Pretty self explanatory fic. I figured her mother's birthday would be a pretty awful day for her, so I hope I captured Kate's pain well. Good thing stud muffin Castle was there to help her get through it all.
the comfort in his eyes;
Today was the day.
Kate had been dreading it for the past year, but it was inevitable. It glared at her in fury whenever she signed paperwork, whenever she turned the computer on. It was there. It wasn't going to leave.
Sighing, she gathered a handful of papers, tapping it against her desk to make the edges even. She slid them in a manila envelope, twisting the silver clip, putting the case away like a box of old keepsakes. She couldn't concentrate today. Staying at the precinct staring into oblivion was pointless. She might as well go home. At least Castle would be waiting for her.
She swung her purse over her shoulder, trying to put on a happy face for the rest of the world. She felt trapped. Nausea danced around her senses, her temples throbbing from the migraine that was beginning to form. Her heart pounded in her chest. It ached.
She fled the precinct, mostly unnoticed. Esposito had exchanged glances with Ryan, but they knew, they understood. It had been quite a few years that the three had worked with each other; many of these days had passed among them.
Kate put her hand in the air as soon as she reached the street, signaling to a cab that she was in need of a ride. One swerved over to her, and she pulled the door open.
It only seemed like a few minutes when she arrived home. She'd been living with Castle for about a month now, and she thanked her lucky stars that he'd be there for her when she opened the door. Her old apartment seemed bare to her now, cold, even. Life without him was unfathomable today.
She paid the cab driver hastily, not waiting for the change, and nodded to the doorman as she made her way through the front door of Castle's building. Pressing the button of the elevator, her hands began to tremble.
The door opened, and she stepped in, counting down the seconds until she'd be in his warm apartment, in his arms. The little time alone with her thoughts was unbearable. They weighed down on her like bricks.
The elevator beeped, and the doors opened once more. She tried to regain composure as she reached in her pocket for her very own key to Rick's home. Turning it gently in the lock, she pushed open the door.
Silence was all that greeted her.
The toll of the day crashed down on her. It was her mother's birthday, and spending it alone was just not something she could do. She yearned for a release of emotion, unable to carry it all by herself. She needed to talk to someone. She needed Castle. But he wasn't home.
She immediately felt the sting of tears begin to gather in the corners of her eyes. She pressed them shut as she dropped her purse and coat on the sofa, hastening her step towards the bedroom. She pushed open the door, and lifted the fluffy white sheet, climbing into the comforting bed. It still smelled like his cologne. She pressed her hands to her ears, trying to rid herself her headache, of her pain, but the effort was futile.
She laid there for a while, drifting in and out of sleep.
Suddenly she heard the door.
Castle entered, stepping into the room with a bouquet of roses in his hand. He had wanted to welcome her with open arms, and the flowers, but instead she had come home to nothing. It hurt him to see her like this, squeezing her knees up to her chest, trying to deal with the pain of loss by herself. He put the roses down on the bedside table, and walked over to the other side, climbing in. Her eyes were open now, but bloodshot. She said nothing.
He ran his fingers through her hair, and she inched closer, her head finding a resting place on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, trying to make her feel safe, trying to make her feel loved. His cologne once again filled her nostrils.
She sighed, as she began to speak. Her voice was weak, broken.
"I miss her."
She looked up at Castle, and he looked back. She found comfort in Castle's gaze.
With it, she would get through today.