Surrogate
Written by: Advantage
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CHAPTER ONE/PROVER PILOT:
The founding of a Dream
"Shinji, are you feeling okay?"
"Hn? Yeah, I'm fine…"
The empty test plug for unit 01 was the only one filled today, Rei was injured and Asuka…well…was busy. They were doing the best they could.
Misato was also missing, off on business this time. This left Shinji almost alone at home and with no guardian.
Ritsuko was doing the best she could to keep the boy's spirits up during the test- as this was also part of the ever-important Synchronization rate. One fatal emotion in the system could prove most disastrous.
Shinji was clearly depressed by so many things gone wrong. It was obvious both through his expressions and the graphs, as well as his reluctance to perform many of the Evangelion tasks. Maybe he needed a day off…
Ritsuko sighed once again, "This isn't working. Shinji come on out of there, you need a break."
"…Okay," Shinji replied.
Ritsuko shook her head. Never happy…
She didn't take into account that Shinji didn't have much place for happiness anymore…
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The door opened and shut as usual, and of course nobody was home.
Shinji crossed the room and dropped his backpack on the floor. He didn't feel like doing homework today, much less anything else.
He leaned back in the chair and then looked over at the only other occupant in the house…or rather…his home. The large green refrigerator sat in the corner where Pen-Pen usually resided undisturbed. Not even he wanted to come out again.
Shinji tilted his head away. When could things possibly go right again? Or would they ever go right again…
Just out of curiosity he reached into his backpack and fished around for a piece of paper, and put it out on the desk with an adjoining pencil. He stared at it for a moment, then he started to sketch with his mind. He didn't care what, just whatever came though his head.
He formed faces, mouths, noses and expressions. Hair here, the eyes there…do the shading…
Shinji wasn't much of an artist. He didn't draw often but it seemed he had some skills with his hands…
He sat back and looked at his work, admiring the smiling family that looked back at whomever decided to look upon their faces and happiness. If he squinted hard enough Shinji could almost envision that it was him between the happy mother and father, and they were his parents…
Shinji's eyes started to water and he snatched the paper in his hand and crumpled it up angrily. His fist paused in mid-air as thoughts ran through his mind, an expression of anger trapped on his face. The will to destroy this portrayal was overcome by his deepening sadness of a world he could never possibly have, and instead he lowered both arms to the table to form a barrier to the world and placed his face inside this fortress and start to cry.
Asuka arrived, quiet as usual, from the day to herself. She took one unconcerned look at Shinji to contemplate why he was this way, then ignored it and went to bed. Why should she possibly care about anyone else's feelings?
Shinji continued to cry. If the world ended around him he would be unaffected, his sadness was encompassing.
He did not cry for the most important things, but they didn't matter. His life wasn't at stake, he wasn't poor, and he didn't have a terminally ill disease. But even then, he didn't care. If he had any of those it wouldn't matter, because anyone suffering those disabilities had one thing that he lacked, and it was the most important thing of all;
Family.
His mother was gone, ripped away from him at a tender age when he needed her the most. His father was no father, and instead had become a cold and merciless figure. To Shinji, the only way he could associate that man with being his father in the fact that they carried the same genes. His uncle and aunt were weak, pathetic, and didn't even care to call.
He had nobody. He was even worse than a fatherless offspring, even worse than Pen-Pen- who didn't have any concept of family of his kind.
For all this Shinji wept, being unable to flee to anyone else. Nobody would accept him now….
He then considered doing other irrational things- like beating his head on the wall or hitting something- expressing his sorrow through violence. That was childish… but then, for a boy with no family to train him, is it still childish or not? Expression of emotions; are we all that blind as to mask them? Is it weakness to show a sign of displeasure? Or to lie and mask it under a falsehood to suffer even further in silence?
Shinji gave a low moan of pain, then stuttered into sobs. He wanted to escape this…go…somewhere. Find a real home. This was no place to call home, he had nowhere to be. No place for rest- only a quiet before more suffering. Where could he find peace and who could give it to him?
Cold fingers brushed on the back of his neck, and then another hand joined them once another chair had been dragged up beside the table. Misato had come.
Once upon a time, Shinji believed that all this woman wanted him for was to pilot and drive the only thing to deter the destruction of humankind. He thought she was only the technician for the part- but as time showed she was more than that. Perhaps she only hid this from herself, but just as Shinji had insecurities she had her own. Like Shinji she needed someone there- and Kaji had once filled that niche for her. Now he was gone- separate from her in his own world and existence. Not that she would welcome him back anyhow, she had repelled him too. Instead she welcomed a more humble company in the sad form of Pen-Pen, the failed experiment. At least then she could have some sort of company.
