Title: Lopsided Halos

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts

Summary: A second life means a second death. But due to circumstances, the ghosts that were once Organization XIII aren't allowed in their Afterlife yet. Because they were Nobodies, they must first earn the right. How? By becoming Guardian Angels, of course!

Genre: Humor

Rating: Should be safe for everyone...

Disclaimer: I only own the plot idea. Nothing else. Sadly for me.

A/N: I would greatly appreciate it if any spelling or grammatical errors, OOCness, or other mistakes are pointed out. If you need anything explained, feel free to ask.

***#Chapter One: Death#***

They say all stories start with beginning. This is true.

They also say that all stories start with a birth. This is only mostly true. Why? Because to get to the beginning of this story, you have to go through birth, life, and all sorts of annoying things.

But the start of this story really is not birth. It's death. 13 deaths, to be precise.

***#I#***

Pain. That was all that registered. One moment, I was perfectly fine, the next my chest was consumed with fire.

I dimly heard someone saying something about CPR and 911, and then...

Nothing.

***#II#***

I heard the shouted warning, but didn't have time to react.

The closest sensation to this I can think of at this moment is being kicked by a mule. Only much, much worse.

I think I'm in shock. I look down and see my chest covered in blood, and I feel detached. Like it's not my blood I'm seeing.

And then I don't see anything at all.

***#III#***

I claw at the chain that's wrapped around my neck. This isn't good. But I need to remain calm... it's not like I have any air left for a panic attack.

Who knew slipping could have such consequences?

***#IV#***

Let it be official: I HATE field research. If it didn't exist, I wouldn't out here, slowly freezing to death. I'm pretty sure I'm hypothermic by now. I can't feel most of my limbs. I'm frostbitten in places I didn't know existed.

Bah. I don't have any energy to try and stay awake anymore. All I want to do is sleep...

They all say 'Don't fall asleep. Keep moving.'

But I don't listen. I don't have anything left to keep going on. So I let myself fall into the snow, let my eyes drift shut.

Even though I know they won't open again.

***#V#***

I heard the rumble. I looked up and saw a cascading wall of rocks. There wasn't anywhere to hide. Wasn't any time to run.

When the avalanche hit, there wasn't even time for much of a sensation of pain.

***#VI#***

I knew I was going to die. The cancer was too far along for them to do anything about it. So it was just a waiting game at this point. That's all I could do. Wait to die. From a stupid bunch of cells in my brain that missed some important strand of DNA and mutated. I'm going to die from a brain tumor and no one can do anything. Least of all me.

But I hate not being in control. I also don't particularly like pain.

So I made a decision. I wrote my letter. I told them why. I made sure to tell them not to be sad, that this was the way I choose.

Then I went to sleep.

Making certain that I would never wake up.

***#VII#***

I was under the impression that Animal Control was supposed to make sure there were no FREAKING RABID WOLVES running around.

Guess they missed one.

I'm bleeding from so many places I've lost count, it's just barely missed taking my eye out twice, and I'm fairly sure that my skull is fractured.

I felt its teeth on my throat, smelled the coppery scent of my blood, and then it all just...

... faded away.

***#VIII#***

Well. You know how I'm obsessed with fire? Yeah, it's not so cool when there's no way out.

Weren't they supposed to have, oh, I dunno... fire escapes?!

Apparently, this building had been paying off the inspectors or something...

I'm surprised I still have the energy to think. There's burns all over me, I've inhaled God-knows how much smoke, and that ceiling isn't sounding to good...

It gives one more ominous creak, then falls.

The last things I register are flashes of light, burning heat, and a searing pain across my back.

***#IX#***

The storm is a bad one. No wonder my little boat didn't stand up to it. The waves are twice as tall as me, and I'm not that short.

It's getting harder to keep my head above water. I must have swallowed gallons of the sea... I don't have any energy to keep fighting the mighty ocean.

So I stop fighting. I surrender the last of my oxygen and drift downward into the calm, quiet depths of the sea.

Into my watery grave.

***#X#***

'Freak Accident,' my foot. Large brass clocks don't just fall on people's heads. Not without help.

But, as stars dance across my vision and it starts to go grey, I really can't remember who might want to kill me.

***#XI#***

Note to self: Don't touch unknown plants without gloves on; thorns may contain poison.

As soon as the stupid thing had pierced my finger, I could feel the fire shooting through my veins. Seeing as it's an unknown - and apparently fast acting - poison, they're telling me there's no antidote.

Well, this is a pretty suckish way to die...

***#XII#***

I reached over the sink to plug in the blender, not really paying attention in favor of making sure the banana I had chosen wasn't rotten.

You know those stupid warnings on stuff? The ones that are all like "Do not use near water" even though no one reads them?

Apparently, they're there for a reason.

I felt the jolt run up my arm and spread through my body, and with one more star-burst of light, my vision went black.

***#XIII#***

I've always had a so-called 'irrational' fear of the dark. Everyone is always telling me 'the dark isn't scary' or some such nonsense.

They're wrong. The dark is a dangerous place.

Especially down here, where there's no light what-so-ever. I can't even tell if my eyes are opened or closed without reaching a hand up to check.

And that's about all the movement I can manage. There's not a lot of space down here. It's just me, some sort of beam thing keeping me from being completely crushed, and the dark down here. Under this stupid collapsed building.

Seriously, shouldn't they make these things safer? I mean, I'm pretty sure I was the only one inside when it caved, but... maybe they don't know that. It's been a while, and I'm just stuck in a bubble of darkness and silence, except for the occasional shifting of everything piled on top of me.

The beam won't last. I know that. I've always been pretty pessimistic, but I'm pretty sure that this time the worst actually is true.

I'm going to die here. Alone in the dark.

So I guess it really won't matter if I fall asleep. Maybe I won't feel it when the ceiling caves, then...

***#Elsewhere#***

Namine hummed as she sat down, fluttering her wings slightly for balance on the impressive looking but rickety chair. Another busy day at work... She adjusted her halo before opening the folder that contained the list of those under her jurisdiction.

So, who had died this week?

Upon opening the folder, her blue eyes widened. Unable to believe it, she shut the folder, stood up, turned the lights out and left the room.

Then she opened the door and turned on the lights and sat down on her delicate chair again.

The folder yielded the same contents.

"Oh, fudge."

***#Chapter One: End#***

Yay, it's done...

I have chapter two done, but it's not up here yet. That being said, who guards whom has been decided, as well as other misc information, but I would appreciate pairing suggestions.

That's not to say the story needs them, but it would make life a little more fun, I think. The only rules I have are:

*I'm not writing anything past fluffiness. It can be Yaoi, Yuri, Het, whatever, but THERE BE NO M RATED FICS HERE.

*Angels can only be paired with Angels, mortals only with mortals. Sorry if that ruins a favorite pairing of yours, but... there are reasons for that.