Mirthless

by spookycc

Rated T to be safe, just for language. I am not a shipper, that's not where this is headed.

I know almost everyone was affected by THAT scene in "Smile". I was no exception. The result is my therapy, below...

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone. If I did, someone would have bit-slapped Eames after her "it's too late" comment. ;-P

Why'd you go and break what's already broken?
I try to take a breath but I'm already choking.
How long till this goes away?
I try to remember to forget you,
But I break down every time I do
from "How Long" by Hinder

Captain Danny Ross leaned his hip against his desk, puzzled. In a less serious situation, he might even have smiled.

His most brilliant - and labor-intensive - detective stood with him in his office, the door closed behind them. Robert Goren, this bear of a man, normally confident and maybe even cocky, shifted his weight from one leg to the other like a nervous schoolboy.

"What is it, detective?" Ross asked.

Goren looked uncharacteristically unsure of himself. "I, uh... I'd like to request a new partner, sir."

You could have knocked Ross over with a feather. If he'd ever suspected that one of his best team would ask for a new partner, he would have guessed it would be Eames, not Goren. In fact, he'd read the letter that Eames had written, about seven years before, requesting a new partner. He knew that she'd retracted it, shortly after it was written, deciding to stay with the unpredictable Goren.

"This is unexpected, to say the least, Detective," Ross pursued. "Do you care to tell me why you want a new partner?"

Goren's brown eyes radiated sadness, and he lowered his head, feeling he was revealing too much to the captain. Ross had treated him with at least a modicum of respect lately, but they certainly weren't close.

"I... uh... I think that Detective Eames will have a better chance to... at career advancement if she's partnered with someone else."

"Ah," the lights went on for Ross. "This is about Eames, not you."

"No... Yes... It's about both of us, sir." Goren was looking more uncomfortable by the minute, if that was possible.

"Do you need some time off? Do you want to think this over?"

Goren nodded, then tilted his head, just a bit. "I could use some time off, sir. But there's nothing... I don't need to think anything over."

Whatever the situation, Ross decided, Goren didn't think this was really his choice to make. He wondered again what had transpired between the partners.

"Alright, Detective. I'll draw up the forms. But I want you to wait a few days before you sign them. OK?"

Goren looked back down at the floor. "I'll wait... I just... whatever you think is best."

"If you need to talk..." Ross knew that Goren wouldn't feel comfortable talking to him about something that was clearly this personal, but he felt he had needed to put the offer out there, just in case.

"Yeah, if I need to..." Goren muttered.

"Finish your two weeks' family leave, whatever you need, Detective."

Goren nodded, and lumbered sadly out of Ross' office.

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Eames came into work the next morning, feeling like hell. She hadn't slept worth a damn. Her partner's expression after their arrest of Leslie LeZard kept weaving its way into her dreams. She felt guilty, and she knew they needed to talk.

She hadn't been a chance to speak to him yesterday. Goren hadn't even ridden back to 1PP with her, he'd caught a ride in one of the blue and whites...

Eames was not totally surprised that Goren wasn't already at his desk. And the cup of coffee he would frequently leave on her desk was conspicuously absent, as well.

Eames hung up her soft leather jacket, and sat down, going through one of the piles of paperwork she'd left on her desk the previous day. That wasn't like her, but she was so tired, all she'd thought about was getting home. She was more tired today...

Ross' voice jarred her back to reality. "Eames! Can you come in here, please?"

Eames sighed. What now? She made her way to Ross' office, and the captain closed the door quietly behind her, after she was inside.

"How did the booking of Leslie LeZard go last night? Any problems?" Ross asked.

"No, nothing." Eames wondered at Ross' question. It was just a run-of-the-mill arrest - what could have gone wrong?

"Sit down, Eames," Ross motioned to the chair that faced his desk, and sat on the corner of the desk.

"That's alright, sir, I'll stand." Eames was more than a little uncomfortable at not knowing where this was going.

Ross didn't keep her guessing long. "Did something happen between you and your partner yesterday?"

Eames' heartbeat sped up, just a bit. "Why? Is something wrong with him, sir?"

"Physically? No, he's fine."

Eames nodded, relieved and worried at the same time.

"Well? Yesterday?" Ross pushed gently.

"Our suspect got a little mouthy to Bobby, and about him, before we brought her in."

"And?" Ross knew Eames as someone who always stood up for her partner, so he wasn't sure what had happened to upset Goren.

Eames sighed. "And... I wasn't very tactful in handling Bobby's concern."

"Would you care to elaborate?"

"Did Bobby talk to you last night?" Eames answered with a question.

Ross nodded. "He did. But he didn't tell me the whole story. I'm sure you're aware that your partner and I don't exactly share a sparkling rapport."

Eames sighed. "Our suspect said she'd done some research on Bobby, and she intimated that Bobby will never make senior partner..."

"He doesn't really care about that, does he?" Ross inquired.

"No.. no, he doesn't." Eames took a deep breath and continued. "She also said that I'll never make Captain, because of Bobby... and that my career as a police officer is tainted by our partnership..."

"Ah, that fills in some of the blanks," Ross stated simply.

"What blanks?"

Ross hesitated, knowing that Eames wasn't ready for the information he was about to impart to her.

"Uh... Detective Goren met with me last night..." he began.

"And?" her heart-rate increased again.

"Eames, he asked for a new partner."

She sat down in the desk chair, hard. "He what?"

Ross didn't repeat himself. She'd heard him, she just didn't believe it. "From what I gathered, he feels that he's holding you back, that you can advance in the department if you're not partnered with him."

Eames looked down at the floor and then back up at Ross. She swiped angrily at one eye, and waves of guilt washed over her.

"It's my fault, Captain," she confessed. "Bobby needed to know that our partnership was more important to me than the captain's chair."

"And?" Ross pushed, a little.

"That's not what I told him," Eames sighed.

"Well... you'd make a fine captain, Eames, although I'm not planning to step down anytime soon."

"I don't think I want to be Captain," Eames scratched the side of her nose with her hand. It was a gesture Ross had seen before, and understood. "I've never felt more full and complete as a detective - as a cop - than I do working with Bobby."

Ross stood beside her chair. "He hasn't signed the papers yet, Eames. Talk to him."

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When Eames went back to her desk, there was a small wrapped box on it, with an envelope taped to the top.

She looked toward the elevator, knowing in her heart that the box was probably from Goren. But he wasn't in the squad room. And her looks toward the other detectives only drew confused expressions from them.

Eames grabbed the little box, and her coat, and took them down to the garage, to their SUV. Once inside, she laid her coat aside, and held the box gently in her hand. She pulled the envelope off the box and opened it. Inside was a note, written on plain paper, neatly folded.

Eames

I should have realized that since you come from a family of cops, advancement would be important to you. I'm sorry I've proven to be a stumbling block in your achieving that goal.

I had no idea that you felt tainted by our partnership, and I feel selfish not to have noticed your feelings. For my part, I am only grateful for the years we served together. They were the most rewarding in my career - and in my life.

How many times have I pushed you away? I feel badly about that, too, but at least this time, it's for your own good.

Bobby

Tears slipped easily from Eames eyes. She wiped them away, and then opened the box.

Inside, there was a Santa mug. Just like the one that used to grace her desk.

fini?