Hey, figured I'd get off my ass and put my FF.net account to good use.
Nowadays I can't help but feel sickened by people who like to stray from
the plot and come up with these odd pairings stories. And having been bored
out of of my mind, I've produced the Inuyasha Comedy Hour.
A/N: If you don't like the way I criticize the various stories submitted to FF.net and find my views offensive, well...tough shit.
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"Tonight on FF.net Presents, we have with us, the very funn INUYASHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Shouted the announcer as multiple shots of Inuyasha performing stand-up were displayed. The show had just only begun and the audience was already applauding the world's favorite half-demon.
"Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Inuyasha!" The announcer shouted as Inuyasha walked up on stage, the cheering and whistling of hundreds of fans could be heard from three blocks away. Inuyasha wasn't the nervous type, and began his routine almost instantly.
"Hi there! I'm Inuaysha, some of you may have heard of me. Maybe some of you haven't. I'm the main character of the show Inuyasha, and I've got a bone to pick with EVERY FUCKING PERSON WHO WRITES THESE ODD PAIRING STORIES! Yes, I adore my fans (the ones who don't piss me off) and I take time off to read their works of art; I have no fucking patience for stupid fucks who write ever stupider stories. I can't believe people actually read and even enjoy this garbage." Inuyasha was beginning to hook the crowd, and continued his act.
"Okay, first things first people. These Kagome and Sesshomaru stories, what the hell were these people smoking when they wrote that garbage?! Seriously, would YOU fall in love with someone who has tried to KILL YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS?!" Inuyasha shouted as the crowd began laughing hysterically.
"Hi Kagome, I hate you, I hate your friends, I think your existence is meaningless, and nothing would make me happier than bathing in a tub of your blood. Wanna have sex?" Inuyasha sarcastically said as members of the audience began crying from the laughter. Inuyasha was just getting warmed up.
"And that isn't the only one either. One word, Kouga. You'd think Kagome would have a fucking restraining order on him or something. Shit, I would have killed him a while back but apparently he's a very important character. Yea, REEEAL important. A character so important that he says he's in love with Kagome when in reality he just wants jewel shards. And wouldn't you know it, the morons here decide to write stuff featuring Kagome and Kouga hooking up! Who wants to bang a cowardly, skirt wearing stalker who has to rely on jewel shards to give him strength?! He's about as low as low goes." Inuyasha took a sip of the glass of water provided for him and the rest of the show's guests and let his audience breathe.
"Stick to the fucking story guys, Kagome falls in love with me! Not fluffy, not wimpy, not that pansy Homo, err Bobo, or is it Flojo? Whatever his name is. Feh" Inuyasha looked pleased with himself and began the second part of his routine...
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A/N: Okay, so I'm really just using this fic to rant about stuff that pisses me off. Big deal, hopefully it gave some of you a good laugh. I'll write more if I get feedback that doesn't include death threats.
A/N: If you don't like the way I criticize the various stories submitted to FF.net and find my views offensive, well...tough shit.
_____________________________________
"Tonight on FF.net Presents, we have with us, the very funn INUYASHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Shouted the announcer as multiple shots of Inuyasha performing stand-up were displayed. The show had just only begun and the audience was already applauding the world's favorite half-demon.
"Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Inuyasha!" The announcer shouted as Inuyasha walked up on stage, the cheering and whistling of hundreds of fans could be heard from three blocks away. Inuyasha wasn't the nervous type, and began his routine almost instantly.
"Hi there! I'm Inuaysha, some of you may have heard of me. Maybe some of you haven't. I'm the main character of the show Inuyasha, and I've got a bone to pick with EVERY FUCKING PERSON WHO WRITES THESE ODD PAIRING STORIES! Yes, I adore my fans (the ones who don't piss me off) and I take time off to read their works of art; I have no fucking patience for stupid fucks who write ever stupider stories. I can't believe people actually read and even enjoy this garbage." Inuyasha was beginning to hook the crowd, and continued his act.
"Okay, first things first people. These Kagome and Sesshomaru stories, what the hell were these people smoking when they wrote that garbage?! Seriously, would YOU fall in love with someone who has tried to KILL YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS?!" Inuyasha shouted as the crowd began laughing hysterically.
"Hi Kagome, I hate you, I hate your friends, I think your existence is meaningless, and nothing would make me happier than bathing in a tub of your blood. Wanna have sex?" Inuyasha sarcastically said as members of the audience began crying from the laughter. Inuyasha was just getting warmed up.
"And that isn't the only one either. One word, Kouga. You'd think Kagome would have a fucking restraining order on him or something. Shit, I would have killed him a while back but apparently he's a very important character. Yea, REEEAL important. A character so important that he says he's in love with Kagome when in reality he just wants jewel shards. And wouldn't you know it, the morons here decide to write stuff featuring Kagome and Kouga hooking up! Who wants to bang a cowardly, skirt wearing stalker who has to rely on jewel shards to give him strength?! He's about as low as low goes." Inuyasha took a sip of the glass of water provided for him and the rest of the show's guests and let his audience breathe.
"Stick to the fucking story guys, Kagome falls in love with me! Not fluffy, not wimpy, not that pansy Homo, err Bobo, or is it Flojo? Whatever his name is. Feh" Inuyasha looked pleased with himself and began the second part of his routine...
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A/N: Okay, so I'm really just using this fic to rant about stuff that pisses me off. Big deal, hopefully it gave some of you a good laugh. I'll write more if I get feedback that doesn't include death threats.