do with this eminence free time she was given. "Hm, without someone to bug, I guess I'll just go work on some potions. Wait, bug? Ah! That's it! I'll make a potent frostbite venom! I just hope Lis up to the task?
With that said, she strode on towards her station with a small smile plastered on her face. "Hm, I hope Lucius's talk with Astrid goes well?", she thought to herself as she arrived closer to her destination.
[~]
There he was, in front of door that separated him and Astrid. It hadn't been much of a walk in the first place, but the shear thought of this action is what made this one in peculiar feel like an eternity. Astrid was a women whose mere mention was enough to shake anyone to their core. Equal in beauty as she was deadly. To ever defy her was suicide or something far worse than death. This was the women who trained him to be an assassin. It was excruciating to say the least, but Lucius survived; however, even with that he still felt as if she hadn't taught him everything. It wouldn't have surprised him if she did; the fact was she was to be feared and for good reasons.
Lucius just stood there staring at the door examining every little detail. From it's iron frames to its brass knob, Lucius was trying to think of a reason to not go in. Every second he stood their felt like days to him. His breaths soon became ragged, but he was able muster up enough courage to go through with his action. With a trembling hand, Lucius slowly reached for the knob and twisted it. He opened the door ever so slightly, slowly seeing the picture of the other room increasing. He soon stopped when he was in full view of Astrid. Lucius could see everything, her blond hair, her pale skin, her brotherhood armor, and her deep blue eyes staring right at him.
"It's rude to walk into room without knocking, Lucius. You might loss your head doing that." she said without emotion. Lucius never said a word, he just stood their frozen in place afraid to move a step.
"Do you something to tell me or not?" she commanded.
Lucius soon snapped back to reality and quickly answered her. "Yes I do." he replied, voice sightly trembling.
"Yes I do, what?", ordered Astrid, her patience clearly wearing thin.
"Yes I do have something to tell you, ma'am.", answered Lucius, fearing for his life.
"Then what is it that you have to tell me, that is more important than this?" she questioned bitterly.
Lucius looked closer and soon realized that Astrid was in fact busy. This made his blood run cold, for time and time again she warned him never to interrupt her with petty matters. From the looks of it, she studying the map of Skyrim on a large elevated wooden table. Her face didn't make it any better, for it bared the look of anger towards his sudden presence.
"I was just wanted know-", began Lucius, his heart feeling like it was about to burst, "-if you would allow me to take the next contract, someone offers us?"
Astrid simply smiled and directed a more loving gaze at Lucius. "And what is the your reason for wanting this?" she asked.
Lucius relaxed a bit and carefully chose his words to reveal his reason. "I wish to contribute towards this family and prove that I am worthy of our ranks." he answered confidently.
"And whoever said you were not worthy to wear our garbs?"
"No one, ma'am. It's just that I simply feel as if I'm not contributing any by staying in this shelter."
"And would that fault be pointed at me?"
His confidence was then violently shattered upon hearing that. Astrid face was still in that loving gaze, but now he realized that it was just to put him in false sense of comfort. He couldn't think of any words to say, nor could he mutter a single phrase. His mind was in a haze and he felt as if the very world around was slowly shattering.
"It's okay Lucius, I will simply take your silence as an answer." she cheerfully said. "Now come closer and let me see how you are."
He audibly gulped and hesitated to follow her command.
"I said, come closer." again she said, but this time in a more bitter tone.
He inched his way and was halfway towards the table until…
"Stop, that is far enough." she commanded.
Lucius stood still never daring to move a muscle as he saw her come near. She just studied him, looking at every little detail that was on him. Her height was about the same as his, but Lucius didn't care for the. He was just fearful of what thoughts were forming in her head.
"You can relax now, Lucius." she whispered in his ear.
Lucius did just that and sighed in relief.
"It would seem that you have changed quite a bit. You're starting to show promise and maybe you may even surpass me.", she noted. "May you unsheathe your dagger for me?"
"Yes, ma'am.", Lucius said as he did just that and showed Astrid the gleaming beauty which was the dagger.
"There's no need to hand it to me, I can already see it from here and it is a fine weapon. At this rate you might even rival Arnbjorn's steel work."
"Thank you, ma'am. I have been working tirelessly in perfecting my craft."
"I can see, but tell me, do feel that you are ready for a contract?"
"Yes I do, ma'am. I've been studying all the vital points of the human body, and was trained by a wonderful teacher. I feel confident that I am ready to take any contract."
"Confident, you say? Such a word you have never used before, let alone show."
Lucius's gaze then harden and he stood at attention like a proud solider. "I am ready to prove myself, not only the brotherhood, but to you as well, Master.", he said forcefully.
