Painting Memories by MandaPanda2
Spoilers: A teeny, tiny one for "The Portland Trip".Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, JWP, and NBC.
POV: Jed
Notes: I was inspired to write this after seeing Norah Jones perform live a few weeks ago. Song lyrics in italics.
It's getting worse.
It's getting harder to remember.
One on of my clearer moments, my granddaughter asked me what it felt like to...you know, have Alzheimer's. I told her it was like being a completely different person. To muddle through the day and finding it harder and harder to form coherent thoughts. To wake up in the morning and wonder why there is a strange woman sleeping next to me.
But then the fog lifts and I remember Abbey
She'll never admit it, but it's difficult to live with me now. Maybe it was always hard.
It's harder now.
I know it hurts her when I don't remember my daughters and grandchildren.
I know it hurts when I don't remember her.
It hurts me that I hurt her, even if I don't remember doing it.
When I was first diagnosed, Abbey and I stayed up all night. We poured over old photographs, letters, locks of the girls hair, campaign buttons...memories. Then later, I held her in my arms and promised her that no matter what, I would never forget her.
She needed to hear that.
So did I.
Eventually, I did begin to forget her.
One afternoon, I became frustrated when I couldn't remember how to put my socks on. Abbey was trying to wrestle the sock from my fingers when I started to weep. If I couldn't remember how to put socks on, how would I be able to remember the really important things?
Abbey took my face in her hands and said that she was now my memory. She would remember it all for me. And when I would get confused, she would be there to paint the picture of how we first met, our wedding, and the days our girls were born.
She would paint my memories for me.
She has been doing it more and more often as I get progressively worse.
I think though that she enjoys retelling me how the shy and quiet theology student met and fell in love with the irresistible medical student. She has such a flair for telling stories and making even the most boring incident seem like the most exciting things in the world.
It's one of the reasons that I fell in love with her.
And one of the many reasons why I can't bear to forget her.