Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
Summary: Sasuke is depressed and cutting himself. What happens when Naruto Uzumaki finds out?
Warning: Shonen-ai, yaoi, NaruSasu... and cutting, obviously.
He nicked his arm again, near the shoulder, and watched as the warm crimson liquid gushed out and flowed down his arm in a steady stream. He touched it with a curious finger and rubbed the sticky substance between his thumb and middle finger. The feel of blood was always the same, but every time he touched it, it was like he was touching it for the first time.
He sighed, letting it all out. Just forget, he told himself. Forget it all, forget…
The thoughts were like a mealody in his head, soft and soothing like a lullaby, filling his mind, and he did forget. He forgot everything. He was drifting on a dark cloud over a black abyss of emotion – pain, regret, loss, and anger… And he knew that if he didn't keep himself afloat, he would fall through the cloud, and the memories would flood him.
Just forget…
He breathed slowly, in and out. Repeat. In and out. Repeat. His heartbeat added to the rhythm and pounded in his chest.
You're dead, Uchiha.
The sharp thought interrupted his fading away, and his breathing became rough. He rasped air into his lungs, quickly and sharply. Unwanted tears stung his eyes, though he tried not to cry. His fast panting gave him a headache, and made him feel light-headed. This was becoming a regular occurrence for the raven-haired boy.
Picturing the blood in his mind, his breathing calmed again. He sank back against the wall, smiling bitterly, and opened one eye to see the blade on the floor between his legs. He picked it up slowly. Once again he would let his trouble bleed away, dribble out of his skin and seep into the wood floor beneath him.
The memories would fade, he would forget.
He cut himself sharply once, twice, three times. He finally dropped the blade and sank again with a sigh as he closed his eyes. Every sensation of the blood flowing over his skin gave him such pleasure, and a cold chill ran up his spine. What would people think if they could see him now? He laughed bitterly.
This addiction was like a drug... or good sex.
Sasuke knew he was in trouble, he knew he needed some kind of help from somebody, anybody. He was very aware of these facts, and he acknowledged them as well. But it was not enough to stop him. For now, he would keep doing what he was doing; continue abusing his body like this. It was his only escape.
Sasuke hated the color blue.
But not the same color blue as the shirts he wore, no. It was the light azure blue of the large innocent eyes of the boy who was now staring at him with a frown. "What do you want, dobe?" Sasuke demanded, annoyed by the other boy's look.
Naruto was turned around in his seat, one elbow propped up on Sasuke's desk holding his chin up so that he could stare at the Uchiha boy. "Aren't you hot?" Naruto asked Sasuke quietly.
Unfortunately for the blonde boy, Sasuke took this the wrong way and hit Naruto upside the head. "What, are you going to turn into one of those stupid fan girls now?" Sasuke demanded in a loud whisper. Sakura, who was sitting nearby, gasped and stared at him incredulously.
Naruto winced, rubbing his head. "Ouch, Sasuke-teme, that hurt!" he exclaimed. "I didn't mean it like that! I'm just saying, you wear those long sleeved shirts everyday and it's the middle of summer. Don't you get hot?"
Sasuke shrugged, and looked away coolly. In his mind, he snickered. Yeah right, like he was really going to tell Naruto Uzumaki about his problems.
"Okay class," the English teacher announced happily as he walked in, late, as usual. Kakashi-sensei smiled behind the mask and told everyone to get out a sheet of paper. "All right, now today we're going to be writing obituaries. What I want you to do is act as if you have just died, and I want you to write about the accomplishments of your life and cause of death. Don't forget to put your name at the top." With that, the sliver haired man sat behind his desk, which he propped his feet up on, and pulled out one of the small orange books he always seemed to have with him.
Sasuke smirked as he wrote his name across the top of his paper. He thought bitterly about what he should write; "Sasuke Uchiha, dead at age nineteen. At age sixteen he nearly succeeded in committing suicide, and was soon submitted into a mental institution where he eventually managed to kill himself three years later."
Sasuke crumpled up the sheet of paper, which was still blank other than his name. Another zero couldn't really damage his grade anymore than it already was. He played with the paper wad for a while, but soon grew bored and threw it at the back of Uzumaki Naruto's head. The blond boy turned around at frowned at him. "What's your problem?" Naruto demanded in a harsh whisper.
"Something you'd like to share with the class Naruto and Sasuke?" Kakashi asked from the desk, smiling happily. Sasuke smirked, and Naruto turned back around with a huff. "I thought not," Kakashi muttered, eyes already glued back onto the pages of his book.
Sasuke sat bored for a while, until, a moment later, Naruto threw his own paper wad back at him. Sasuke growled, annoyed, at the damn thing, which had smacked him right in the forehead. In front of him, Naruto chuckled.
Sasuke un-wadded the paper ball and flattened it out as best he could so that he could read the scribbled writing that was Naruto's handwriting. It read, "You. Me. After school, the usual place."
Sasuke smirked, and wrote at the bottom, "No fucking way dobe. You'll have to try harder than that if you want to get into my pants, fag."
His reply, "You know what I mean, ass-wipe."
"No."
"Afraid you'll lose?"
"I'm busy today. I'll kick you're ass tomorrow when I have the time for it."
A new sheet of paper was sent next, seeing as they had used up all the room on the first one. "What could be more important than sparing?" Naruto demanded.
Sasuke laughed. "You really think you're that important?"
