How was I supposed to survive this long without trying to stop it from happening to her?
I knew how River - the woman I had fallen head-over-heels in love with - was going to die. I knew I could have stopped it from happening at the time, yet I had every chance to fix it. They say the past is in the past but when you're a timelord that isn't strictly true. Knowing that woman as I knew her now I would rip apart all of time and space to save her, I'd cause a paradox the size of the Medusa Kascade, that's how much I had come to love the woman I now knew.
"Sweetie, what is it? Are you okay really, I mean are you sure you don't want me to stay for a few more weeks. It's not like I'm going to be missed by anyone and I don't want to leave you if you're not ready." She still thought that I was upset about Amy and Rory, especially Amy, and of course I was but it wasn't just specifically their deaths but the fact that I have seen everybody I ever care about die and can do nothing to stop it. The Oncoming Storm, that's what some people call me but if they really knew who I was, I'd be nothing more than a summer wind.
"You know what River, no! I don't want you to leave, not now, not ever. I don't give a damn about one lunatic per tardis, I don't care about all that wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey spacey-wacey stuff that means you can't stay with me for the rest of time!" I was getting really riled up, this was the most emotion I had shown since the graveyard, hiding my emotions was what I did best so even though I'd been screaming on the inside, I was yet to show an ounce of pain or grief to anyone. River knew how I was feeling, of course she did, she'd known and loved me for years yet I was only just getting to know her at all.
"Sweetie, you know if I could, then I would stay here with you forever but our timelines would get too confusing, you would have to take me to every place you've ever seen me before now so that my timeline gets fulfilled..." She continued but I wasn't listening, she'd said every place, even the library! Her voice came back in to focus when she shouted my name: "Doctor! Listen to me now, don't you dare go all glassy-eyed and ignorant! You need to accept that this can never work, and it never will!"
"I DON'T CARE!" This was the most angry I had ever been at her, well in my timeline anyway, I felt guilty for shouting but she was a big girl, if anyone could handle my anger it was River. "Forget reason and logic for just a moment, if there was nothing holding you back, would you stay with me?" I could see that she was about to try and argue her case, I needed a real answer from her for once. "Just answer me that, yes or no."
"Yes! Of course, I don't know how you can even question how much I want to stay with you. Now hear me out, if you interrupt me then I'll have to smack you...again! Now shut up and listen to me. You, are my Doctor, nothing can change that not even time. If I could stay with you for the rest of eternity then I would but one of the best things about you, is your spontaneity. It's hard to admit, but one of the best parts of being in love with you is the waiting, never knowing when you're going to turn up and whisk me off to another planet! If I was with you all the time, I'd just be another companion, eventually you'd drop me off or I'd die or something else would separate us." A lone tear rolled down her cheek, this was not the first time I had seen her cry but for some reason it felt like a brand new experience. "I couldn't bear to be just another one on the list."
"WHAT! Are you joking River? You, are so much more than a companion, you're my wife for heavens sake! I love you and I can't bear to let you go, that's why I don't want you to leave! I don't want you to do the waiting, I want to be there to take you on a different adventure every single day!" Now I was crying, I can't remember the last time I cried, actually cried for a good reason.
"Don't be silly Sweetie...you don't even know me yet." She spoke quietly and tried to avoid making eye contact with me as she spoke, she thought I didn't love her yet!
"I don't care I don't know you, I don't care if I find out that you tried to end the universe. I'm unconditionally and irrevocably head-over-heels in love with you River Song, Melody Pond, Mrs. Doctor!" Ever since that day, at Stormcage when she'd kissed me so unexpectedly I'd slowly been falling for her, hopelessly so.
Her jaw dropped to the ground like a ton of bricks, her expression changed completely as had mine. Never in nearly a millennia had I declared my love so...forwardly! Truly astonished, she walked towards me and placed a hand on my face, like she was expecting me to disintegrate in front her eyes. She needed proof, that I wasn't still the young and naïve doctor she thought she was stuck with, so I did the only thing I could think I of.
My lips crashed against her in a rush of desire and heated passion, there wasn't a thing in the universe that would stop me from proving myself. I was about to break the kiss, see how she had reacted but as I began to pull away a little, she just pulled me tighter in to the embrace and our tongues began to dance, a dance of love. When her eyes looked in to my mine, they looked deeper than ever before - further than my hearts, further than my soul - she was looking right inside of me and beyond.
No questions had to be asked, no answers given, no reassurances made - this said it all, every last ounce of my being was being poured in to this woman and in return I drank her in like a wine - though perhaps something I liked a little more than wine - drowning in her scent and taste. Finally we broke apart, our lungs betrayed us, and we gasped for air but never losing eye contact, not even for a second.
"You're not going anywhere just now Professor Song..." A smirk grew across my face only to be interrupted by her swollen lips against mine again, she tasted of bliss, pure bliss.