Chapter 1: Teyla, Davy Jones and Edward Cullen on a quest against Moss Hedon

It was a stormy night and Teyla Emmagan, Davy Jones and Cedric Diggory were sitting in a pub. And Moss Hedon was passing by just then. With an evil flash in his eye he threw himself on Teyla, yelling: "You are a completely useless character!" and he tried to stab her in her perfectly shaped abs. Edward leapt up swiftly thanks to his vampire instincts and knocked the knife from Moss' hand. When Moss realized Edward was a vampire and he didn't stand a chance against him, he bounced and ran away.

Davy Jones started after him screaming: "Do you fear death?"

Moss replied: "Have you ever seen one of my shows? Me and Death, we're like best pals. Mwa ha ha ha ha." And he ran off into the darkness.

Davy Jones pursued. He was joined by Teyla and Cedric followed by the innkeeper shouting: "And who's gonna pay for all this, you..." But they couldn't hear the rest.

Out of breath, Teyla said: "Moss must die. We need a plan."

Davy Jones nodded with his tentacles and added: "I'll show him, not fearing death."

Due to his sudden transformation Edward had lost the superhuman speed ability so he was running alongside the group.

The group soon found out they didn't know which way to run because Moss ran off into the darkness. Edward said: "I know a guy who might be able to help us."

He explained his idea to them and a few hours later they were at Jacob Black the werewolf's house.

Jake was just having a tea party with his best friend Bruce Wayne.

"So you are the famous Jacob about whom we have heard so much from our friend Cedric?" asked Teyla.

Jacob responded: "Yes. What would you need from me?"

"Moss Hedon. Must die. We heard that you have certain contacts that might help us."

Jacob smiled cunningly and pulled out his ultramodern Nokia 3310 phone.

Then Bruce Wayne interjected and he said he knew the right person to help them exactly with this problem just by the way.

"Hey, I'm talking. Shut up. We'll get back to you in a minute," said Jacob. Then he lowered his voice so that he wouldn't be overheard while speaking on the phone.

Davy, Edward and Teyla glanced at each other in confusion, while Jacob was laughing on the phone evilly. Meanwhile, Bruce got up angrily, kicked the door open, jumped into his Batmobile and rode off, tires squeaking.

"Thank you. Tomorrow at 3 will be good," Jacob finished his call. With a grave face he finished his call and looked at the trio over the tips of his fingers. "So. Here's the plan."

After another three hours of Jacob's monologue when everyone had totally fallen asleep, Batman came back. "Harvey Dent. Get into the Batmobile. We're going to the Oscars." Everyone said goodbye to Jacob and Davy Jones erased his black spot.

"The Oscars?" said Teyla once they had settled inside the vehicle. "We will have to make a stop in a shop. I do not have anything to wear."

"I happen to know a shop nearby," said Bruce. "It's called Hot Topic or something like that."

Davy Jones interrupted that. "We need no dress. We're late as it is," gurgled Davy Jones. "Could somebody go over the plan again? Where do we get our tickets?"

The hall where the Oscars were being given out that year was swarming with lots of photographers, celebrities and fans hoping to seize an autograph.

"Moss is hiding here somewhere. We have half an hour to find him before he disappears," said Cedric.

"But he's over there in a box talking to Stair MacReally," pointed Davy Jones.

"Oh no. The plan is ruined," Teyla noted angrily. Everybody ignored her.

It had all looked quite simple. Come in, grab Moss, then take him out. But Morpheus appeared at the scene.

"Okay, what are we waiting for then?" Cedric took out his wand and pointed it at Moss.

Teyla grabbed his hand and lowered his wand. "Are you insane? Does the International Wizard Secrecy Contract from 1782 mean anything to you? We cannot do it this way. Besides, Morpheus is so awesome he would block it." She shook her head. "We need to respond in kind. Davy?"

"This is an unexpected complication. We need to get to a safe distance from Morpheus."

"There is no such thing as safe distance from Morpheus!" cried Teyla. "It has to be now or never."

Suddenly Stair MacReally spoke as he rose in the box next to Moss and exclaimed to the whole hall full of Hollywood big names: "I have an important announcement." That got everyone's attention.

"This is our last chance to get Moss," Teyla gritted through her teeth.

"Me and Moss have agreed that from now on, I am going to make movies and he will compose the soundtracks." Panic erupted and Teyla and her group knew they had to move fast to save the innocent Stair MacReally from the fans. Moss was doomed.

Suddenly somebody said: "Where's Bruce?"

And at that moment Batman descended into the box. He was trying to grab Stair and pull him from the claws of the furious crowd. He failed, because his rope snapped. Batman's last thought was that he was approaching the ground.

Then darkness enveloped everything.