Had a serious case of writer's block while writing Johanna, and this popped out. It's really bad and pretty humorless…I don't know. Enjoy and review please!
Disclaimer: Why must you make me admit that I don't own Sweeney Todd? ):
10 Things You Should Never Do To Sweeney Todd.
1. Tell him to wait. He might try to kill you. (If he does, you better hope he
remembers he's sad about his daughter.)
2. Say, "Oh man, he's gonna kill me if he finds out…" if you do something wrong.
It could be taken literally.
3. Hand him a razor. He will shout, "At last! My arm is complete again!"
4. Mention Johanna and Anthony's relationship in front of him. That could result
In either your or Anthony's death.
5. Sit, talk, walk, skip, dance, or do any other physical verb near Sweeney when
You're near an open fire. Just ask Mrs. Lovett what happened when she made that mistake.
6. Run your fingers through his (beautiful) black locks. It will piss him off. We all
know we want to, though…
7. Go up to him and sing, "Darling, only the good die young!" And then add,
"And they were killed by THIS guy!" And point to him.
8. Go up to him and frantically shout, "THEY FOUND OUT! THEY KNOW WHAT THE PIES ARE MADE OF!" wait for him to freak out, then go "WAIT-! Just kidding!" He will probably slit your throat.
9. Casually tell him and Mrs. Lovett, "So I was walking with Judge Turpin today…and we became great friends!"
10. Say, "Hey, Mr. Bark—I mean, Mr. Todd…"
Well, I enjoyed it. Hope you guys do too.
Reviews are very much appreciated.