When Naruto read what Sasuke had written, he inhaled deeply and sat up straighter in his seat. He didn't write back. Must've hit a nerve, Sasuke thought bitterly. He sighed. Oh well, that was amusing for a little while. Now what was he supposed to do for the rest of the period?
After school Sasuke dragged his ass home, as he usually did. He came through the door with a sigh and slung his backpack over onto the couch. Halfway across the living room, he collapsed in a crumpled heap on the floor. He was home once again, in this house. This large, empty house. The place where Itachi had killed their family so long ago.
His older brother was still in jail for it, too. He had spared Sasuke, and the police had turned up later that night to retrieve the killer. What made Sasuke sick was the fact that Itachi was still alive. His punishment had been a lifetime in prison, instead of a death sentence. It was just wrong. They even still let Itachi write Sasuke letters every now and then.
Sasuke had gotten another one just the day before.
He wondered if Itachi knew how much pain it caused Sasuke when he retrieved another of these letters, wishing him well. He wondered if Itachi only did it to torture him, knowing full well the haunting memories that emerged from the dust because of it. Happy memories entwined with the memory of his older brother standing above their dead parents with the look of a killer in his eyes, laughing maniacally. Sasuke would never admit now how much he had loved his brother, and looked up to him.
The incident had been a turning point in Sasuke's life. He trusted no one, cared about no one, sometimes not even himself. Which was why he was ever so slowly sliding the blade across his skin today, bleeding all over the floor. The happy memories were gone, dead with his family. Itachi had taken everything from him. His older brother might as well have killed him that night, along with the rest of their family. Sasuke wondered, had Itachi let him live just knowing how much Sasuke would suffer in the future?
Just forget… Sasuke's mind said soothingly. Forget…
He cut himself again, deeper this time. Forget, little brother…
Sasuke sobbed once as his vision went dark. He was grateful for the black out, even if it was because of blood loss.
Naruto couldn't believe what he was seeing.
After school that day, he had been determined to find out what was so important to Sasuke made him absolutely refuse to fight him. Sasuke had been so distracted by whatever was on his mind that he hadn't even noticed Naruto following him, which was a bad sign for the Uchiha. Once home, Sasuke shut the door easily behind him, and Naruto glanced in on him from a window.
The living room windows were all covered with heavy red curtains so that the light of day could not come in. Naruto had managed to find a broken window. There was no telling how long it had been so. He reached a hand through, careful not to get cut, and pulled back one of the curtains easily.
It was a good thing that it was not a sunny day, or else Sasuke would have noticed the light pouring in from the window. The dim light wasn't enough for the raven-haired boy to think much of.
Naruto glanced in to see Sasuke sitting in the floor, cutting himself.
Naruto gaped as he watched. Sasuke slashed the skin on his arm again and again, tears flowing silently down his cheeks. Blood was going everywhere, but from personal experience, Naruto knew it wasn't enough to die. Soon, Sasuke slumped forward and sobbed, then he stopped moving. The blade fell from his hand.
Naruto sighed sadly as he let the curtain fall back into place. He should have known that Sasuke would be doing something like this. Naruto had never seen the boy so broken.
The blond tried the door, and surprisingly, it swung wide open. He couldn't believe that Sasuke didn't lock the door. Naruto crossed the room cautiously, trying to make as little sound as possible in case Sasuke was still conscious.
Once he reached the raven-haired boy, he lightly tapped him on the shoulder. Yeah, he was unconscious all right. Naruto sighed again, and lowered Sasuke easily onto his back. Then, he went in search of a bathroom.
After finding what he would need for the cuts, he went to Sasuke's side again. Shit, I should've gotten a towel or something. He's lost a lot of blood now. Stupid Uzumaki! You should've known.
He cleaned Sasuke's cuts and bandaged his arms, then picked the raven-haired boy up and laid him gently on the couch. Afterward, Naruto explored the house a bit.
Sasuke's house was huge. And it was mostly empty. There was hardly any furniture. Naruto also found a door that was locked, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get it open. He shrugged it off, deciding not to invade Sasuke's privacy.
He also found Sasuke's bedroom.
Sasuke's room was somehow different than the rest of the house. The curtains were parted slightly and not so heavy, to let more light in. The walls were white, and not black, as Naruto would have guessed. There was a single queen-sized bed, a dresser full of Sasuke's emo clothes, and school stuff. Also, on the bed was a single folded sheet of paper, stacked neatly atop a tear-stained envelope.
What's this? Naruto wondered. He picked up the paper and envelope. His eyes widened as he saw the address, realizing that this was a letter from Sasuke's older brother in jail.
"That's right." Naruto jumped nearly two feet in the air, and spun quickly on one of his heels to see Sasuke, looking defeated, standing in the doorway. "Itachi still writes to me sometimes, from prison." He crossed the room, one hand over his bandaged arm. Sasuke snatched the letter from Naruto's hand. He looked angry now. "I'm surprised he hasn't stabbed somebody with a pencil by now, or something," Sasuke muttered. "Wouldn't surprise me."
The raven-haired boy glanced from the letter to Naruto. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.
"Well… I- I..." Naruto wasn't sure what to say.
Sasuke sighed. "Just go, Naruto."
"Sasuke," Naruto said quietly. He reached out a hand toward the other boy.
"I said get out!" Sasuke shouted, smacking his hand away. "It's none of your business. Leave!"