The pain.
The pain of the biting cold against my skin.
The agony of numerous injuries that covered my body.
The worst though was the anguish of losing my companion. Lydia was not only my housecarl, but she was also my friend. We had been through enough that it was no longer just a simple thane/housecarl relationship. It was hard to even continue physically but even more so with the mental image of her death playing continuously within my head.
I told her not to do it, but she wanted to distract those Thalmor bastards so that "the Dragonborn could save Nirn".
I tried to stop her. I whispered from our hidden shelter "Don't do it Lydia, they haven't found us yet."
Lydia responded: "They will soon; they can't be allowed to kill you, Max."
She wasn't wrong. The Thalmor Justiciars were just a few meters away from us and rapidly closing in on our position. That didn't change my stance though, even if we couldn't both make it, I had to try at least.
She quickly stood with her sword and shield bared. I tried to reach for her, but she was too fast and my wounds had weakened me. Lydia was a sight to behold while fighting, a tall and muscular Nord woman covered from head to toe with steel plated armor and her battle cry was one which rivaled the roar of a Saber Cat. She didn't so much as attack an enemy much as she drove straight through them with sheer strength and force.
As soon as she reached the first Justiciar, her sword was buried into his chest and she was already searching for her next target. A bolt of lightning shot out from a Justiciar's hand striking Lydia's back as she shouted out in pain from the impact. She turned and rushed towards her challenger, shield outstretched and anticipating impact. The blow of the shield along with the rough soil and rocks of the cliff crushed the Thalmor's skull. The Thalmor were now forming a circle around Lydia in an attempt to extinguish her promptly.
Lydia picked up the sword of the now caved-skulled Thalmor and rushed toward another. Her sword swung in a graceful but violent arch toward their legs. The Thalmor soldier ended up on the ground howling a bloodcurdling scream, allowing Lydia to strike with a finishing blow into his chest.
I was gaining hope that we would make it with three Thalmor down in the span of under-thirty seconds but then it came.
The Justiciar unit's captain, Thiliniuth.
He had finally got a hit in with a powerful lightning blast. Lydia was thrown back with such a vicious force that she struggled to stand again.
Thiliniuth demanded "Where is Maximus Blackwell, the supposed Dragonborn and threat to the Thalmor? You pathetic Nord, I demand you answer me this instance!"
Lydia shouted "Leave!"
Those were her last words before Thiliniuth virtually disintegrated Lydia with an awe-inspiring shock of lightning as I struggled to move away from the Thalmor and follow her last wish.
That moment was stuck in my mind as I stumbled along through the cold wilderness, hoping to avoid the Justiciar search party.
I fell to the ground. The icy snow gnawed at the skin on my face. I knew I needed to move but the darkness seeping in the corner of my eyes was so appealing at the moment. My attempt to try and stand again ended up in complete failure as numbness flooded my being.
I wasn't going to make it, that much was certain to me. I was now spending my precious time wondering how it went so wrong. My mind drifted to where and when this entire journey started. When I was called here. My mind was wandering to that faithful day in Helgen at which my head was almost removed from my body.
It's surprisingly easy to relive the past while unconscious as I would find.