PAINTED AIR
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: Yes, I know it's weird. "Roswell" and "Gilmore Girls"? What is she
thinking, but I wanted to try it.
Roswell, New Mexico, always represented my parents' life in my eyes. I never wanted a small town life. I wanted a big life in a big city. I wanted to be surrounded by big people doing big things. I never thought of anything in Roswell as being big. I never thought of anything in Roswell going anywhere. After all, half my graduating class ended up graduating a year after me.if at all.
But then again, even my graduating was only technical. I left before they had even started handing out diplomas. I left with my best friends for a world I did not think I would even live to see.
**
Getting out of Stars Hollow, Connecticut, was the smartest thing I ever did. I escaped a world where I was nothing more than the town hoodlum and entered a world where I was the anti-surfer. And from there I returned to the city that never sleeps. I went back to the place where I was one of hundreds of hoodlums, where only a very small percentage of people surf. And New York was glad to see me.
**
When Max died I did not think I could live again. He had saved me, but I could not save him, and that killed me. The fact that Max was the last of my friends remaining was the worst part.
Isabelle had gone first. Losing Jesse tore her up. When she was shot outside of Oregon she did not have the mental strength to pull through until Max could heal her. She's with Alex now, and I guess she deserves it. She's given up a lot for my safety, along with the safety of the rest of our friends. Alex is probably the only person who can help her at this point.
I do not know whether Kyle is alive or dead. He had driving duty one night while the rest of us slept. He parked the car in a wooded area, got out, and walked away. When Max woke up at least three hours had passed, and though we searched, we could not find him. It was pretty clear that Kyle was in love with Isabelle, and had been for a long time, and I think it really tore him up when she died.
Maria and Michael were killed together. Newlyweds, they had finally settled down when the government caught up with us again. Max and I escaped; unfortunately, Maria and Michael did not.
And then Max died. He was not killed by a government agent, and he did not die a gruesome death. He died in a freak accident. The van slipped on ice. We were both thrown from the car. I landed in a snow bank, while Max hit his head on an ice formation. He bled to death. I could not save him that time.
Now I'm alone. Alone in New York City, that is, if it's possible to ever be alone in a city this big. I have my life savings. I have Max's life savings. I have Maria's and Michael's and Kyle's and Isabelle's life savings. Together it is a great deal of money, but I wish I did not have it. I wish they still had it.
The classifieds gave me a list of apartments. A roommate would be nice, but I do not know if I could trust someone enough to live with them. Only one of these apartments seems like it would even compare to something I could handle. The ad is simple: 23 Year Old Male seeks roommate. Male or Female. 2 bedroom apartment with living space, kitchen, and bathroom. Clean. Nice neighborhood. Call 555-1278. Jess. I could handle something like that.
**
I placed an ad for a roommate. I do not even know why. I can afford an apartment. I can afford the water, the electricity; I even have the good cable, with HBO and Shotime and all those other movie channels. I just get lonely. There are nights when I miss Stars Hollow, and the very idea of missing a place I hated so much scares me. I did like being surrounded by people. Loving people, and they did accept me.eventually. So having someone around, someone who is there, whether they are a friend or just an acquaintance, that would be nice.
**
I called the guy with the apartment, Jess. He said that I could come by and check it out this afternoon. He was really nice over the phone. Asking questions, but nothing prying. All he wanted to know was whether I had ever been arrested (yes, and I did explain the circumstances.sort of), whether I had a boyfriend who would visit (no), and asking the usual name, age, and occupation questions (Elizabeth Zan, 24, widowed housewife). I hope this works out. I do not want to live in a hotel room for the rest of my life.
**
Well, I have a roommate. Her name is Elizabeth, and she's 24. She seems nice enough. Apparently I will not be the only person living in my apartment who does not have a college degree. She said she was widowed. That she had lost her husband in a car accident. I wonder whether it is tearing her up inside, she doesn't let it show. I did notice, though, that she still wears her wedding ring.
She's moving in tomorrow. Apparently she has been living in a room at one of the Holiday Inns for the past two weeks.
**
Moving day. The very idea that I'm moving in with a complete stranger would frighten Max out of his mind, but there's something about Jess that I trust completely. I don't really know what it is. Just something.