"Fine, then let me embrace you for all of your hardships."
Her arms quickly wrapped around his back and she gently place her head on his left shoulder. To say that Lucius was scared, would have been an understatement. Lucius was completely mortified by this sudden show of affection. His mind was screaming at him to release himself from this, but dared not to act and risk provoking her.
"It's so good to see my own pupil is starting to blossom...", she said graciously while moving her head closer to his ear. "...but you're still not ready.", she cooed quietly.
In a flash, Lucius soon found himself flying in the air and landing hard on his behind. Lucius instinctual wanted to get back on his feet, but soon himself in some sort of headlock with dagger pressed against his neck. He peered down only to see that his own dagger was missing form its sheathe. It soon dawned on him of what had transpired. Astrid had used her grip on him and quickly flung him to the ground, taking out his dagger in the process.
"What's wrong Lucius, confused by my actions; or are you simply too terrified to speak?", she asked viciously.
Lucius wouldn't have admitted it, but he was both emotions at once. Why was she doing this? Had he said something wrong? Is this where it all ends? Those were just some of the questions that ran through his mind.
"No need to answer, again, I'll just take your silence as a reply.", she said as she chuckled sinisterly. "Just because you've trained so hard, doesn't make yourself worthy of a contract. You're only worthy when I say you are. And you're actions just now goes to show how much you lack. You simply thought you could just waltz in here, while I was preoccupied, and say your demands?"
Lucius was frozen with fear, but was able to forced himself to answer. "N..no...ma'am.", he said.
Astrid could see that Lucius was completely scared out of his mind, like small child without his parents. She couldn't help but enjoy every second of it. She gently placed a soft hand upon his black hair and started caressing it lightly.
"It's okay Lucius-", she softly whispered. "-I'm not going to kill you. You're too 'special' for me to kill. Just think of this as a sign of 'love' and 'compassion'. I wouldn't want my own pupal to think of himself better than his own master, now would I?"
Lucius just turned his head side to side as an answer.
"Good, now you're starting to know your place. You obey me and only me, understand?"
"I understand...master.", he whimpered.
"That's good to hear, now go run along and play." she said relaxing her hold.
Lucius was about to do just that until she tightened her hold once more.
"Oh, and one more thing-", she said while using her left hand to turn his face to hers. "-if it so happens that we have this conversation again. I'll make sure not to be so lenient the next time. Understand?"
I..I understand, master.", he struggled.
"Good. Your may leave now.", she said as she released her hold; placing the dagger back in its sheathe during the process.
Lucius immediately sprung to his feet and quickly ran outside the sanctuary. He took a minute to catch his breath; placing his right hand on a nearby boulder near the entrance. He soon looked up to the sky and saw that it was mid-morning. "So, I guess I've been down there for too long.", he mused to himself.
He quickly checked the spot where Astrid had placed the dagger, and to his relief found no wound or cut. Deep down inside, however, was a different story. His hope was shattered, torn apart and ripped into a million pieces. To think that his own hard work could even convince her was futile. He was merely her apprentice as she was his master. This is how it is and always shall be.
Lucius realized this and deiced not to go back inside the sanctuary. Instead, he decided to walk to the pond nearby. It was modest size pond, not large enough to contain fishes but enough to grow foliage. It had been here in the same spot for as long as he'd been with the brotherhood. This was the only place he knew where he could relax his mind and body. This time, however, he was mend his broken spirit.
Once he arrived, he immediately sat down on the ground and simply pondered over Astrid's words. "You're only worthy, when I say you are.", were the words that constantly repeated in his head. Over and over again they repeated as if they were ingrained into his memory.
This went on for minutes without end. Consistently being mentally tortured by those very words, it was almost unbearable. Trying of something say, to argue, to think of anything that would make this phrase go away. This proved to be a worthless endeavor, for the phrase only proved more prominent the more fought against it.
He soon gave up on trying to resist, and expected this statement as fact. He would never be worthy, until she said otherwise. This sadden Lucius for all he wanted to do prove himself and bring honor to his family, but alas it was not to be. "I guess...I'll wait.", he whispered to himself.
A sudden noise erupted from the sky. This only perked up Lucius attention slightly. He looked up to the sky and saw what appeared to be a lizard with wings. "A dragon, no it can't be?" he thought to himself. The figure just flapped its wing for a few moments and flew off towards the mountains.
Lucius just watched as it went, smaller and smaller until it was nowhere to be seen.
Lucius just moved his head in disbelief to what he just saw. "I really must be losing my mind.", he said to himself. He soon shrugged it off as just a figment of his imagination and returned back to his mental confinement.