Sam watched Dean roll over in his sleep. He loved his brother he really did, but he failed to see how Dean could have been so stupid as to make a deal to sell his soul in exchange for his brothers' life. Grudgingly Sam realised that had the roles been reversed he would have made the deal too, but he still couldn't believe Dean had been so selfish, especially how he had felt after Dad had died.

Sam scrubbed his hand over his gritty eyes and sighed. Dad's death had almost killed Dean, hell it had been hard on him to but he hadn't had the same relationship with the man as Dean had. Dean had hero worshipped the guy and had always been closer to him than Sam had.

Sam looked up as Dean mumbled something unintelligible in his sleep. Sam knew that Dean was afraid of the results that the deal would have, he wore a mask, his 'game face', but Sam could see right through it and every time Sam tried to talk to him about some research he'd done on the deal and the crossroad demon Dean just waved it away or told Sam that he wasn't gonna risk Sam dropping dead on a hunch.

So that was how Sam had been reduced to staying up to all hours of the night researching and watching Dean sleep.

So far it had been six months and Sam had found no solid information on how to break the deal. Sam knew that the information had to be out there somewhere and he was determined to find it.

Dean looked so young and innocent in his sleep. Sam would look up frequently from his research just to make sure he was still there, just to make sure that the demon wouldn't come early, just to make sure that he was safe. Sam needed Dean and although Dean kept saying that Sam would be fine once he was gone. But what Sam thought was a different story.

Dean had just wanted to spend a normal Christmas with Sam; he had said that he wanted his last Christmas to be a happy one. He wanted just for him and Sammy to hang out.

Sam had refused, he had felt guilty as hell when he saw the hurt in Dean's eyes but it was just too much for him.

If Sam spent that normal Christmas with Dean than it would mean that Dean was really dying, and Sam had lost enough people in his life already, he couldn't lose Dean to, so instead of spending Christmas with his brother, Sam had spent the time researching, trying desperately to find a way to save Dean.

Sam looked over at Dean, who was starting to wake up and began scrambling to put the laptop away before Dean could see what he was up to.

"Hey" Dean mumbled groggily

"Hey yourself."

Fully woken up Dean Sensed an awkward moment and that Sam was going to bring up the events of last night so Dean spoke before Sam could open his mouth

"Look Sam, I know that we didn't exactly agree last night but just drop it ok? I get it. I do so let's just get outa this no name town and find another hunt, ok?"

Dean didn't even give the kid a chance to answer before grabbing some clothes from his duffel and heading to the bathroom.

Sam just stared after his brother. He knew that Dean was still hurting from Sam refusing to spend just one normal day with his brother. Cursing himself Sam sighed. He knew that Dean would play it down but Sam knew that he had really hurt his brother; sighing Sam knew that he had to make it right.

When Dean exited the bathroom he found Sam holding out a coffee.

"Thanks" he eyed Sam warily

"Here, this is for you." Sam said quietly handing Dean the hastily wrapped gift. "Merry Christmas" he added so quietly that Dean could hardly hear him

Dean took the gift, unsure of what to do he glanced at Sam who was watching him a nervous look.

Slowly unwrapping the gift Dean heard Sam speak

"I know that I was a jerk last night but you have to understand I can't lose you, Dean, your the only family that I've got left and I can't just give up on you. I've lost everyone, Mum, Dad...Jess, and I just can't lose you too. So please don't ask me to give up, I'll try not to be so inconsiderate and I'll try to relax but please , please don't ask me to just let you go 'cos I just can't"

Dean looked up from unwrapping his gift and looked Sam straight in his tear filled eyes.

"I get what your trying to do Sammy, but if I try to weasel out of this deal you drop dead! I can't live with you dead. Don't give up on me if you don't want to Sam but please run anything you find by me first, I just can't deal with you dead and I don't want you to suddenly drop dead and leave me to wonder what the hell you did!"

Dean's hands were shaking. He looked up at Sam and wouldn't you know it the kid was crying again. Dean felt his own dam threaten to break but kept it at bay by sheer will.

Walking over to his duffel Dean pulled out a humbly wrapped gift and handed it to Sam.

"Are we done here Samantha? cos' I don't know about you but I've had enough chick flick moments to last me a life time!"

Sam sighed, there went Dean's wall. Sam had chipped some of it away only for it to be replaced just as quick.

Sam began to unwrap the gift that Dean gave him as Dean finished opening Sam's. Sam had given Dean a new bowie knife with his initials: D.W ingraved on the hilt.

Dean loved it. He vowed that he would always keep it, however long always was.

Dean had given Sam a leather bound journal, similar to their dad's.

"Merry Christmas Sammy"

"Merry Christmas Dean"

Sam knew that it wouldn't be the last time that they argued about the deal but he decided to just forget about it for the moment, and just enjoy him and Dean being brothers again.