Disclaimer: I no own, so you no sue.
Summary: Basically, Jack's thoughts as he tries to escape Norrington and his men and meets Will Turner. And, of course, as he's trying to free himself from those handcuffs.
A/N: I posted this before, when I'd only seen the movie twice. Now that I have the DVD (happy scream/squeal), I noticed that I have a lot of mistakes. And I left a bunch of stuff out. I left the original up if you want to read it. Hope you enjoy. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp are *so* hot! And did you know that a bunch of Disney people wanted to scrap his part when they saw the way Johnny Depp was portraying our beloved Captain Jack Sparrow? How utterly wrong is that? But, thankfully, he managed to convince them that it would work out well. I believe we are all in debt to the wonderful, talented and droolworthy Mr. Depp.
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A group of soldiers run by. Once they're gone, I come out from behind the statue, where I was hiding. I see another group of soldiers ahead. Luckily, they haven't seen me yet. I duck into the nearest door, which happens to be the local blacksmith's. Perfect. Maybe I can find something in here to get rid of these bloody manacles.
I swear, save a damsel in distress and you get arrested for it. What's this world coming to? It would have been much easier for me to just let her drown. And they seemed even more angry at me when I had to get rid of that corset so she could breath. Honestly, why do women wear the damned things if they can't breath in 'em? I don't think I'll ever understand that.
Well, at least she tried to help me. Didn't seem too happy when I used her as a hostage though. Ah, well. Like I told her, I saved her life, she saved mine. We're even. And that look on that idiot Commodore's face when she had to put her arms around me to fasten my belt! Classic, I tell ye.
The place looks empty. Good. Okay, there's a hammer. That could work. I set down my hat, pick up the hammer and am about to try to get rid of these damn cuffs, when I hear a noise. I turn around, ready to defend myself if I have to. There's some fat bloke sprawled in a chair in the corner. Cautiously, I come closer. He shows no signs of waking up any time soon. Well, judging from the smell, whew, and the bottle at his feet, I'd say this one's even drunker than I am. And that's saying something. I poke him and he stirs slightly and he snorts. Then he resumes snoring loudly. I start to turn away, but, on impulse, decide to test him. I turn around fast and yell, "Whoa!" very loudly. Nothing. Okay, so he's not a problem.
Trying to hit a chain between your own hands with a hammer is harder than I thought it would be. This isn't quite working. Oh, forget it. Tossing the hammer aside, I tug at the chain and look around for something else that might get these blasted things off me.
There's a donkey hooked up to some kind of gears. Hmm... There's a piece of metal heating in the fire. The end of it's red hot. That might work. Picking up the piece of hot metal, I go stand behind the donkey. Sorry about this, friend, I think. Oh, well. It'll get over it.
The donkey's head shoots up and it takes off the second I touch the hot metal to its rear, letting out a startled sound. Immediately, the gears go into motion as the donkey runs around in circles. I replace the metal piece in the fire before returning to the gears and fling the chain between the gears, hoping this works. It does. It takes a few seconds, but the gears tear the chain apart. I still have the cuffs, but at least I have full use of my hands again.
The door creaks as someone lifts the latch to enter. I quickly hide in the shadows.
The young man who enters goes quickly to the still running donkey and calms it. After that, he goes and checks on the fat guy in the corner, removing his jacket as he does. "Right where I left you," he comments with a bit of a smile, unbuttoning some of the buttons on his vest. Then he goes over to the anvil and stares at the hammer I left lying on it, frowning. He tosses the jacket aside. "Not where I left you," he mumbles. Then he sees my hat. He reaches for it. Oh, well. So much for him not noticing me. I reach out and slap his hand with the side of my sword. You never mess with a man's hat. I point my sword at him.
He looks up in surprise. "You're the one they're hunting." he says, backing up slowly. "The pirate." He says pirate as if the word tastes foul in his mouth.
I know him from somewhere. I'm sure of it. "You see somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?"
He gives me a disdainful look. "I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates," he spits out.
"Ah, well, then it would be a shame to put a black mark on your record," I tell him. "So, if you'll excuse me..." I give him a small nod and head for my hat. I'm not leaving without it. I hear a sound behind me and turn back to him. He's snatched up a sword and is pointing it at me. Great. He wants to be a hero. I have no desire to fight with this kid, but I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. And I'm not one to back down from a challenge. "Do you think this wise, boy?" I ask as I step forward and cross my sword against his. "Crossing blades with a pirate?"
