It was never her. Kina watched the retreating figures in the distance escape her line of sight, feeling that all too familiar stab of pain in her chest. Once again, she let her beloved escape her fingers like sand into the awaiting palms of another. He never saw her the way she saw him, and knowing this only increased the pain in her chest. She could picture him fanning his face with his trademark fan, captain's haori fluttering behind him. Urahara Kisuke. A name that sounded like music to her ears. The person who occupied almost all her thoughts, the person who brought her so much despair. Just thinking about him made her knees weak. He always treated her with kindness and respect when he talked about the amazing deed that Yoruichi did, completely oblivious and unaware of her nervous, shaking hands and trembling lip. By the time Kisuke noticed Kina's staggering reiatsu, she couldn't see her own hands in front of her. He would always check her temperature, and usher her to her room. Kisuke was no stranger to her "breakdowns." He always took them as the product of too much stress and paperwork.

"Don't worry," he would say.

"I'll be here when you wake up," he would tell you. Futile attempts to try to save you from your reverie. Once again, you were pulled into your own world. As he stood up, you barely heard his excuse for leaving. You took note of how uncomfortable he looked.

"I'm going for a stroll in the human world tonight." That was his excuse for that night.

"With who?" She always asked. She knew what he would say next. She always knew. But even so, she clung onto a sliver of hope. Maybe today, he won't say Yoruichi. Maybe today he'll be by himself. Maybe, he'll even invite her.

But of course she was always let down.

"Y-"

"Yoruichi," she finished for him. His face seemed to light up at the sound of her name.

"Yes! Yoruichi. She's quite the pleasant person to talk to, don't you think, Kina?" he asked with a smile.

Kina gave him a tense smile. "I've heard." She gritted her teeth in attempt to prevent her from saying the words that threatened to escape her throat every time she opened her mouth. But once again, her attempts failed.

"I've heard that Yoruichi is incredibly talented. And apparently has a great sense of humor too. 'Her eyes outshine even the brightest of stars,'" Kina spat, a bitter taste lingering on the tip of her tongue. Kisuke's grin seemed to grow broader at hearing her praise.

"What an excellent choice of words you have, Kina!" Kisuke commented.

Kina couldn't stop herself. "After all, they're yours. People tend to remember things that they've heard repeatedly and grown tired of," she choked out. It came out harsher than she expected. A slight weight came off her shoulders, and she felt proud for finally being able to tell the truth. But her victory was short-lived as she saw the hurt expression plastered on Kisuke's face. It was the first time she had ever used that tone with him.

"Wait, I-" Kina started.

"I should be going. Don't want to keep her waiting, do I?" Kisuke exclaimed with a strained smile. Kina felt his reiatsu tremble slightly as his voice cracked. Without another word, he slid the door open and exited the room. Kina buried her face into her sheets as soon as his footsteps faded. Tears welled under her eyelids as replays the scene in her mind.

She had let him slip through her fingers. Again.