lonely (too long)
Head + Heart Series, Part Two
Sequel to One Night

It's not your eyes
It's not what you say
It's not your laughter that gives you away
You're just lonely
You've been lonely, too long
-The Civil Wars, Dust to Dust

Standing in her bra, jeans, and socks, Georgie opened her closet doors and began shuffling through the neatly ordered clothes. Humming softly to the music playing lowly on her laptop, she pushed past the summer dresses and fingered a few of the tops, pulling out a light pink sweater before deciding against it and putting it back. The weather had become cooler over the past few days, and while it was supposed to warm up again the second week in September right now she needed something heavier. She was debating a red sweater when the sound of a door slamming against the wall dividing her room and Maxie's alerted her to the fact that her sister was now awake.

Glancing over her shoulder she noted the time and fought the urge to groan. At this rate Maxie would be late, no doubt about it. And her sister knew it, too.

"Damn it Georgie!" Maxie shouted as she passed by her sister's bedroom door. "Why didn't you wake me up, now I'm going to be late!"

There was another bang of the bathroom door followed by the sound of the shower being turned on.

Shaking her head Georgie muttered in response, "because it's not my responsibility."

Those last four words had become Georgie's motto over the past three weeks. While she knew she was a natural caretaker, she had finally admitted to herself that she too often took it too far. It wasn't her responsibility to parent her older sister. She would, of course, always be there for her and support her no matter what, but she would no longer accept responsibility for Maxie's actions, including making sure that her sister woke up on time.

But that hadn't stopped her from stepping in one last time.

Georgie had warned her sister that if she didn't end things with Lucky, permanently, then she would go to Mac and tell him everything. A look had entered Maxie's eyes following her threat which had given Georgie pause for concern, but that was quickly followed by a look of defeat and Maxie agreed, if reluctantly, to end it. And as far as Georgie knew, Maxie had kept her promise. And no matter how much she wanted to ask Maxie she hadn't.

Giving up the urge to control her sister's life for her had been somewhat difficult, which had surprised her; she thought it would have been easy, a relief. Pausing and staring off into space Georgie mused that she might have some slight control issues in addition to her need to care for others. Maybe they went hand in hand.

Lost in her own thoughts Georgie hadn't realized she'd reached the end of her closet until her fingertips brushed against the soft, smooth, expensive fabric of Jason's jacket. Pausing she pushed aside a blouse and drawing her bottom lip between her teeth she gazed at it thoughtfully for a moment.

Jason had left town shortly after That Night, as Georgie had come to think of it, with capitals and in italics, and hadn't been heard from since. Only Georgie knew when and had a vague notion of where he'd went, since the following afternoon on her way to a last minute shift at Kelley's she noticed a small box sitting in the passenger's seat of her car.

Inside there was a short note from Jason and a disposable cell phone. In his own messy scrawl Jason told her that he was going away for a while, he needed to clear his head, and the West always helped him do that, but that if she needed anything, anything at all, to call him and he would be right there. The note and the phone left Georgie with a warm glow that hadn't quite gone away yet, even after the last few weeks. It had also left her feeling very shy and slightly confused, why would Jason go to the trouble?

After all, it was just a kiss. Granted it was, up until that point in her life, the most passionate kiss she'd ever experienced, but it was still just a kiss. One kiss didn't bind him to her, other adults shared more than just a kiss and it didn't have to mean anything. But Jason's note left her wondering, was it more than 'just a kiss.'

Shaking herself from her thoughts Georgie blindly grabbed at a blue and white stripped sweater and tugged it down over her head. As she finished getting ready for the day she thought again about the cell phone sitting in her purse.

She had only used it once about three days after he left, when Sonny, Carly and Sam were about ready to tear the city apart looking for him. They were convinced that one of his enemies, more specifically Lorenzo Alcazar, had done something to him and that he was dead, news which traveled back to the Quartermaines very quickly. Seeing Alan, at the hospital, so clearly upset had left Georgie feeling very guilty and while she wasn't sure how she would explain how she knew where he was, she knew she could call Jason.

He didn't pick up, so she left an awkward message, so softly spoken out of fear that someone would hear her in the locker room that she was left equally worried he wouldn't have been able to understand her. But she kept it simple. She told him that she understood why he needed to leave, that she knew he needed time to think by himself, and that she hoped he was okay and but that everyone was worried he was dead. Alan was worried.

The next day she saw Alan at Kelley's with a relaxed little smile on his face. If Georgie were honest she felt as though she were walking on clouds the rest of the day.