He glares me right in the eye. "You threatened Miss Swann," he says simply.
I run my blade against his and smirk. "Only a little." I attack. He defends himself. We fight for a minute. He's good. Much better than I expected. Still, nothing I can't handle. "You know what you're doing. I'll give you that. Excellent form," I tell him. "But how's your footwork? If I step here..." He counters with the same step. Blades clash against each other for another moment. "Very good. Now, I step again." He steps as well. Very soon, he is no longer in the way of the exit. I advance one more time just for the hell of it. "Ta," I tell him and head for the door. As I'm about to lift the latch and leave, a sword flies right by me, inches from my head, and the tip buries itself in the wood. I take the handle in my hand and pull on it. It doesn't budge. I try a few more times. Then I try to lift the latch. I can't open the door. The sword is buried in the wood above the latch and has effectively locked me in.
I turn and face the boy, who looks a bit smug. I admit, I'm impressed, though hell will freeze over before I actually tell him that. I'm also annoyed. What is with this kid? "That is a wonderful trick," I tell him, the closest I'll ever come to admitting how impressed I am. I walk down the two wheeled wagon that serves as a ramp. "Except, once again, you're between me and my way out and now," I draw my sword again and give him a small smirk, "you have no weapon."
He grabs a sword that isn't finished yet and was heating in the fire. Like the piece of metal I used earlier, it's glowing red hot at the end. The donkey lets out a frightened sound and starts running around again.
Okay. It's official. This kid is insane.
I dart to the side, but he's quick. We fight again. Sparks of hot metal fly as our swords crash against each other. We around the pillar that holds up the gears I used to snap the chain. They're spinning once again. I manage to wrap the chain hanging from my left wrist around his sword and yank it away from him. He dives to the side and grabs another sword. It's only then that I notice just how many swords are leaning against it. As we fight, I take a good look at them. They're exquisite. Fine craftsmanship. There are more leaning against the walls. Beautiful they are. "Who makes all these?" I ask him.
"I do," he says. "And I practice with them three hours a day."
Well, that explains a few things. Like why a blacksmith is such a good swordsman. Still, three hours a day? Doesn't he have a life? "You need to find yourself a girl, mate."
Well, he doesn't look happy at that comment. He grabs another sword in his left hand and advances. I grab a hammer, or something, I'm not really sure what it is, and I don't really care either, that was hanging from the spinning gears in my left hand and throw it at him. It doesn't hit him. He dodges it just in time.
I block both of his swords with mine. "Or maybe the reason you practice three hours a day is that you've already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet." He looks even angrier. I know I'm pushing it, but I just can't resist. "You're not a eunuch, are you?" I glance down. Now, he looks thoroughly pissed off. I'm not sure if it's the lack of a girl theory or my asking if he's a eunuch.
"I practice three hours a day so that when I meet a pirate, I can kill it!" he growls.
"Ah." I leap back as he swiped at me, landing on the wagon. I back up quickly as he flies at me, following me onto the wagon. The sudden weight and movement causes the supports holding it in place to collapse. The wagon slides back and off of the higher platform it was leaning on. Now, we're both fighting to keep our balance as the damn thing teeters precariously. Even now, we don't stop our fighting for more than a moment to try to keep from falling over. I manage to wrap my chain around one of his swords. I'm about to pull that sword away from him, but he's too quick for me this time. He slides the blade of his other sword through the links and stabs the sword into the rafter above me, pulling the sword in his right hand free. I tug at it and quickly find that it's lodged just as firmly as the sword in the door. I swipe at him. He backs just out of reach. That annoying smug expression is back on his face. I look down and notice that one of the boards on the wagon is loose. I stomp down on it. The other end flies up and hits the kid in the face. He falls back off of the wagon.
I know he won't be down for very long. I swing my lower body up and brace my feet against the rafter. I pull at the sword hard. The wood starts to squeak and I feel a very brief moment of relief. Then I realize what will happen if the sword gives way now. What, in heaven's name, am I doing? Just then, the sword finally gives and, before I can do anything, I fall back onto the wagon and roll off into the dirt.
I shake my head slightly, trying to clear my senses. I leap to my feet and step back onto the wagon. The kid is nowhere to be seen. Where did he go? I look up. There he is. In the rafters. Now, how did he get up there? I smirk. If he's up there, then I can leave. Then he cuts a rope holding up a net full of barrels. My smile fades just a second before they hit the other end of the wagon and catapult me to the rafters myself.