But also, strangely, she had taken in Shinji Ikari- the commander's unwanted son. Just as so, she had also adopted Asuka when she had no place else to stay. Only Rei remained outside, but then again Rei had always been alien in some way…
What was this now, compassion? Misato didn't usually show this amount of caring for another person. Only once and that was when she convinced Shinji to stay for the first time after his second battle.
That…or….
Misato never contemplated being absolutely responsible for another person. Sure, she had dreamed about having children of her own or having some deeper responsibility and connection to it- other than Eva- but she had never really sat down to think about it. Usually she tried to avoid these problems…
She didn't expect Shinji to be this broken up. When she got home she thought she would talk about her trip and everything, perhaps take him and Asuka out to dinner. Seeing Shinji there, hiding inside himself gave her pause…and so she acted and took him closer to her.
If anything his sobs increased, and his grip on the paper released to allow the crumbled sheet to rest inches away from his strained hand.
Misato didn't know where to start, so she acted as her mother did with Misato when she was young, and shushed him softly with her breath wheezing between her teeth.
His sobs ebbed and then faded into just a sighing breath. With his weight on the table Misato realized that Shinji had cried himself to sleep. Quietly and silently she helped the boy up and half carried him to his bed. At first she just let him lie on the bed, but after pausing at the door she looked back on the poor boy.
Could she, why not? It wasn't like anyone else was taking care of him, anyway. And besides, if she wanted…
Misato Katsuragi approached Shinji and took off his shoes before gently tucking him into bed. In that moment she envisioned that it wasn't the overcrowded apartment she was paying for. Instead she pictured this as some sort of house somewhere- and this wasn't one half of a room but a full-size room that was just meant for him.
And just as she stood at the door once more she dreamed that this wasn't Tokyo three, or even in the year 2015- at least in this existence. Instead she pictured this as a house much like the one she grew up in long ago, when things were going much better than they were now.
She smiled at this dream. As she gently closed the door her debate on weather she should make that fantasy into reality began.
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The first sign of Misato's determination came when she went out of her way to drop Shinji off at school.
No, before that. Breakfast, when she got up even before Shinji.
The latter of the mentioned two was just rubbing his eyes when he blinked and saw Misato attempting to cook.
Fear immediately ran through Shinji's blood like ice water, and he asked, "M-Misato…are you…"
"Just get ready for school," She said, "I'll have breakfast ready in a minute…oh…shoot…"
Shinji decided to wait a minute to see if anything blew up, but instead Misato scrapped the attempt at making flapjacks and instead turned to a method already well-practiced in America.
Shinji had to blink before he identified what Misato was doing. Sure, he had seen it before, but usually Misato started the day with Raman or curry and a beer. To see her pull out a box of breakfast cereal before his eyes was not only stunning, but revolutionary. Could this be a great change coming over Misato?
But there was another surprise in store for him. Some how, by divine intervention or by the actions of other forces, space had been made in the cans of beer for a lowly three gallons of milk that had somehow been picked up. Misato grabbed one, opened the top, and then reached for one of the bowls in the cabinet.
When she looked at Shinji she saw a face that could only be seen on a man who had been told life existed on mars- with proof. "What?" She asked at this.
He pointed one finger and asked, "You-you're making cereal….You never make cereal…."
Misato shrugged, "I decided to change," She said simply, "It's a little more expensive, but it'll stick."
Shinji watched in shock as Misato poured out the cereal first, and then the milk into the bowl.
When Asuka emerged from her room the shock wasn't as great as Shinji's. Probably because wherever she came from cereal was normal. But there was still the revolution that it was Misato pouring it.
"You're eating real breakfast?" Asked Asuka.
"Uh-huh."
Asuka let this sink in for a moment, then looked at Shinji's stunned face, snickered, and then went off to grab the shower first.
Shinji on the other hand turned his gaze downward to an equally confused Pen-Pen. The bird had been trained on curry and beer in the morning, and this change was also a great revolution to him. It meant he would need to change his routine hunting patterns and evolve once more…
Or pester Misato for the beer, which was easier.
Misato gave a yelp as the bird raked his claws on her leg and she called down, "No beer in the morning!"
"ACKSQUAK!"
"I said NO." Misato replied and then waved a finger at him, "It's bad for your health."
Shinji's astonishment wasn't as great as Pen-Pen's- who had the sudden urge to jump out the window. Sanity stayed his desperation and instead he went back to his refrigerator to try to wake up from this already terrible nightmare.
