B0NNii3 T4YL0R SH4K3D0WN!!

Warning: Slight OOCness!

"This.. is insane." I said, looking at my brother. Itachi looked out the window, and made a face.

"Seriously, you need to get it through their heads that you're not interested," he said, sighing.

"Well thanks, captain obvious,"

He crossed his arms and made another face. "Pretend to like boys. Like me. Don't you wanna be like your big, gay brother?"

That was a good idea.

A really good idea.

"...Thanks, Itachi!"

I could tell he was joking in the first place, but smiled as I walked back to my room.

---

Alright, maybe I should back up a tad. My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I'm 15 years old, I go to school, hang out with my friends, do normal stuff. But, I've been "blessed", as my mother puts it, with my 'devastatingly good looks'. But these girls-- they fucking LOVE me. It's so sad and so scary, I'm afraid I'm gonna end up like Purity, in that Slipknot song. Buried alive in a coffin.

It's okay to have crushes and shit, but when you follow your 'crush' around, it's really bad.

I don't even understand why. I'm a total dick to people, even my friends sometimes. My brother is a dick, and people tend to stay away from our house altogether.

Seriously, what did they see in us? Kiba and Naruto were laughing about it, and made a joke. It was kinda true.

But oh well. I had called Naruto, set up the plan, and he said it would be "fun".

---

I rolled on into school next to Itachi with my usual strut. Yeah, I strut. Kiba called me a fucking rooster once. Cock, dick, haha..

And of course, Ino and Sakura came up, blabbering to me. But Naruto, right on cue, grabbed me from behind and spun me around. He grinned, and stage kissed me. For a real long time. I had to mess with these two.. The look on their face was pricless.

"Not now, Naruto-Kun," I whispered.

"S-S-Sasuke-K-K-Kun..You're g-" Ino stammered. I interrupted her, "Gay."

And OF COURSE, our small group of all-guy friends came up, mouths hung open in shock.

Naruto hugged onto my arm and made a face at them.

"Sasuke, you came out! Finally!" Kiba laughed. "Pay up, Neji!"

Neji grumbled and slapped some yen into his hand.

"..." I couldn't exactly break the gay facade that I had just created with Naruto, even if I were going to break it just to our friends. With them, secrets spread like wildfire.

"It's true," I sighed, "I'm gay."

"Alright, just tell us one more thing," said Kiba, "Who's the uke?"

Naruto and I looked at each other, and he grinned. "Me!" he said cheerfully. I choked back a laugh. Neji recieved money from Kiba. Shino took money from Shikamaru.

"I knew it."

---

I sighed, stretching out on the bed in my room. It was supposed to be private, and I really needed a lock on my door, but you can't keep anything from Itachi. He barged right in.

"I could've been just sitting here, naked, you know," I said.

"It's nothing I've never seen before," he scoffed, "And you wouldn't just sit there naked. But.. In your little game, how far ahead have you planned? It's not like.. You can go back to girls. Seriously. All the chicks.. and guys, for that matter, are gonna think you suck cock."

"I'll.. Find a way around it."

OMFG! Sorry for the OOCness. D: But.. I have an excuse!!

Sasuke is under different circumstances: D

No flaming, only constructive criticism. ;D