I manage to grab hold of one of the rafters and pull myself up. I step onto another rafter. As I hop onto the next one, the one he's standing on, he hops onto the one I was just on. I hop back onto that one and he, once again, hops onto the one I just left. Actually, this is kind of fun. I hop back onto the other rafter and quickly find my balance. He actually stayed on this rafter this time.
We resume our fight. As we continue, we jump from rafter to rafter, always dangerously close to losing our balance. To my surprise, he actually manages to knock my sword out of my hand. I dive behind me, grabbing hold of one of the rafters to break my fall. I land on the edge of the kiln. He's already on the ground. I see a large bag or something next to me. It's full of dust. As he rushes at me, I pick up the end of the back and dump its contents all over him.
He obviously didn't see this coming in time. He turns his head, but he already has dust in his eyes. As he rubs at them, staggering a bit, I kick the sword from his hand. He picks up a pair of tongs and raises it above his head. By this time, he can open his eyes. When he does, he's staring down the barrel of my pistol.
"You cheated," he accuses.
What can I say? "Pirate," I remind him.
The soldiers are banging against the door now, trying to get in. The sword is keeping the door from opening for now, but it won't hold them for long.
"Move away."
To my utter amazement, and chargin, he doesn't move. "No," he says simply. He's between me and what is now my only exit, the back door.
Okay, now I'm a little worried. This kid has more nerve than I gave him credit for. Great for him. Very bad for me. "*Please,* move?"
"No! I cannot just step aside and let you escape."
Damn! I only have the one shot. I ready to fire, even though it's the last thing I want to do. "This shot is not meant for you," I tell him. No, this shot is meant only for Barbossa. When I find that lying, mutinous bastard, I'll let him have it.
He looks at me. He looks very confused.
That's the last thing I see before I feel a thumping pain on the back of my head and the floor rises up to meet me. This is what I get for saving a damsel in distress, I think to myself. Then everything goes dark.
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Well, what do you think? For those who read the original version, better than the original, worse than the original? Please, let me know. Oh, and for those who don't own the or haven't watched the DVD extras (The commentary by Johnny Depp and Gore Verbinski) the eunich joke was Johnny Depp's idea. There's something else to thank him for. :]
Summary: Basically, Jack's thoughts as he tries to escape Norrington and his men and meets Will Turner. And, of course, as he's trying to free himself from those handcuffs.
A/N: I posted this before, when I'd only seen the movie twice. Now that I have the DVD (happy scream/squeal), I noticed that I have a lot of mistakes. And I left a bunch of stuff out. I left the original up if you want to read it. Hope you enjoy. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp are *so* hot! And did you know that a bunch of Disney people wanted to scrap his part when they saw the way Johnny Depp was portraying our beloved Captain Jack Sparrow? How utterly wrong is that? But, thankfully, he managed to convince them that it would work out well. I believe we are all in debt to the wonderful, talented and droolworthy Mr. Depp.
______________________________________________________________________
A group of soldiers run by. Once they're gone, I come out from behind the statue, where I was hiding. I see another group of soldiers ahead. Luckily, they haven't seen me yet. I duck into the nearest door, which happens to be the local blacksmith's. Perfect. Maybe I can find something in here to get rid of these bloody manacles.
I swear, save a damsel in distress and you get arrested for it. What's this world coming to? It would have been much easier for me to just let her drown. And they seemed even more angry at me when I had to get rid of that corset so she could breath. Honestly, why do women wear the damned things if they can't breath in 'em? I don't think I'll ever understand that.
Well, at least she tried to help me. Didn't seem too happy when I used her as a hostage though. Ah, well. Like I told her, I saved her life, she saved mine. We're even. And that look on that idiot Commodore's face when she had to put her arms around me to fasten my belt! Classic, I tell ye.
The place looks empty. Good. Okay, there's a hammer. That could work. I set down my hat, pick up the hammer and am about to try to get rid of these damn cuffs, when I hear a noise. I turn around, ready to defend myself if I have to. There's some fat bloke sprawled in a chair in the corner. Cautiously, I come closer. He shows no signs of waking up any time soon. Well, judging from the smell, whew, and the bottle at his feet, I'd say this one's even drunker than I am. And that's saying something. I poke him and he stirs slightly and he snorts. Then he resumes snoring loudly. I start to turn away, but, on impulse, decide to test him. I turn around fast and yell, "Whoa!" very loudly. Nothing. Okay, so he's not a problem.
