So this is an experimental Oneshot. Might be more.
I don't own Degrassi…but I do own the poem It Forces ME.
It forces me to hold it tight
It forces me this pain inside
It shines bright lights inside my head
It will not leave until I'm dead
"I've decided to forgive you for the other day," Clare said holding Eli's hand as she walked him to his locker, "As a show of good will I arranged a surprise for you."
Eli leaned in for a kiss. "I can't wait to see it."
"Surprise!" Clare said as she swung his locker open. Eli stared flabbergasted at his textbook and comics neatly arranged inside his locker. Clare even had made a special section for his gym gear. Hanging from the door were all his action figures, a hook for his jacket and his poster for the band Dead Hand.
"What do you think? You like?"
It forces me to go insane
This driving thing inside my brain
It forces me to come unglued
To do the evil things I do
It forces me to run away
"What have you done?" Eli screamed, "Where are all my papers and wrappers and stuff?"
"Eli! Your locker needed to be cleaned it was a fiasco."
He spun around angrily. "You don't know what I need. I think you proved that the other day. Where are my things?
Clare recoiled in shock. She reached for his hands only to have him pull them back. "What is this?" she asked.
"Where are my things?"
Clare pointed at a blue recycling bin nearby. "In there."
Clare stepped back just in time as Eli rushed to the bin and yanked the top off, scooping out the papers and the wrappers which were on top trying to find his things. As she watched him sink to his knees she couldn't help thinking that Bruce was right.
It forces me this burning need
Takes the me right out of me
I lost you once
Won't lose again
It forces me to keep it all
That morning Clare and the Friendship Club had come in early to clean Eli's locker. Clare had lugged in a giant Container Store bag full of the things she needed to organize his locker.
"Now what Clare?" Bruce asked.
She opened Eli's locker and stepped back. An avalanche of papers, books, containers, comics, food wrappers, action figures and clothing hit the ground.
"Jesus."
Clare turned to face her friends. "Now we clean."
They started picking up the refuse on the ground trying to organize it into piles. Clare unpacked folders, twine, and clear boxes from her bag. She pulled out a label maker.
"I don't think this is a good idea Clare, "Bruce said.
"Why not?"
"Eli looks like a hoarder to me. You might be doing more harm than good here."
Clare smiled at him. "You don't know Eli."
Bruce shook his head. "No, I don't think you know Eli."
It forces me to hurt you bad
To hold the things that I once had
It forces me to do you wrong
This death inside won't take too long
Brushing aside her hurt and rejection Clare rested her hand on Eli's shoulder. "I think you might have a problem."
"Leave me alone Clare! You just don't …uggh!" Eli was on his knees, his hands fisted around some papers, head bowed, body tense with anger.
"Eli I really think you need help."
"You don't get it. You just want to throw it all away. You just want to throw us all away. You want to throw her all away."
Clare raised a brow. "Her?"
Eli looked at Clare. "I said us too. You don't understand. You can't throw it all away. I can't lose this. I'll lose Julia all over again."
"And us?"
Eli picked up an old English assignment; Clare's handwriting was visible on the sheet. "You'll throw us away too."
Realization broke over Clare like a crisp cold wave. She knelt beside him and hugged him from behind. Resting her chin on his shoulder she turned and kissed his neck. He relaxed back into her embrace.
"You don't have to hold on to all of this Eli. You won't lose me. I won't let you go that easy. You're all I have right now. But Eli, you do need help."
He turned and leaned his forehead against hers. "Help me."
It forces me