I wonder if I'll ever have to tell Jess about my past. I wonder if I'd be able to if I had to.
Roswell, New Mexico, always represented my parents' life in my eyes. I never wanted a small town life. I wanted a big life in a big city. I wanted to be surrounded by big people doing big things. I never thought of anything in Roswell as being big. I never thought of anything in Roswell going anywhere. After all, half my graduating class ended up graduating a year after me.if at all.
But then again, even my graduating was only technical. I left before they had even started handing out diplomas. I left with my best friends for a world I did not think I would even live to see.
**
Getting out of Stars Hollow, Connecticut, was the smartest thing I ever did. I escaped a world where I was nothing more than the town hoodlum and entered a world where I was the anti-surfer. And from there I returned to the city that never sleeps. I went back to the place where I was one of hundreds of hoodlums, where only a very small percentage of people surf. And New York was glad to see me.
**
When Max died I did not think I could live again. He had saved me, but I could not save him, and that killed me. The fact that Max was the last of my friends remaining was the worst part.
Isabelle had gone first. Losing Jesse tore her up. When she was shot outside of Oregon she did not have the mental strength to pull through until Max could heal her. She's with Alex now, and I guess she deserves it. She's given up a lot for my safety, along with the safety of the rest of our friends. Alex is probably the only person who can help her at this point.
I do not know whether Kyle is alive or dead. He had driving duty one night while the rest of us slept. He parked the car in a wooded area, got out, and walked away. When Max woke up at least three hours had passed, and though we searched, we could not find him. It was pretty clear that Kyle was in love with Isabelle, and had been for a long time, and I think it really tore him up when she died.
Maria and Michael were killed together. Newlyweds, they had finally settled down when the government caught up with us again. Max and I escaped; unfortunately, Maria and Michael did not.
And then Max died. He was not killed by a government agent, and he did not die a gruesome death. He died in a freak accident. The van slipped on ice. We were both thrown from the car. I landed in a snow bank, while Max hit his head on an ice formation. He bled to death. I could not save him that time.
Now I'm alone. Alone in New York City, that is, if it's possible to ever be alone in a city this big. I have my life savings. I have Max's life savings. I have Maria's and Michael's and Kyle's and Isabelle's life savings. Together it is a great deal of money, but I wish I did not have it. I wish they still had it.
The classifieds gave me a list of apartments. A roommate would be nice, but I do not know if I could trust someone enough to live with them. Only one of these apartments seems like it would even compare to something I could handle. The ad is simple: 23 Year Old Male seeks roommate. Male or Female. 2 bedroom apartment with living space, kitchen, and bathroom. Clean. Nice neighborhood. Call 555-1278. Jess. I could handle something like that.
**
I placed an ad for a roommate. I do not even know why. I can afford an apartment. I can afford the water, the electricity; I even have the good cable, with HBO and Shotime and all those other movie channels. I just get lonely. There are nights when I miss Stars Hollow, and the very idea of missing a place I hated so much scares me. I did like being surrounded by people. Loving people, and they did accept me.eventually. So having someone around, someone who is there, whether they are a friend or just an acquaintance, that would be nice.
**
I called the guy with the apartment, Jess. He said that I could come by and check it out this afternoon. He was really nice over the phone. Asking questions, but nothing prying. All he wanted to know was whether I had ever been arrested (yes, and I did explain the circumstances.sort of), whether I had a boyfriend who would visit (no), and asking the usual name, age, and occupation questions (Elizabeth Zan, 24, widowed housewife). I hope this works out. I do not want to live in a hotel room for the rest of my life.
**
Well, I have a roommate. Her name is Elizabeth, and she's 24. She seems nice enough. Apparently I will not be the only person living in my apartment who does not have a college degree. She said she was widowed. That she had lost her husband in a car accident. I wonder whether it is tearing her up inside, she doesn't let it show. I did notice, though, that she still wears her wedding ring.
She's moving in tomorrow. Apparently she has been living in a room at one of the Holiday Inns for the past two weeks.
**
Moving day. The very idea that I'm moving in with a complete stranger would frighten Max out of his mind, but there's something about Jess that I trust completely. I don't really know what it is. Just something.
I wonder if I'll ever have to tell Jess about my past. I wonder if I'd be able to if I had to.