Trying to hit a chain between your own hands with a hammer is harder than I thought it would be. This isn't quite working. Oh, forget it. Tossing the hammer aside, I tug at the chain and look around for something else that might get these blasted things off me.
There's a donkey hooked up to some kind of gears. Hmm... There's a piece of metal heating in the fire. The end of it's red hot. That might work. Picking up the piece of hot metal, I go stand behind the donkey. Sorry about this, friend, I think. Oh, well. It'll get over it.
The donkey's head shoots up and it takes off the second I touch the hot metal to its rear, letting out a startled sound. Immediately, the gears go into motion as the donkey runs around in circles. I replace the metal piece in the fire before returning to the gears and fling the chain between the gears, hoping this works. It does. It takes a few seconds, but the gears tear the chain apart. I still have the cuffs, but at least I have full use of my hands again.
The door creaks as someone lifts the latch to enter. I quickly hide in the shadows.
The young man who enters goes quickly to the still running donkey and calms it. After that, he goes and checks on the fat guy in the corner, removing his jacket as he does. "Right where I left you," he comments with a bit of a smile, unbuttoning some of the buttons on his vest. Then he goes over to the anvil and stares at the hammer I left lying on it, frowning. He tosses the jacket aside. "Not where I left you," he mumbles. Then he sees my hat. He reaches for it. Oh, well. So much for him not noticing me. I reach out and slap his hand with the side of my sword. You never mess with a man's hat. I point my sword at him.
He looks up in surprise. "You're the one they're hunting." he says, backing up slowly. "The pirate." He says pirate as if the word tastes foul in his mouth.
I know him from somewhere. I'm sure of it. "You see somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?"
He gives me a disdainful look. "I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates," he spits out.
"Ah, well, then it would be a shame to put a black mark on your record," I tell him. "So, if you'll excuse me..." I give him a small nod and head for my hat. I'm not leaving without it. I hear a sound behind me and turn back to him. He's snatched up a sword and is pointing it at me. Great. He wants to be a hero. I have no desire to fight with this kid, but I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. And I'm not one to back down from a challenge. "Do you think this wise, boy?" I ask as I step forward and cross my sword against his. "Crossing blades with a pirate?"
He glares me right in the eye. "You threatened Miss Swann," he says simply.
I run my blade against his and smirk. "Only a little." I attack. He defends himself. We fight for a minute. He's good. Much better than I expected. Still, nothing I can't handle. "You know what you're doing. I'll give you that. Excellent form," I tell him. "But how's your footwork? If I step here..." He counters with the same step. Blades clash against each other for another moment. "Very good. Now, I step again." He steps as well. Very soon, he is no longer in the way of the exit. I advance one more time just for the hell of it. "Ta," I tell him and head for the door. As I'm about to lift the latch and leave, a sword flies right by me, inches from my head, and the tip buries itself in the wood. I take the handle in my hand and pull on it. It doesn't budge. I try a few more times. Then I try to lift the latch. I can't open the door. The sword is buried in the wood above the latch and has effectively locked me in.
I turn and face the boy, who looks a bit smug. I admit, I'm impressed, though hell will freeze over before I actually tell him that. I'm also annoyed. What is with this kid? "That is a wonderful trick," I tell him, the closest I'll ever come to admitting how impressed I am. I walk down the two wheeled wagon that serves as a ramp. "Except, once again, you're between me and my way out and now," I draw my sword again and give him a small smirk, "you have no weapon."
He grabs a sword that isn't finished yet and was heating in the fire. Like the piece of metal I used earlier, it's glowing red hot at the end. The donkey lets out a frightened sound and starts running around again.
Okay. It's official. This kid is insane.
I dart to the side, but he's quick. We fight again. Sparks of hot metal fly as our swords crash against each other. We around the pillar that holds up the gears I used to snap the chain. They're spinning once again. I manage to wrap the chain hanging from my left wrist around his sword and yank it away from him. He dives to the side and grabs another sword. It's only then that I notice just how many swords are leaning against it. As we fight, I take a good look at them. They're exquisite. Fine craftsmanship. There are more leaning against the walls. Beautiful they are. "Who makes all these?" I ask him.
"I do," he says. "And I practice with them three hours a day."
Well, that explains a few things. Like why a blacksmith is such a good swordsman. Still, three hours a day? Doesn't he have a life? "You need to find yourself a girl, mate."