Jason, Georgie thought as she pulled on a pair of short brown boots, oddly, had a way of doing that, making her happy. Four days after seeing Alan an envelope arrived for her in the mail, inside was a key with a number written on a tag attached to it. It was Jason's safe house/apartment number, but it wasn't a key to his place. She was left feeling slightly confused as to why he would want her to check his mail.

But curiosity drove her to actually do it. The first couple of days the box was empty, on the third there was a postcard from Jason from the Grand Canyon, and on the back he wrote her name, his address, and four facts about the Grand Canyon. The length, how long it took to form, the first European to discover it, and how it was named. That same day Georgie checked out a book from the library on the Grand Canyon.

Every day since Georgie checked her (Jason's) mailbox and everyday there was something new, another postcard, a souvenir, and once even a book. No matter how bad her day got Jason always brought a smile to her face, whether he knew it or not.

Pausing to make sure the mailbox key was in her purse she thought she could only hope that one day she might be able to do the same for him.

Dropping the last of his bags at the bottom of the stairs Jason ran a hand through his hair and took one last look at the penthouse, the place he had called home for so long. It felt as though he were closing a very long chapter in his life. Michael, Carly, Elizabeth, Courtney, and Sam, even Brenda, they were all here each in their own way and they each made the penthouse what it was to him today. But his time away had made him realize that it was time to move on.

In addition to the two duffel bags at his feet there were three boxes stacked in front of the closet by the door and his pool table was wrapped up in moving blankets, the rest he would leave behind. He would have to have Max help him with the boxes but he realized, regretfully, that it might be a while before he could have the pool table brought to his safe house.

He wanted to keep the location secret for the time being. He didn't need Sonny or Carly, or even worse Sam knowing where they could find him. Especially Carly, who could be relentless. He knew she would want to know what had had happened between him and Sam, but he knew well enough he couldn't confide in Carly, not about this. He cared about her but he also knew who she was and knew that she would use that information against Sam or Ric, or even Alexis. And while he couldn't care less about Ric he didn't want to hurt Alexis. Or Sam.

No, for right now he didn't want anyone else knowing.

Except Georgie.

The sound of a key in the lock drew his attention and he remained silent as the door opened and Sam stepped into the apartment. He watched as she took in the boxes with no small amount of confusion before she noticed him standing on the bottom step.

She smiled and stepped forward, hesitancy following her every move . "Jason, where have you been?" she asked.

"Away." He answered simply and shortly, no smile formed on his face.

"Where did you go? Sonny said he didn't send you anywhere but I know that you can't tell me everything but why didn't you say anything. Or call. I know Sonny said you called Alan, but why didn't you call me! I was worried, we all were," she rambled on, trying to break through the palpable tension in the room.

"I needed time to think," was his only reply.

"Think? Think about what?" Sam asked, and he watched as it slowly dawned on her. "You know don't you?"

"About you and Ric?" He answered, and then nodded his head.

"How?" The single word was barely audible.

"I saw you."

"Oh God," Sam moaned in despair. "Jason, it's not what you think?" She tried to defend herself. Closing the distance between them she grabbed his arm. "I was hurting," she continued. "I wasn't thinking, I had a couple of drinks, and you know Ric," she finished, trying desperately to shift the blame.

"I do," Jason answered, pulling his arm free and moving to the desk. "And I thought you did too."

Sam had no reply. She watched as he pulled some mail from the desk and move back to the bags on the floor, stuffing the papers in the bag he took another look around, before finally letting his hard gaze land on her. She couldn't help but flinch under his stare.

"You're leaving, you're moving out," she finally said. Jason simply nodded his head in reply. "But we can fix this," she tried to argue, but his raised eyebrow stopped her short.

"How do you think we can fix this?" The question was genuine and he waited for an answer, but Sam didn't have one. In that moment she knew what she had done was irreversible.

"Jason, please," she said softly, tears springing to her eyes.

"No, Sam. I've thought this through, it's almost all I've thought about for the past three weeks," he told her, emphasizing the three. "We're done. Please don't make this any harder than it has to be."

Jason bent down and picked up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder he made a mental note to call Max and have him meet him with the boxes. Making his way to the door he pulled it open and turned back to face Sam again. "The penthouse is yours, I'm not coming back."

Turning around he started to leave when Sam called out to him.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," she said, her voice thick with tears. "I'm so very sorry."

"I know, so am I."

Shutting the door behind him he made his way to the elevator and the start of a new life.

