This is totally random, but I just had a thought: What if each of Mike's personas represented a person that he lost at a really young age? That would explain why they seem so one dimensional; they're only the vague, subcontious memories of people who had passed away a long time ago.

And of course, being the semi-sadist that I am, I figured that I'd write it out.

—-

Mike knew his family was pretty special. Everybody else he knew just had boring parents and siblings that all came from the same place, while he got to have cool Chester and siblings from all around the world!

"Chester, how old are you?" Mike asked excitedly as he buckled himself into the front seat of the rickety old car. He had already asked this question hundreds of times, but Chester always had fun answers. "Are you older than this car?"

"Am I older than this car? Pah! In my day, we didn't even have cars! We just had carriages and pulling those carriages we had-"

"Yeah, yeah, you rode on Dinos and walked six miles to school each day in the snow, we know already! Can't we just get moving? The sooner we finished this aquarium thing the sooner I can go see my girl, Mary Anne." Mike looked over to see Vito, leaning through the window with his elbows propped up. "Hey, why's pipsqueak in my seat?"

Despite the rude words, Mike found himself grinning at his younger older brother. He knew Vito didn't mean anything by it, he was just making Chester ticked off. Mike liked watching Chester get ticked off, he always moved his arms around funny and made lots of silly noises.

Sure enough, that's what he was doing right now. "Vito! What did I say about that Mary Anne girl? And why aren't you wearing a shirt? You'll catch your death of cold!"

"Relax old man, it's the summer! Besides, why would I want to hide these beauties?" Vito flexed and posed, showing off his lean muscles. It wasn't very impressive to most people- except for Mary Anne, but Chester always said she was more breasts than brains, whatever that meant- but to a seven year old, they were the coolest thing he had ever seen.

"Do that thing with your tattoo!" Mike pleaded. Vito pretended to consider it. "Hmmm… Let me sit in the front seat, and we have a deal."

"Deal!" Mike stuck his hand through the window, and Vito shook it. He then turned around so that Mike could see the black dragon resting right between his shoulder blades. Vito flexed, and the wings of the dragon moved, much to Mike's amazement and Chester's disapproval.

"Hmph. Kids today and there ridiculous tattoos. In my day, the only marks you got on your body were freckles and scars."

"But Vito already has scars." Mike pointed out, and instantly regretted it when Vito and Chester went stiff. It was one of those things they weren't supposed to talk about, like how Manitoba was so good in the wilderness or why Svetlana had a prosthetic leg, or even what an American, an Australian, and a Russian were doing living in Canada. Or why Chester was Chester to Mike, and not Dad.

Thankfully, a distraction came flying towards them in the form of his older older brother's boomerang, which landed in Vito's greased back hair.

Vito pulled the boomerang out of his hair angrily. "Oy! Can you explain why this landed in my hair?"

"Easily." Manitoba arrived, a cocky grin on his face as he plucked the boomerang out of Vito's fingers. "I was aiming for yer face, an' I missed."

It looked like this was going to escalate into one of their fullscale, won't-talk-to-each-other-for-a-week-unless-Chester -intervenes, arguments, if it wasn't for a loud but feminine voice yelling "I am ready for my big show now!"

Mike looked out the window, and grinned as he saw Svetlana, standing on one of the highest branches of the big oak tree. Without having been told, he opened the car door and sprinted to the trunk. It was a struggle, but he got it open and waved to Svetlana.

Svetlana waved back, and then, when he got out of the way, she leapt off the tree branch and, doing a few spins in the air, she landed safely on the car roof.

"Alright, alright, showboating time is over. Everyone, into the car. We've got to get to the aquarium by noon, or else all the tour groups will be gone. C'mon Mike, go sit in the back since you squandered your front seat privileges."

Mike climbed into the back, taking the middle seat between Svetlana and Manitoba. He didn't mind sitting there, since it meant he was sitting next to two of the coolest people in the world.

A few blocks away from their home, Mike turned to face Manitoba. "Why were you guys late to the car. I mean, Vito's always late-"

"I'd take offense to that, but it's true."

"-but why were you late?"

Manitoba chuckled, and mussed up his hair. "You gonna be a detective, eh Mikey?"

Svetlana smiled at him sweetly. "We were putting ze finishing details on zomezing for you."

Mike turned to face her. "Wow, really? What?"

"Well, we were going to give it to you at the aquarium, but since you asked… here." Manitoba tossed him a small box, and he caught it.

Mike opened the box. Inside it was a medal. "You're really giving me one of your medals, Svetlana?"

"It iz not just a medal. Turn it over." Mike flipped it over. On the other side there was a carving of his face.

He turned to Manitoba, who just nodded in response to a question he hasn't even asked yet. "Yeah, I did it. It's so that you'll always know that no matter what, you'll always be our number one little brother."

"Jeez, thanks guys. Now my presents going to suck compared to yours. Well, you might as well have it now." Vito tossed a clumsily wrapped package over his shoulder.

Mike caught it, and unwrapped it. "Woah, your fang necklace?"

"Yeah, I figured that the coolest things about me are that, my tan, and my tats, and since I can't take you to a tanning salon or a tattoo parlor, I'll just give you that. You are now twenty percent cooler, congrats."

Mike beamed as he put both the necklace and the medal on around his neck. "Now I'll have a piece of you guys by at any time."

"Now, that's just poppycock!" Everybody turned to face Chester. "You always have a piece of us with you, with or without any fancy neck jewelry!"

"Really?" Mike asked. "Where?"

"In your heart."

The ride was pretty silent after that. Mike mostly fiddled around with his gifts and stared out the window. It was then that he saw the man in black.

He was dressed head to toe in black leather, with a big, burly, black motorcycle to match. He didn't wear a helmet, so Mike could see the hair covering his right eye. He grinned manically at Mike, and Mike could see he had a missing tooth like his. In fact, he looked a lot like Mike, only older and meaner.

"Hey, look at that guy on the motorcycle!" Mike pointed out the window, but the rider was gone. Still, Mike couldn't shake the memory of him, and his crooked, evil smile.

A few minutes later, he was back, this time swerving right in front of the car. Chester tried to retake control of it, but it was too late. The last thing Mike remembered seeing was the telephone pole right before they hit it.

And after he woke up in the hospital bed, he remembered nothing at all.