Well, he doesn't look happy at that comment. He grabs another sword in his left hand and advances. I grab a hammer, or something, I'm not really sure what it is, and I don't really care either, that was hanging from the spinning gears in my left hand and throw it at him. It doesn't hit him. He dodges it just in time.
I block both of his swords with mine. "Or maybe the reason you practice three hours a day is that you've already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet." He looks even angrier. I know I'm pushing it, but I just can't resist. "You're not a eunuch, are you?" I glance down. Now, he looks thoroughly pissed off. I'm not sure if it's the lack of a girl theory or my asking if he's a eunuch.
"I practice three hours a day so that when I meet a pirate, I can kill it!" he growls.
"Ah." I leap back as he swiped at me, landing on the wagon. I back up quickly as he flies at me, following me onto the wagon. The sudden weight and movement causes the supports holding it in place to collapse. The wagon slides back and off of the higher platform it was leaning on. Now, we're both fighting to keep our balance as the damn thing teeters precariously. Even now, we don't stop our fighting for more than a moment to try to keep from falling over. I manage to wrap my chain around one of his swords. I'm about to pull that sword away from him, but he's too quick for me this time. He slides the blade of his other sword through the links and stabs the sword into the rafter above me, pulling the sword in his right hand free. I tug at it and quickly find that it's lodged just as firmly as the sword in the door. I swipe at him. He backs just out of reach. That annoying smug expression is back on his face. I look down and notice that one of the boards on the wagon is loose. I stomp down on it. The other end flies up and hits the kid in the face. He falls back off of the wagon.
I know he won't be down for very long. I swing my lower body up and brace my feet against the rafter. I pull at the sword hard. The wood starts to squeak and I feel a very brief moment of relief. Then I realize what will happen if the sword gives way now. What, in heaven's name, am I doing? Just then, the sword finally gives and, before I can do anything, I fall back onto the wagon and roll off into the dirt.
I shake my head slightly, trying to clear my senses. I leap to my feet and step back onto the wagon. The kid is nowhere to be seen. Where did he go? I look up. There he is. In the rafters. Now, how did he get up there? I smirk. If he's up there, then I can leave. Then he cuts a rope holding up a net full of barrels. My smile fades just a second before they hit the other end of the wagon and catapult me to the rafters myself.
I manage to grab hold of one of the rafters and pull myself up. I step onto another rafter. As I hop onto the next one, the one he's standing on, he hops onto the one I was just on. I hop back onto that one and he, once again, hops onto the one I just left. Actually, this is kind of fun. I hop back onto the other rafter and quickly find my balance. He actually stayed on this rafter this time.
We resume our fight. As we continue, we jump from rafter to rafter, always dangerously close to losing our balance. To my surprise, he actually manages to knock my sword out of my hand. I dive behind me, grabbing hold of one of the rafters to break my fall. I land on the edge of the kiln. He's already on the ground. I see a large bag or something next to me. It's full of dust. As he rushes at me, I pick up the end of the back and dump its contents all over him.
He obviously didn't see this coming in time. He turns his head, but he already has dust in his eyes. As he rubs at them, staggering a bit, I kick the sword from his hand. He picks up a pair of tongs and raises it above his head. By this time, he can open his eyes. When he does, he's staring down the barrel of my pistol.
"You cheated," he accuses.
What can I say? "Pirate," I remind him.
The soldiers are banging against the door now, trying to get in. The sword is keeping the door from opening for now, but it won't hold them for long.
"Move away."
To my utter amazement, and chargin, he doesn't move. "No," he says simply. He's between me and what is now my only exit, the back door.
Okay, now I'm a little worried. This kid has more nerve than I gave him credit for. Great for him. Very bad for me. "*Please,* move?"
"No! I cannot just step aside and let you escape."
Damn! I only have the one shot. I ready to fire, even though it's the last thing I want to do. "This shot is not meant for you," I tell him. No, this shot is meant only for Barbossa. When I find that lying, mutinous bastard, I'll let him have it.
He looks at me. He looks very confused.
That's the last thing I see before I feel a thumping pain on the back of my head and the floor rises up to meet me. This is what I get for saving a damsel in distress, I think to myself. Then everything goes dark.
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Well, what do you think? For those who read the original version, better than the original, worse than the original? Please, let me know. Oh, and for those who don't own the or haven't watched the DVD extras (The commentary by Johnny Depp and Gore Verbinski) the eunich joke was Johnny Depp's idea. There's something else to thank him for. :]