Slamming her locker door closed, Georgie fought the urge to either punch the cold, metal door or curl up on the floor and cry. More and more she felt like the latter of the two options was going to win. Instead, she took in a long, deep calming breath only to lift her purse and scream into the side. The soft leather muffled her scream so no one outside of the empty locker room heard her but it only made her feel marginally better. Suppressing the urge to scream again Georgie quickly stood up and gathered the rest of her things and threw her scrubs into the laundry bin. Exiting the room she made her way down the hallway and past the nurse's station where Epiphany was writing in a chart.

Without looking up the older woman said, in her typical annoyed and disapproving way, "Nurse Webber was looking for you."

Clenching her jaw, Georgie pushed the button on the elevator. "Tell her I've left for the day," Georgie replied, trying to keep her tone as cordial as possible.

"Do I look like a messenger to you?" Epiphany asked, raising her head and cocking her eyebrow at the young woman.

Apologizing Georgie shook her head and said, "no, you're right, I'm sorry. If she happens to ask again can you please let her know I've left for the day."

Assenting Epiphany turned back to her work and Georgie stepped into the elevator she'd been holding.

"Oh, Epiphany, can you also let her know she can go to hell," Georgie added once the elevator doors had closed. Sighing, Georgie leaned back against the wall and wished that she didn't have to go to Kelley's for her afternoon shift. She wanted nothing more than to go to the mailbox and find something new from Jason. Especially after her confrontation with Elizabeth.

The nurse had been avoiding her all day, until Georgie finally said something to her while she was at the nurse's desk. Elizabeth made a scathing remark about her sister and Lucky, Georgie was left speechless for a moment as she fought the urge to defend her sister's actions, instead she apologized and she told Elizabeth that if she needed someone to talk to about it, she would listen. Elizabeth had then asked what she would know about her situation, to which a very hurt Georgie retorted that she should ask Lulu.

Georgie stormed off with Elizabeth calling after her but, even though she could hear the regret in the other woman's voice, Georgie didn't stop. She was tempted though, for a brief second, to go back to the desk and call Elizabeth out, to point out that she almost slept with Jason. But she quickly realized two things. One, that she couldn't betray Jason like that, and two, 'almost' wasn't the same thing as 'did,' which wouldn't be fair to Elizabeth.

There was also a small part of her that wanted to hold onto her anger, to not let Elizabeth apologize. She had every right to be angry. Just like Elizabeth, she too had been married, she too had been cheated on, and the betrayal she suffered was just as real as Elizabeth's. And yet everyone, even her own family seemed to dismiss it. She was young and she'd made a mistake, that's all it was to them. Of course that didn't stop Maxie from reminding Lulu that she was "The Other Woman" every time she saw her.

Exiting the building Georgie tried to leave her argument with Elizabeth behind and focus on the rest of her day. Yet no matter how hard she tried nothing eased her irritation, which only seemed to increase with every stupid driver on the road and every cheap customer at Kelley's. But by closing time her anger and irritation had turned to sheer exhaustion. She just wanted to go to the mailbox and then go home and curl up with whatever Jason sent her and her laptop to discover more about where he had been.

With her back turned to the door she stood filling the salt containers when the bell rang behind her indicating that someone had come in. Sighing tiredly she called out, "we're closed."

"Sorry, but the door wasn't locked."

Her hand froze in midair and slowly she returned the salt container to the counter. Wiping her hands on her apron as she turned around a small tired smile formed on her face.

"You're back," she said, rounding the corner of the counter.

"I'm back," Jason replied, meeting her halfway across the room.

Silently she stood staring up at him, thoughtfully taking in the new lines around his eyes but also the fact that his eyes seemed to be bluer than before, brighter. Reaching out she placed a hand on his arm and said, "you look good. Lighter."

"Lighter?" Jason asked.

"Yeah, like you're not carrying such a heavy load anymore. Maybe more at peace would be a better way of putting it," she finished with a little shrug of her shoulder. Before he could say anything more she turned her attention to his hands, taking them into her own she gave them a cursory examination. "You're hands look like they've healed, too."

"I had a good doctor," Jason replied, a smirk forming at the corners of his lips.

Smiling in amusement Georgie led him back to the counter and urged him to take a seat while she poured him a cup of coffee. When she handed it to him she leaned forward, resting her arms on the counter and said, "so tell me about it."

"About what?" Jason asked.

"You're travels, where you went, what you saw, everything," Georgie elaborated, her brown eyes alight with curiosity.

"You got my postcards and everything else, right," he asked, a tinge of uncertainty in his voice.