Shinji watched the door close on Pen-Pen's sanctuary and then looked at Misato with more suspicion, "Is something wrong with you today?"
"Huh? Why do you ask?" She replied over her shoulder as she was replacing the milk.
Shinji blinked, "You're not being normal."
Misato smirked, "So? Change is good, right?"
"Uh…"
Misato took a seat, stretched, and started eating her cereal.
While the munching of teeth was heard Shinji started to ask himself how this happened. He also recounted the things of last night, which made him a little more depressed than a minute ago. But then, he asked himself about Misato…and what happened between then and…
Wait, how did he get from the table to being snug in his bed? Not just snug, but tucked in…
"Hmmm…."
"Something the matter?" Asked Misato.
"Oh, just…thinking…" Replied Shinji as he blinked off his disbelief, "I'll….oh…Asuka's already in the shower…"
"You snooze you loose." Shrugged Misato and continued to eat.
Shinji looked over his shoulder at her when he was half-turned to the door and then started back into his room again to pack up.
He paused when he looked into his backpack and remembered last night. That drawing, what happened to it?
He had no time to ponder this, when he heard Asuka calling as she got out of the shower, "Okay Shinji! You'd better hurry, we only have a half-hour till school!"
"WHAT!?" Blasted Shinji and with one glance at the clock he realized he had slept in.
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Then came time to go to school, and as Shinji rushed to get his backpack on he noticed the door was already open, "Wha? Asuka left without me?"
"Yep." Replied Misato.
Shinji did a double-take when he realized what he saw.
Misato changed into a more casual day-wear, and was smiling at him with the keys in hand as she said, "How about I drop you off?"
"Drop-me-off….where? The base?"
"No, school." Replied Misato as she picked up her purse, "Or do you want to be late?"
Shinji stared at her once more as if she had stepped off a UFO.
"Are you Misato Katsuragi or someone who looks like her?"
"Quit fooling around already!" Misato said and took his hand, "Come on, we're going to be late!"
"We?-ACK!"
Misato had grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room. They had a short, brisk walk down to the parking lot where they got in Misato's car and drove out along the roads of the city.
"See? Isn't this nice? Like a normal family," Misato said.
Shinji looked at her again with his unusual face. He was contemplating adding two and two together when they rode past a familiar figure.
Shinji looked back over the seat at the figure they passed, saying, "There goes Asuka. I'll bet she's not going to be happy I'm getting a ride…"
"Well," Replied Misato as she tilted her head, "Serves her right for leaving you behind, eh?"
Shinji looked back at Misato with the same shock as before, but then they reached the school.
"All right," She said and smiled at him, "Have fun, okay?"
"Okay…."
And in the next moment Shinji was aware of he was watching Misato drive away.
It took him a moment of thinking to break his puzzled thoughts and asked aloud, "What was that all about?"
"Hey! Ikari's on time for once!" Chimed one of the girls.
"Huh? Oh, school…" Shinji realized and turned around to head for class.
When Misato got home she had some free time to herself, so she stretched and decided to shower first before heading to the base.
As she got dressed in her room, she glanced at the items on her desk before yawning and heading out of the room in her NERV uniform.
Three prominent items were on the desk. One of them was the PROJECT-E Third Child Supervision Record. The other two were more recent… The first was called (In English) PARENTING FOR DUMMIES, which still had the purchase label on the back and a bookmark placed in the pages.
The other one was an un-crumpled piece of paper, with an illustration from a young boy with talent, but no determination. It also showed what had become Misato's dream, from Shinji's wish.
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Asuka's rant for the day started off with a finger being pointed at Shinji and a declaration in a thundering voice, "Why the hell did Misato give you a ride and not me? Huh?"
Shinji shrugged in his seat, "I don't know. She's going crazy."
"Yeah, right." Asuka said and crossed her arms, then spun and complained wistfully, "Why, out of all the people, does she decide to be sympathetic to-to a shrimp!"
Shinji winced and decided not to listen anymore.
But Asuka wasn't willing to give up and grumbled, "Why does everyone here favor all the weirdoes… Even Shinji's treated like royalty, what about me?"
Shinji closed his fist tighter on the desk. Royalty? Her father didn't hate her as much as his father did with him.
"Ah well," She sighed and sat in her seat.
Shinji turned his attention back to his work.
Yeah…what was up with Misato, anyway? What was she thinking…?
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Disclaimer: Evangelion belongs to Gainax.