Disclaimer: I own nothing but my imagination and Freddie. Everything belongs to the creators of X-Men. I don't even own penguins and Obama. But it would be really cool if I did…
Author's note: If you have courage to review it would be great, I'd love to know your advices to evolve in English 'cuz I'm French but if you don't I don't mind; I write for pleasure not for fame.
I'm a compulsive liar. I can't help it; things have been this way since I was a child. No, in fact, it began even before I was born. See, I was supposed to be a boy, and I am so happy I cannot remember the delivery, mum told me I didn't actually cried because of my first breath but because I've seen my father's face when the nurse told him I was a girl. Not that he's a misogynic or something, not at all. You just have to know that I'm the last one of eight children, all girls. Yes, ALL GIRLS. Now imagine how the atmosphere at home is and triple it. After that you'll have a vague idea of the ambiance I grew up in. You understand why I'm such deranged.
Anyways, I was telling you about the lying thing. Some lie because they want to obtain something, to avoid troubles and fights, because they have fun while doing it or that they are ashamed of the truth. I lie because I'm use to it. It seems natural to me, not that I want to build a wall between me and the rest of the world – I'm a relatively sociable person – but I don't know, it's always been like that. I don't see why I should tell the truth anyway. It usually offends people, or makes them unhappy. Those who say that you could not reach happiness while lying are just pathetic dumbbells. But who knows, I may be lying.
My family and friends got used to it, they never take advices from me, let-alone ask for my opinions. My sister Leya says I should do politics. And her twin Nina says if I do, she'll commit suicide.
Other than being a mythomaniac, I'm a very lazy person. If you need an example, look at my room. Unless if you have a heart condition. There are clothes on the bed, books on the floor, empty and/or broken glasses on the desk and, most of all, papers everywhere. White, colored, squared, full of my writing or at the opposite, totally blank. They are so many I think they reproduce while I'm sleeping.
I usually make fun in a little bit cynical way of everything and everyone, but I never hurt them. June, my oldest sister, used to say when she was still living with us, that one day I will break one of my ribs laughing constantly.
Dad also says when he was younger he had a donkey, and he was less stubborn than me. And every time he says that, mum replies it's too hard to imagine that he has once been young. Sometimes, I just love my mum.
Let's talk about the heart of the matter. I'm a complete mess in math. I don't know why, I never understood anything to numbers. You can chose to not believe me but I guess grades can't lie. So, Lily's (sister number six) friend, John, offered to give me lessons once a week. Damn it! I didn't take the literary section to practice science! That's why he's coming today to help me. Hey, I'm a mythomaniac, remember?
I heard a knock on my door and told the person to enter. It was him and he was smiling. Like there was something funny in doing math. What kind of person could smile at a moment like that, I ask you. Fools. Psychos. Sadists. Yeah, this kind.
He was still waiting in front of the door and it began to annoy me.
"Maybe you want us to practice the exercises standing? I ask with sarcasm.
- There is a frog in front of my shoes, he replies.
- And so? It's not going to eat you, you know, I tell him.
- There is a frog in front of my shoes, he repeats.
- What's wrong with you man, your parents used to rock you too close to the wall when you were a baby or what? It's just a frog, come on, I want to finish my work as fast as I can, I conclude".
But he didn't move. So I stand up with a sigh and pick up the frog from the floor.
"This is Freddie, it's my frog. It's vaccinated, it doesn't bite, it doesn't claw and it doesn't make a sound. So what's the matter? I ask.
- I hate frogs, he simply says."
I look at him for a few seconds then I go put Freddie on the balcony, mumbling words like freak, cutest thing and deranged. As I don't want you to have a bad idea of me I changed the words a little, but it's the general contest. When I go back to my seat I see he already started to put the books on the desk. Actually he put them on his knees because there's no place on the desk but it's practically the same. And what books! They seem to be dictionaries. If he thinks I'm going to study in those torture's instruments he could always dream.
"I think we better start, he suggests.
- Okay, I agree."