She nodded enthusiastically, "every single one of them." Then she paused and realized that she hadn't checked the mailbox today and added, "except for whatever came today."

Jason shook his head and said, "no, there's nothing there I knew I was going to be back today. So I brought it myself."

Reaching into his jacket pocket Jason carefully pulled out a small envelope and handed it to Georgie. It was too small and too light to contain a postcard or even a letter, she looked up at Jason questioningly and he urged her to open it. Lifting the flap she turned the envelope upside-down and a small orange-yellow flower that had obviously been pressed fell into the palm of her hand. Georgie recognized it instantly as a flower her great-grandmother Mariah had growing on her ranch, it was a Copper Canyon Daisy. Handling the delicate flower carefully her thoughts drifted away from Jason and Port Charles to Texas and her childhood on the ranch.

She didn't know how much time had passed before she finally came back to the present to find Jason watching her curiously. She quickly realized that to Jason it was nothing more than a flower he picked and pressed for her at random and without prompting she started to tell him about the flower and where it grew on her great-grandmother's ranch.

Their conversation drifted naturally from that point on, with Jason filling in the details of his trip and Georgie adding her own stories when he mentioned a place that she'd visited as a child. Each shared myths and history they'd heard from the locals and read in books, but it was mostly Jason who amazed her with all of the obscure places he'd found while on the road, both on his most recent trips and ones he'd taken years before.

"Wow, I can't believe you've been to all of those places. I mean Mariah used to take us to a lot of places, but nothing like that. I'm almost jealous," she said then paused and amended her statement, "no I am jealous."

"I'm sure you'll see it too, one day," Jason said. "And more."

"I hope so," Georgie replied, hating the wistful tone in her voice. She knew it made her sound desperate to leave Port Charles and gave the impression that she hated it there, but she didn't. She just had a wanderlust that needed to be sated, something she blamed on her genes. Shaking her head she returned her focus to Jason and asked, "did it help?"

They both knew what she was referring to.

"Yes," Jason said, nodding his head as he lifted his mug. She watched as his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed the last of his cold coffee. He stared into the bottom of the mug for a long time before lifting his head again. "I saw Sam today, at the penthouse. I ended things with her. For good."

Georgie nodded her head sympathetically and twisting the string of her apron around her finger she said, "I'm sorry, I know that isn't easy."

"It wasn't but I had to do it. I still care about her, I always will just like I will always care for Robin, for Courtney, but I don't feel the same way I did about her, before…" he trailed off, letting Georgie fill in the blank. Before Sam slept with Ric. "I have to be honest though, I thought it would've been harder but it wasn't. Was it like that when you ended things with Dillon?"

Georgie thought long and hard about her answer. "Yes and no," she finally admitted. "It was hard because Dillon wasn't ready to accept it, he fought it every step of the way. But it was also easy," she told him, "because I didn't see Dillon in the same way anymore, he was different in my eyes. He wasn't the same person I fell in love with. I still cared about him, I still do and I probably always will, but not in the same way. Do you get what I'm saying?"

"Yes," Jason answered.

"That made the fact that it was over easier to accept," Georgie finished. "I didn't regret it either. It felt like I was doing the right thing, for both of us. Ending the cycle."

Jason nodded in understanding and a silence enveloped the room as each was lost to their own thoughts, it was only the ringing of church bells in the distance that made Jason realize just how late it had become.

"Thank you," he said, breaking the silence.

"For what?" Georgie asked absently as she finally untied her apron and hung it up.

"Everything, being someone I can talk to," Jason tried to clarify. "I can't always talk to Sonny or Carly, even though they're my friends, without the baggage that comes with our history. But you, you're different."

"Does this make us friends then?" Georgie asked, letting him know through her small smile that the thought pleased her.

"Yeah, I think it does," Jason admitted, returning her grin. Standing up he stretched and said, "I should be going. Do you need a ride?"

She shook her head and then asked him to wait a minute, retrieving her purse she dug out his mailbox key and handed it to him, but he indicated that she should keep it.

"I have a spare."

"Are you sure?" Georgie asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure," he replied and moved toward the door. Pushing the door open he turned back and caught her pocketing the key and patting it gently. Smiling he said, "goodnight Georgie."

"Goodnight Jason," she said and watched as he disappeared into the darkness. It wasn't until she was locking up behind her that she remembered his jacket hanging in her closet and made a mental note to return it as soon as possible.

Let me in the walls, you've built around
And we can light a match and burn them down
And let me hold your hand and dance 'round and 'round the flames
In front of us
Dust to dust
- The Civil Wars, Dust to Dust