Title: Bye
Author: Becca
Category: I hope sad. That's what I'm going for, here.
Summary: A little James loses his parents.
Disclaimer: I don't own…blah blah blah…this ain't mine, yada yada yada…
Author's Note: I began this while watching the fireworks on the 4th of July. Little did I know that the next day, my mom would come home from work early, and inform me that uncle was killed in a car crash. Sort of weird, don't you think? One night I'm writing about a funeral, the next day my uncle dies? Anyway, I dedicate this story to him, and pray that he rests in peace. God speed, Uncle Brian.
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Since I was a little boy, I can remember Daddy always smiling at me. Mummy too. They were always smiling at me, telling me how beautiful I was, and how special I was. Everyday, Mum and Daddy would spend one hour holding me, telling me how wonderful I was, and that I was their special little man. I like the attention. I always got it, and I knew that if I ever had a son, I had to treat him the same way.
I also remember the hugging. And the kissing. A day never went by where I had to wipe lipstick off my cheeks from where Mum kissed me. Always hugging me, telling me they'd never leave me, never ever leave me alone. But they did.
I'm only seven years old. People don't think I know what's going on, but I understand all too well. There's a psycho path on the lose, they call him He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Otherwise known as Voldemort. This person is going around, killing people who don't deserve to die. Like my parents. They didn't do anything to this man. They didn't try to hurt him. They never hurt anyone. They were loving parents who knew right from wrong.
And yet here I am, holding a black rose, and watching two caskets being lowered into the ground. My Auntie is hovering over me, keeping a steady hand on my shoulder, and silently keeping her tears from wetting her cheeks. I know it's sad. I know I should be crying. But I'm not. Why aren't I crying?
Mum hated people who didn't let their emotions out. She said that anyone who hid their emotions hid their love. One time, one of my friends was in an accident. I didn't cry. Mum got mad because I didn't cry. I didn't understand: I was five, and didn't see the need for crying. He hadn't died, just seriously hurt. But she told me that if I didn't let the sadness out, I'd never survive life.
I'm sorry, Mum. I want to cry, I really do, but I don't know how. I've never cried. I want to cry, I want to share my emotions about you and Daddy, but I don't know how. Daddy always said, "be tough. Hang in there." I guess I'm just more like Daddy then I am you.
Auntie just put a flower on your casket, Dad. I guess I'll do the same. There. I put my black rose on your casket, Daddy. It's the only dark flower on there. It looks kind of funny, how it's just sitting there with all these white and yellow flowers. Mum has flowers on her casket, too. She has these tiny blue flowers, and her favorite: lilies. There's a whole center piece of all different lilies. I know Monet was your favorite painter, Mummy, because he painted water lilies. I know you loved them.
I can see your best friend, Dad. You know, Joel? He's not crying either. But he looks sad. He looks very sad. His face is all dark, and his eyes aren't shinning like they normally are. He just looked at me. He winked at me, and so I smiled back. That wink made me feel better. Joel always winks. He's done that as long as I can remember.
Mummy? Daddy? Why'd you have to go? I know Auntie will take care of me, and I'm looking forward to living with her, but I want to be with you. Mum, you smell better then Auntie, and Daddy, you tell more jokes then Auntie. I remember she would always go "tsk tsk" at your jokes, especially the ones about ditzy Slytherin girls. I know she was a Slytherin girl. That's why it was so funny.
Everyone's walking away now. I guess I should too, because Auntie is patting my shoulder. Joel's walking over—he's giving Auntie a hug, and she's giving one back. Oh, now Joel is leaning down at me.
"Hang in there, kiddo."
I just nod my head, and that's when a wave of pain hits me. Daddy, you always said that when something sad happened. But you can't say it, now. So Joel has to say it.
I don't want Joel, saying, Dad! I want you saying it! I want you here! Mum, I want you to be the one leading me away, not Auntie. Why did this happen to our family? What did we ever do wrong? We didn't do anything.
You'd be proud Mum, I've let my tears go. I'm showing my sadness, Mum! Aren't you proud? I'm proud. I'm proud I let that little wall in my heart get knocked down. I'm proud that you two are in heaven with the angels. I'm proud to be your son.
I want to say goodbye.
Goodbye, Mum.
Goodbye, Dad.
I love you both.
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