Wait a minute. I didn't want to do it like, two seconds ago! Well, I guess it's the reversal for lying.
"You know what you are studying? He questions.
- Sure I know, I lie, I'm not that stupid.
- Okay so, what's the name of the chapter? He asks.
- …
- Statistics, Kitty, statistics, he answers himself.
- Well, I knew that, I lied again. You just didn't give me time to reply.
- Look, my father is a professional poker player, he confesses to me, so don't try to bluff with me you have no chance to make it.
- Did anyone ever told you that you were boring? I criticize him.
- Did anyone ever told you that you were childish? He replied with a grin.
- It's really impolite to not give an answer when you were asked a question, I made the remark.
- I'm not here to exchange pleasantries, he maintains; I'm here to teach you math. You'll see; it will give you a lot of answers in life."
Until now, everything math ever gave me was headaches. Then he starts to talk about some obscure rules I've never heard about, something concerning the average I guess. After quarter an hour of him speaking to the wall he says:
"… So if you want to add those statistics to those which are playing basketball against the team of the yellow penguins you'll have to ask Obama first. Do you understand?
- Yeah, yeah, continue, I vaguely say.
- Kitty, you're not listening to me, he affirms with disappointment.
- Yes I am, it's interesting, I declare with a confident smile.
- You're lying, he maintains.
- Sure I am, I tell him with a bright smile. What were you expecting?
- A little bit of attention at least! He almost shouts. I'm here to help you pass your exams and it's not really funny for me.
- Yes it is, I contradict him. You love to do that, numbers, statistics, diagrams… it's almost scaring. It should be punished by the law to love math that much. Dead numbers passionate you… how could I even try to understand what you say anyway, we live on different planets. I'm attracted by literature, which is always alive; how could I have even a distant interest in science? Did you ever thought about it?
- Stop making excuses, he answers. If you try harder – and it will not be really difficult – you'll make it."
That's the problem while being a liar. No one believes you when you tell the truth.
We kept on studying during two more hours. I have to tell that with will, it is not that complicated to understand the basis. I sure prefer to eat my arm than admitting it to someone but still, in a way math is cool. In an obscure, blurred and mysterious way, of course.
"See, I told you you'd make it, he finally says while getting his books together. By the way Kitty, you should really clear that mess, it's not a room anymore, it's Baghdad.
- One more word about my room and I swear I release Freddie on you now, I threaten him.
- Hey calm down, I was just kidding! He rectifies quickly. So, see you next week.
- I guess so, I reply. Unless if I die, or if I escape from that house of fools, or if I go to jail for killing one of my teachers. So, if one of those things happens, see you in hell!
- Jubilee didn't lie, you're really a freak, he confesses, amused.
- Jubilee never lies, she's too weak for it, I tell him. And I'm not a freak; I'm not the one who gets crazy when he sees a frog.
- Oh, zip it girl!"
He didn't finish his sentence the door of my room opened and an Asian girl get in.
"John! It's been a while! She hysterically screams. Kitty, I need to borrow your green shirt with the smiley, where is it?
- Happy to see you too Jubes! I imitate her voice. Yes, I'm fine and I had a really nice day. We were just talking about you.
- In good terms I hope!
- Always, I reply exchanging a meaning gaze with John. You're my best friend.
- I'm your only friend you mean, she laughs.
- You little… I begin to say.
- I have to go girls, interrupts me John. Always a pleasure to see you Jubes.
- And then, you call me a liar? I ask innocently."
Jubilee gives me an icy gaze and John walks out after addressing me a little smile. I continue to look at the shut door after he left and Jubilee tells me in an ironic ton:
"Careful darling, you are drooling on the carpet.
- Go back to China Jubilee, no one likes you, I tell her.
- For your record, I'm born in Chicago! She affirms. Are you going to ask him out?
- I don't know yet, maybe later, I confess.
- Are you at least, she continues, going to tell him that since you're in the literary section, you don't take math anymore?
- I think I'll wait a few more weeks before I do, I reply with a grin."